


The Only Light in the Darkness

by elcapitan_rogers



Series: Romanogers AU [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Making Love, Romance, Smut, Soul Bond, Soulmates! AU, complete soul bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 89,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2382407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elcapitan_rogers/pseuds/elcapitan_rogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where everyone sees in black and white until they met their soul mate. (Edited Version)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Darkness

**1 : The Darkness**

 

They didn’t know how this happened to humanity. They used to see the world in color until God decided to take this precious gift from them. After centuries and centuries they turned the world into cruel and evil place. The world was now in only black and white, as if to make them suffer for their own mischief. The only way to get rid of this curse was when you met your soulmate, met the right partner.

Your soulmate is the only person on this earth that will make you see the world in color again. They are the only person that when you look them in the eyes for the first time, they will give back the power of color. 

 

It was a rare chance for people to find their true soulmate.

 

Most people only found their ‘life mate’. Your life-mate was the person who you met, who you shared life experiences with that form a strong bond between two people and those two people genuinely loved one another for who they really are.

 

A soulmate has a deeper bond and deeper level of connection than a life-mate. Once you meet your true soulmate, the bond will bind both of you within a second; You can’t run, you can’t hide, and you can’t deny it.

The same curse had no exception even earth’s mightiest heroes had to suffer the same thing.

 

Even though the world was rotten to hell, a villain still tried to conquer it every single day; As if the black and white vision wasn’t bad enough! This time it was Loki leading an army of aliens called the Chitauri. 

 

The Avengers managed to save the day. The team consisted of five members; Ironman or Tony Stark, The Hulk or Dr. Bruce Banner, Thor the lightning god, Hawkeye or Clint Barton and Black Widow or Natasha Romanoff.

 

It was a hard fight but they managed to win the war. SHIELD had to use all their forces to clean up the mess in New York. Stark Tower was almost destroyed but was now renovated to become a home of the Avengers.

 

Thor transported Loki back to Asgard to face the Asgardian justice for his crimes against the Nine Realms. The god promised to come back as soon as he finished his business with Loki.

 

Clint and Natasha had to go back to SHIELD immediately after the battle. Fury tasked Hawkeye for a scout mission in Europe for potential recruits while Natasha remained at SHIELD and helped Fury and Hill handle the cleanup in New York.

 

Three months after the incident, the Avengers reunited again for the opening of Stark Tower. Tony invited everyone to live in the tower and specially designed the five top floors for each member to have their own space.

 

Everyone agreed to this because they knew Tony wouldn’t give up asking them. Natasha only agreed because of Pepper nicely asking her to move in; she couldn’t handle this much testosterone in one building alone. 

 

The welcome party was held when everyone finally moved in and Clint was back from Europe.

  
“Legolas! Welcome back, buddy” Tony greeted and hugged Clint.

“Hey, Stark, still your pretty usual flamboyant self.” The archer shot back and Tony smiled. 

“I designed the top floor for you buddy but I didn’t know which color you like the most….”

“Don’t worry, man. I’ve only known two colors my entire life.”

 

Clint received a very warm welcome from everyone and the last one was Natasha who hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

 

“You’re still alive.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Nat?”

“Just kidding” Nat said, “I’m glad that you’re back.”

“It’s good to be back.” 

 

Everyone enjoyed the little party. Tony and Pepper introduced the team to James Rhodes or the War Machine who will join the team the next time they face a global catastrophe. Rhodey quickly blended in with the group. Mostly because everyone couldn’t stand Tony Stark.

 

Thor already came back from Asgard and brought Jane and Darcy along with him, not to mention that the astrophysicist saw color again because of Thor which brought them to the subject of soulmates and life-mates again.

 

“What is it like, Stark?” Natasha asked curiously “To see the color again and not having to live in black and white?”

“It’s great, actually. I feel alive again. I can see you guys wearing very stupid matching clothes.”

“I never heard your case before, Stark.” Clint spoke up “I’m not sure that the curse worked that way. I don’t believe in a life-mate

“What why, Clint?” Nat asked because she’d only heard of the word soulmate.

“The curse was that humans had to live in black and white until they found their soul-mate.” Bruce told “Tony knew Pepper for a long time but they didn’t see the color right away.”

“It was like a light flickering sometimes.” Tony explained “Sometimes I thought I saw colors but nah, it was just black and white. Until that day I kiss her after the Stark expo incident and everything blew up. My only conclusion is that, in my case, I have to find someone who shared the same life experience and truly loves me for who I really am. That’s why I consider myself a lucky man.”

“In conclusion, people started to mix the concept of soul-mate and life-mate together because they couldn’t tell the difference between those two words.” Bruce explained “It was already hard to find the person who can give the color back to your life so people tend to ignore the categorization.”

 

Bruce himself already saw the colors too. He’d already met his soulmate, Betty Ross; but due to the Hulk inside him, Bruce preferred to stay away from her because he was afraid of hurting her. It was the most painful thing to do. Lucky enough for them, Bruce and Betty already bonded in the deepest level. They no longer felt the searing pain from being away from one another or lost the ability to see color.

 

Thor was immune to the curse because he wasn’t from this earth but Jane seemed to see color again because of Thor. Tony quickly classified it as life-mate. Jane could be ten meters apart from Thor but if more than that her vision would return back to black and white. They had shared a kiss but no deeper level of intimacy. That was why her vision turned to black and white again if she was away from Thor.

 

Tony and Pepper had their colored vision back permanently. Their bond was completed because they shared the deepest level of intimacy with one another. They could be apart from each other and basically got their normal lives back.

 

Clint and Natasha, the two master assassins still had their visions in black and white. Clint was more hopeful than Natasha who accepted the fact that she might not find her soulmate, let alone life-mate, especially after all the bad things she did while with the red room.

 

Nat lost her hope and learned to accept the truth. She will die in this sorrowful world without a chance to see color again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & internetangie  
> -Proofread again by captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review. Let me know what you think about the concept of the story. PLEASEEEE :)


	2. The Lost Soldier

**2 : The Lost Soldier**

 

“Sir! We found it.” One agent reported from his station. “The arctic team just reported back.”

Fury walked to the agent and read the message showing on the screen. It was a report about the latest SHIELD search mission.

“Get me, Coulson.” The director ordered. “Hill, you have the bridge.”

“Yes, sir”

Fury went to his office on the helicarrier and waited for his right hand man to arrive. Three minutes later, Coulson emerged through the door.

“Agent, I have a mission for you.”

“What is it, sir?”

“We found him.”

The director handed Coulson a file. The agent’s eyes widened as he flipped the paper and read all the details.

“Your quinjet will leave when you are ready. Romanoff will accompany you to the site too.”

 

* * *

 

 

The two SHIELD agents landed at the searching site in the Arctic. It was freezing and windy. Natasha froze on the spot for a second as a flashback of her old life danced in her mind. Coulson called her and pulled her out of her deep trace of thought.

"What exactly are we doing at this arctic wasteland?" Natasha asked boringly as her eyes asserted the place "Don't tell me we found another Asgardian weapon that fell from the sky and no one can move it."

"Fury didn't tell you?”

"Fury told me shit and you know that.” The spy rolled her eyes "He only said that I should accompany you to the site in case shit happens."

Coulson couldn't help but smile fondly at the woman. He knew she was never fond of the cold and snow because it reminded her of Russia and her time doing all the bad things one man could imagine.

He still remembered the moment Barton told him he would bring her in rather than to kill her as he was assigned.

 

_Ten years ago_

 

“She is just a child, Phil.” Clint said harshly over the phone.

"Barton, if it's that you see color again because you found her..."

"You are not listening to me, Phil. She's just a teenager. She still has a lot of her life to live.”

"She's dangerous, Barton. How many lives has she ended?”

“People can change, Phil. Everyone deserves a second chance. She wants to renegade. Think about it, Phil. The great Black Widow will be Fury's most valuable asset.”

He made a decision to let Hawkeye bring her in. On the way back to the Triskellion, Clint had his opportunity to ask her a lot of questions and he could tell that she gave him a truthful answer. Somewhere deep within he didn’t fully trust her, knowing that she lied for a living, but he knew she was a good person deep down.

Of course, Fury spent an hour yelling and lecturing them both. He wasn’t trusting any word that Natasha said. Fury, Coulson and Clint were in the director’s office.

“I told you to kill her, Barton!”

“She is just a teenager, sir.” Clint replied

“A lethal teenager who was trained by the Red Room and killed dozens of people. She’s the one behind the hospital fire in Sao Paulo too.”

“Barton and I agreed that she will be a valuable asset to our organization. She has no desire to work for them anymore.” Coulson informed.

“How could you two be so sure that she’s not gonna try us?” Fury asked, “She’s a god damn spy and you two brought her right into our organization.”

“Sir, give her one chance and if you really don’t want her, we will execute her for her crimes.” Coulson suggested

Fury gave them both a huff of frustration when two of his most trusted agents decided to go against him at the same time. 

“What do you think, Hill?” Fury turned to his right hand agent.

“In terms of strategic moves, we add one highly train agent to our payroll. On the other hand, judging by her record and her origin, we shouldn’t trust her.”

“Everyone needs a second chance.” Clint said.

Fury inhaled sharply, “Fine, bring her in. I have something to ask her before I make a decision.”

Two agents, fully armed, escorted Nat into the office. The great Black Widow and her notorious crimes exceeded her so no one could’ve thought she was only seventeen years old.

“Sit down.” Fury ordered and Natasha sat down in the chair opposite of him. Clint and Phil stood behind to support Natasha.

“Director, I want to do something good with my life now.” She said, “I have had enough of what the Red Room made me do.”

“I don’t trust you, Romanoff.”

“I will earn it. It isn’t easy to trust someone with my reputation.”

“Barton, Coulson, I place her under your supervision. Hawkeye will prepare you for our normal recruit assessment, mentor you and guide you around SHIELD. Coulson will be your handler after you pass our test.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Fury gave them a nod and released the three of them. Once outside the director’s office, Coulson spoke up.

 

“Congratulations, Agent Romanoff! You are now an agent of SHIELD.”

After Natasha passed every test with the highest score, she fully worked with SHIELD and slowly earned the trust and respect from everyone until she became one of the most trusted agents of Director Fury. She became Hawkeye’s partner and closest friend.

She came so far from when they brought her in. Phil admitted that he was very proud of her, like a father seeing his daughter succeed. It was almost ten years since that day.

“What the hell was that?” Natasha’s voice brought him back from his memory as they were standing in front of a gigantic aircraft being lifted up by a giant crane.

“So the legend around shield is true.” Coulson said “It’s an aircraft HYDRA planned to use to destroy the world in World War II”

Before Nat could ask something else, one agent reached them with something in his hand.

“Sir, we found this.” The agent handed him a round shaped shield. 

Nat leaned closer to look at it, “Is that…?”

“Captain America’s shield.”

 

* * *

 

The two agents stayed at the site longer than they expected. Natasha and Coulson even joined the searching team on the hunt for Captain America. They found his shield which means he must be somewhere around this place.

They put on their arctic gear and went off the campsite every morning with the team.

 

“Do you think we can find him here?” Nat asked and looked at the small monitor in Coulson’s hands. “I mean, he could be anywhere. It’s been three days since we started searching for him.”

“SHIELD labs simulated the event and they concluded that the Captain was likely immediately frozen in the ice since he landed the plane.”

“We went too far from the crashing site. Maybe we went in the wrong direction.” Nat said as they stood at the bottom of a giant ice cliff.

They looked around and there was no sign of any living form around here.

 

“We’ve had no luck today.” Coulson concluded “It’s a dead end here. All right, team! We’re heading back to the camp!”

Nat couldn’t be happier because she hated being in the cold as much as hitting a dead end. But the moment she turned away, Natasha saw something in the corner of her eye which made her whip her head around to look.

Her eyes widened when she saw a star embedded on a suit. She couldn’t identify the color but from the file it said he was wearing red, white and blue. 

“Coulson! Is that him?”

Natasha pointed at the guy in the ice. Coulson rushed in and his eyes went wide. 

“Get me the team!” 

 

* * *

 

They were able to remove the captain from the ice and transport him back to the camp for the defrosting process. The medical team told Coulson that the procedure was very delicate and must take a lot of caution. They also gave him an estimated time before they could take the Captain back to the Triskellion for more medical attention.

“It will take two more days, sir.” The head medical staff told him, “We want to make sure that his condition is clear for transport.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Coulson took his duty to keep his watch over the process while Natasha, too bored to just keep watching one man, took off with the searching team to investigate the aircraft and other wreckages. They managed to recover some old weapons and the aircraft’s power source.

Natasha came back in the evening and met up with Coulson for dinner.

“How is the whole defrosting thing going?” She asked.

“It’s going well. He will be ready for transporting by tomorrow.” The agent replied “You look happy.”

“Of course, I am beyond elated that we finally will head back to the city. I hate this place as much as I hate Russia. There is too much white that could blind me. I have enough white in my eyes I don’t need the freaking snow to remind me that I haven’t found my soulmate yet.”

“You will find him one day, Natasha.” Coulson said, “Things like this take time.”

“I hope so. No one wants to die in this black and white world.” Natasha said, “I don’t know. I’ve been losing hope lately.”

“Don’t lose your hope.” Coulson patted her shoulder before changing the subject, “You wanna watch the defrosting procedure.”

“Nah, it’s your job watching him, not mine.”

“Suit yourself.” Coulson said, “We will leave tomorrow with him.”

 

* * *

 

Captain America was ready for transporting back to the Triskellion the next day. They will be traveling back to the city with the medical quinjet because the Captain still needs to be stabilized on the life support machine.

Coulson was talking to the pilot while Natasha sat in her seat, all the while keeping her eyes at the back cargo where the medical team was working. The curiosity finally took over her. She told herself that she would not be curious about the Captain because that was Coulson’s job. He had always been a Captain America fan and Natasha found it quite hilarious.

To be honest, Clint and her had a very good time teasing the agent.

She walked into the medical section. The medical team greeted her and got back to work. 

“How is he?” She asked.

“He’s doing great. His vital signs are stable but the current process needs a lot of attention and we need to keep him at the right temperature at all times.”

 

Nat looked at the sleeping Captain. All right, she was interested in him now. It was her habit to observe and needing to know everything. She finally gave in and raised her hand to touch his face.

“He’s still cold.” She said.

“Yes, his body temperature is still lower than normal people.”

 

Nat looked at him one more time and touched his face again out of curiosity. His blonde locks were messy. Wait! Blonde! WAIT!

The spy blinked her eyes and jerked her hand away from him. She stumbled backwards and shook her head repeatedly. She overcame the shock and realized her vision was still in black and white.

“Are you alright, agent Romanoff?” The medical chief asked.

“I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.”

Nat immediately walked out of the medical bay and sat back in her seat, trying to ease her mind with the conclusion that it was just something her brain made up.

It was just an illusion.

  


* * *

 

 

They arrived at the Triskellion and they put Captain Rogers into the medical ward. Fury himself came over to oversee the settling. The Avengers knew about this too because the Captain would be joining their team after he woke up.

 

Natasha opposed to this idea and she made her point very clear that the team didn’t need more members as their current situation was hard enough to maintain peace over the group. Another reason was that they didn’t know when the Captain would wake up and if he was still the same person from before he went under. He could be mentally damaged by all those bad memories, tragedies and the war.

 

The Avengers didn’t need another mentally damaged person in the team.

 

Yeah, she knew all the pains and nightmares that haunted them, the veterans of war. She'd been through hell before. With the way the Red Room trained her, the way they took her brain out and stuffed something else inside her head changing her to their use. It's a nightmare and she was glad that Clint pulled her out of that hell.

 

Some part in her wanted Clint to be her soulmate, after all these years of working together, fighting together and sharing the same experience but then again, he wasn't the right one for her. She loved him like a brother, the only family member she had left.

 

Well, she'd been too deep in her thoughts and losing focus.

 

Since they put the captain in a SHIELD medical ward, every Avengers member came to visit the famous super soldier in his sleep. Bruce Banner was very happy to finally get his hands on Steve's blood so he could figure out the right formula of the serum.

 

Tony Stark had to be here to see the legend his father never shut up about. He grew up with the tales of the great Captain America. 

 

Clint dragged her with him the other day because he felt weird to come visit a guy sleeping alone. They were just standing next to his bed and looking at him. There was something about the Captain that made the two agents feel overwhelmed with patriotism. 

 

"He's very young." Clint noted "He missed the chance to live his life."

"I know." Natasha replied "Not everyone can get what they want, Barton."

"What do you think? How would he react to all of this?"

"I don't know. Hope he's friendly. I seriously cannot handle another superpower right now after what went down in New York."

"He will be friendly. He's Captain America."

 

Sometimes, Nat hoped she could one day be as optimistic as Clint.

 

What surprised her the most was that she visited the captain the most. Well, maybe a little less than Coulson. She found herself gravitated around the captain. She didn't know why but she liked to sit in silence in his room.

 

Nat thought that she did it out of curiosity.

 

Fury didn't want his best agent to just sit around doing nothing. He sent her and Clint on an escort mission. It was an easy one, just to make sure that he arrived unharmed at the embassy.

 

“Well, this one was easy.” Clint spoke up as he drove the car back to SHIELD.

“Yeah, I love it when things are this easy.” His partner replied, “World sucks enough for us.”

“Stop whining, Widow. I know you can’t wait to watch Captain America sleeping.”

“Ha-ha” She laughed sarcastically, “His room is the quietest place at SHIELD and I like to sit in silence without hearing you sassing me, Clint.”

 

Clint was about to open his mouth to retaliate when “All agents, code 13!” 

The distress call came from their radio in the car.

“Showtime!” Clint exclaimed and stepped up the gas.

 

* * *

 

  


The captain’s recovery room had no visitor today. It’s been a quiet day at SHIELD and someone who had been asleep for seventy years finally woke up. 

His long eyelashes fluttered as he began to stir. He heard a very familiar voice inside the room he was in. The bed he was laying in was softer and warmer than he remembered. The last time he slept, he only remembered being surrounded by icy water before everything stopped,

 

_“Curve ball, high and outside for ball one.”_

 

He blinked and slowly opened his eyes. The intense blue orbs showed confusion for a mere second until he fully registered what was happening around him.

_“So the Dodgers are tied, 4-4”_

 

His eyebrows frowned when he heard the baseball game currently aired via radio.

 

_“This fellow’s capable of making it a brand-new game again. Just an absolutely gorgeous day here at Ebbets field.”_

He slowly looked around the room and inhaled the smell of the room. It was cleaner than he remembered the hospitals in the 40’s, they didn’t smell this clean. He looked around but everything seemed to be the way he used to remember.

_“The Phillies have managed to tie it up at 4-4. Pearson beaned Reiser in Philadelphia last month. Wouldn’t the youngster like a hit there to return the favor?”_

He slowly moved his body, started with his arms, then his legs and then rolled himself over to get up from his bed. He was dressed in a white SSR t-shirt and  khaki pants. Something felt odd, he thought to himself while he sat up, something wasn’t right.

The blonde man tried to think back about everything. _Something’s not right!_

_“Pete leans in. Here’s the pitch. Swung on. A line to the right and it gets past Rizzo.”_ _  
_

He quickly turned to the opened window and heard a horn from a car on the street. He looked at the radio that continued to broadcast the game. There’s something wrong with this place. His instinct steamed a warning.

The door opened and a women with brown hair wearing a military uniform came in and brought him out of his thoughts, back to the reality. The woman granted him a friendly smile but he knew something was wrong.

 

“Good morning” She greeted as she closed the door. “Or should I say afternoon?”

 

He didn’t reply but stared at her. His guard was up and his instincts kicked in. He didn’t trust her.

“Where am I?” He asked, a bit of hostility in his voice.

“You’re in a recovery room in New York City.”

 

He silenced and listened to the game again and looked out the window.

“Where am I really?” He asked her again because he knew she was lying.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“The game. It’s from May 1941. I know, ‘cause I was there.”

 

The woman’s face changed in an instant. He was right. She was lying so he got up and crept toward her in a very threatening way.

 

“Now I’m gonna ask you again. Where am I?”

“Captain Rogers…”

“Who are you?!”

 

The door opened again and this time it was two big guys, fully armed. He realized he was captured by the enemy so he did the only thing he knew. Survive. He threw the two men though the wall, this created enough room for him to escape. His recovery room was a set up as the outside of his room was clearly from another time. He began to run and heard the woman called after him.

“Captain Rogers, wait!” But he’d ran out the door already. “All agents, Code 13!”

 

He ran out to the hallway and found men in suits and armed, everywhere. They all turned to him and began to chase after him. He quickly got out of the building, pushing everyone out of his way. He made it to the street in front of the building where he was shot in the leg and the arrow became a tangled rope tied around his legs and someone kicked him. He fell to the ground and that person straddled his waist.

“You shouldn’t run” A female voice sounded in his ears and Steve looked up at her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & internetangie  
> -Proof read again by captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review. Let me know what you think about how the story progress so far and do you like the how the story go or not. PLEASEEEE :)


	3. The Soulmate

**3 : The Soul Mate**

 

 

“Who the hell are you?” He asked, trying to get off the restraining rope around his body.

 

She had a sly smile on her face as she pinned him down by pressing her knee hard to his throat. Their eyes met and he noticed that her beautiful green eyes were like a sea of emerald.

 

Wait…green…wait!

 

His eyes went wide and he saw hers did the same. It couldn’t be! This was not real. How could he see color again? It was not possible. He woke up to see black and white again after he decided to leave someone important behind.

Then all the color seemed almost too bright for him he thought it could blind his eyes. Her hair was a fiery red color. Her skin was pale but her plump lips were red. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, still couldn’t believe that he was able to see color again.

 

“Who are you?” Steve asked confusingly. His eyebrows frowned 

“What did you do to me?” Nat asked back and pushed herself away from him.

 

But the searing pain erupted inside of them and Captain America pulled her back until their bodies were within a few inches from each other.

 

How the hell did this happen? Natasha thought to herself as she looked at the man who brought the ability to see color back to her again. How could this be possible? She saw him before but it didn’t make her see color except that one time she thought she saw color again.

 

You will know someone is your soulmate once you look them in the eyes for the first time and the color begins to slowly come back into your life, Bruce once told her and that explained everything.

 

Finally, it was her turn. She finally found the other half of her life and someone who might fall in love with her.

 

His hair was the exact same golden shade she thought she had seen. His intense deep blue eyes and very long eyelashes that she secretly wanted to run her finger on. He was a very handsome man, she gotta admit it.

 

But their stunned moment was interrupted by rushed footsteps. Hawkeye rushed to his partner and he drew his arrow, pointing it at Captain America.

 

“Nat, what happened?” Clint asked “Let go of her.” The archer told the Captain.

 

Steve let go of her but Natasha didn’t remove herself from his side, afraid of the pain. The spy turned to him with a terrified look in her eyes 

 

“I see color again.” She told her partner.

 

Clint could see that both of them were really terrified by this fact. He couldn’t do anything either but then Director Fury showed up with an army of agents behind him. Steve’s protective instinct kicked in and he pushed Natasha behind him.

 

“At ease, soldier. We aren’t going to hurt you or anyone else.”

 

The man who stood in front of Steve was wearing a black trench coat and had an eye patch on. Steve and Natasha stood up on their feet as the man approached them. Many armed men pointed their guns at Steve as they saw the captain had the Black Widow with him.

 

“Where the hell am I?” Steve asked, still keeping Natasha behind him.

“That’s one of my agents you are holding as a hostage.” The one eyed man noted.

“Sorry, I didn’t know.” The soldier replied, maintaining his hostile tone.

“Look, I’m sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly.”

Steve frowned, confused, “Break what?” His voice was a little shaken.  
“You’ve been asleep, Cap.” The man answered “For almost 70 years.”

 

That was when everything hit Steve and it was too overwhelming. He looked around the place and started to take in everything. How much did it change from his time. His face changed into the most heartbreaking expression one could ever see.

 

Steve still didn’t believe it. He wanted to deny everything. He wanted to believe that they were lying to him.

 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened his eyes again, he would wake up from this nightmare. 

 

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah” Steve replied but everyone could tell that he was lying. “Yeah, I just…” He tried to keep himself from letting tears fall from his eyes. “I had a date.”

 

Nat could sense the sorrow within him and it almost pained her too. She didn’t know how all of these feelings were bubbling inside of her. 

 

“It will be okay, Cap. You need time to adjust. We will help you.” Fury said, “We will help you at every step along the way.”

“Thanks…” 

“We will help you settle in here at SHIELD.”

“Sir, I have something to tell you.” Natasha decided to speak up “I see color again”

 

Fury’s eyes went wide.

 

“How?” He asked

Natasha looked at Steve, “He…”

Fury quickly took the hint and turned to his right hand man, “Barton! Coulson! Take the Captain back to Stark Tower and help him settle in. This is more complicated than we thought.”

 

* * *

 

 

Coulson explained to the Captain about the Avengers initiative and how they were sort of living together under the same roof in Stark Tower. Steve was half listening half trapped in his own thoughts.

 

He still tried to believe that he was waking up 70 years later from when he crashed that HYDRA plane and that he saw color again because of this woman he heard Barton call her ‘Nat’.

 

“Stark made his tower the Headquarters of the Avengers.”

“Stark?” Steve asked “Is Howard…?”

“He passed away many years ago, cap. Car accident” Coulson replied.

 

Clint was driving while Natasha was sitting in the passenger seat beside him. She occasionally glanced at Steve who kept his eyes fixed on her too. His eyes were curious but, mostly from what Natasha could read there was mistrust and suspicion.

 

“He is Howard’s only son. Tony Stark who inherited all of the Stark’s fortune. He’s also one of the Avengers going by the name Iron Man.”

“You can called him ‘Shell Head’, ‘Tin man, or ‘Iron Ass’ until you come up with your own nickname for him, cap.” Clint said suggestively.

 

Steve frowned and Clint immediately shut up because the Captain seemed to not get his joke. Nat sat in silent all the way back to the tower, all the while she could feel his eyes burning at the back of her neck.

 

At the tower, Fury had Hill informing all the Avengers about the current situation. Hill told them that the Captain was finally awake and was in a state of confusion. Second thing was that Steve will move into the Avengers Tower earlier than the original plan and the last news was that Natasha finally found the one who brought the color back into her life.

 

“Who’s her soulmate?” Tony asked.

“Captain America” Hill replied.

“Holy shit!” The billionaire exclaimed “You mean, like they were destined for this. He had to wait for 90 something years for her!”

“Seemed to be that way, he woke up and Romanoff took him down and they saw color again.”

 

Pepper squealed with joy. She always prayed for everyone in this little family to finally find someone like her and Tony. 

 

“I already have one floor for him. Since Fury told me you already found him and wanted him to join the team.” Tony said “I never thought he would be little red’s soulmate.”

“He still needs a lot of time to adjust and we are counting on you guys to help him. Now that all of his connections to the past are almost gone.” Hill said, “Dr. Banner, I hope you can help them with adjusting as they are soulmate and you are the only one with that kind of experience.”

“I will try, Agent Hill.” Bruce said, “But I need to get to know him first.”

“Took all the time you need.”

 

JARVIS informed them that Natasha, Clint, Coulson and Captain America arrived at the tower and were on their way up to the living area. 

 

In the elevator, everyone stood quietly in an awkward silence. Clint attempted to say something but he kept his mouth shut. Coulson stood quietly as he observed the Captain and Natasha. Steve and Natasha were just staring at each other and no one was willing to break the eye contact first.

 

Steve stared at her because he was curious and he didn’t trust the woman who claimed that she saw color again because of him. Natasha kept her eyes fixed on his only because she would never be the one to break eye contact first.

 

The other two men could feel the heat rising in this confined space.

 

The ding of the elevator sounded and the door slid open. Coulson and Clint got out from the small space. Steve turned and headed out without saying a word to her but he reached his arm out to hold the elevator open for her.

 

Steve turned again to see the room filled with people. He noticed a black haired man wearing a t-shirt with resemblances of Howard Stark. He knew right away that was his friend’s son, Tony Stark, the man who owns this building. Next to him was a blonde woman, well, he couldn’t clearly identify the color of her hair because he just saw it for the first time. She had a big smile on her face and had one of the friendliest faces he had seen today. Next to him was a man in a purple shirt and grey slacks. He wore glasses and looked calm, Steve could feel himself relax around this man.

 

“The mighty Captain!” The last man in the room boomed a greeting “I have heard a lot of your bravest tales from the son of Coul!”

 

The tall blonde man with a muscular body lung forward and held Steve in a bear hug.

 

“Let us fight in the glorious battle to come! It would be my greatest honor!”

“Thor, don’t get to excited.” Natasha scolded Thor.

“Captain Rogers, this is Thor Odinson or the god of thunder.” Coulson introduced him.

Steve frowned and Clint leaned in to clarify things for Steve, “He’s a real god, cap. He can summon lighting and fly.  
“Just levitate, friend of Hawk.” Thor corrected. “Mjolnir only gave me the power to levitate and transport me from place to place.”

“Nice to meet you.” Steve said and reached his hand out and Thor eagerly shook it.

Coulson gestured his hand to the three people, “This is Tony Stark, Pepper Potts…”

“Tony’s lifemate.” She added.

“And Dr. Bruce Banner.”

 

Steve shook hands with all of them. His face was still confused because of everything but at least, these new people were friendly enough for him.

 

“And these two are Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. Both are with the Avengers and SHIELD.”

 

Steve gave them a nod. When his eyes fell on Natasha again, they didn’t leave her and everyone could sense the tension between them.

 

“Welcome to this little family, cap.” Tony said immediately when he sensed the tension, “Hope you don’t mind. I already prepared your own floor for you to stay.”

“Thank you for your generosity, Mr. Stark.”  
“Just call me Tony. Mr. Stark reminds me of my dad.”

“Come on, We will show you around the place.” Pepper said excitingly and led everyone to the elevator.

 

Everyone could notice how Steve moved too quickly into the elevator behind Pepper like he was trying to stay away from Natasha. The spy also moved quickly after Steve entered the elevator and her face contorted in pain.

 

They got out of the elevator to the floor painted mostly in blue.

 

“We are not sure which style you like for your apartment.” Pepper said as she led all of them into the living room decorated with modern furniture. 

“You can do any adjustments if you want to. Let JARVIS know and he will send a man to change everything.”

“Thanks but I think this is okay.” Steve said, “Who’s JARVIS anyway?”

“I’m JARVIS, Captain. I will be assisting you with everything in this tower. If you’re not sure about anything, you can ask me right away, sir.”

 

Steve jumped when he heard the sound coming from the wall or ceiling. He quickly recovered as he realized he was in another century and it must be a common thing around here.

 

Everything wasn’t the same, Steve thought. His old life was gone, his old world was gone, and his friends must be all gone too. And with that thought, all the old memories began to flood into his head, drowning him with all the feelings and flashbacks.

 

“Steve!’ He heard someone call his name but he didn’t answer back.

 

He started to see old faces and people from his past coming alive in front of his eyes and reality was fading away. He saw Howard, he saw Colonel Phillips, he saw Bucky and the howling Commandos, and he saw her, Peggy.

 

He shut his eyes tightly to stop the images from reeling in his head. He felt soft hands grab his arms. It was soothing and gentle but he couldn’t stop his mind from replaying his past. Deep down he was still holding on tight to it and never wanted to let it go.

 

“Captain! Tell me what’s going on!” A female voice sounded next to him. She sounded painful.

 

Steve felled to the ground and the last thing he saw were the beautiful green eyes of the fiery redhead before everything went black.

 

* * *

 

 

Thor helped put Steve in his bed. Bruce and Tony had JARVIS run some diagnosis on the captain. The AI told them that the Captain was experiencing fatigue and tiredness due to freezing in ice for over seventy years.

 

Bruce who analyzed the captain’s current mental state told the Avengers that he might suffer from a sudden shock and denial. He must have had a sudden flashback from the past.

 

That was what Natasha felt when she called his name. She felt the surge of memories suddenly flood his head and, because of their strange connection by the bond of their soul, she could catch a glimpse of his memory too.

 

“I believe you felt it too, huh?” Bruce asked as he noticed Natasha entering the Captain’s bedroom. “Must be weird for you but don’t worry, you will get used to it.”

“There’s nothing more weird than the fact god decided to make Captain America my soulmate.” Natasha replied, her eyes fixed on the man who was sleeping on the bed. “Did you have any experience like this with yours?”

“A little. Good thing is Betty and I figured everything out rather quickly but I guess I cannot say the same for you in your case.”

“I know. He took it pretty hard when he realized he saw color again and I am the one who made that happen.” Nat took a deep breath, “To be honest, it was like he didn’t want me or anything, like he already found his soulmate.”

“Nonsense, Natasha. What happened to you and him was classified as soulmate. There was only one person who can make you see color again in that instant of the situation.”

 

Natasha didn’t reply and Bruce knew something must have been going on inside her head but the doctor had known her for some time now. Natasha would tell him when she’s ready.

 

“I’m glad, you know? To have finally found someone to make me see color again and that he would love me as I am. But judging by his reaction.”

“He needs time, Natasha. He just found out everything from his past is now gone. It shook him and we have to be the ones to put him back together. YOU have to be the one to do that, as his soulmate, you can reach out to him better than any of us.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Steve finally woke up again after a very long sleep. It was 10 AM the next day. He never ever woke up this late before in his life. Everything that happened yesterday shook him to the ground.

 

“Greetings, Captain.” JARVIS sounded “Hope you are feeling better.”

“Yes, I am. Thank you.”

“The other Avengers are in the living area, sir.”

“Do they have any clothes for me in the closet?”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Steve slowly got up from his bed. It was a softer bed than he had ever slept in in the past. The world still spinning around his feet as he slowly made his way to the closet. When he opened the door, he found another room, a walk-in closet. He was stunned for half a minute.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Stark wasn’t sure which type of clothes you like so they only put the simple ones inside for you.”

 

Steve opened the first closet to find a bunch of shirts in various colors that he still couldn’t identify all the shade of, slacks, jeans, sweats, and most of the things that likely cover what he would have worn.

 

Then he found his old army uniform and some of his old clothes stored in the closet next to the first one. It brought back some good old memories and had Steve sitting there and staring at them for a good half an hour.

 

Sometimes it was really hard to let go of your past and move on.

 

He sat there until JARVIS called him quietly and brought him back to reality.

 

“Captain, are you alright, sir?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just thought about the old day.”

 

Steve pulled a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt out and headed for the bathroom. JARVIS guided him through the sophisticated system and how to operate the hot shower correctly. Steve was secretly thankful for the assistance of JARVIS or he might die because of this complicated shower.

 

When he stepped out, he hadn’t noticed there was someone inside his room until her voice startled him.

 

“You looks great in modern clothes, I must say.”

 

Steve turned to her and saw the red headed woman sitting comfortably on his bed like it was her own room. Steve frowned when he saw her but didn’t say anything in reply.

 

“I came to see that you’re doing fine.” Natasha told.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

 

That’s all he said and walked toward the closet.

 

“What was on your mind yesterday before you passed out?”

He stopped dead in his tracks before he replied coldly, “It’s none of your business.”

“I can sense it too, you know? Those memories briefly flashing inside my head.” Natasha said “I’m your soulmate.”

“No, you are not my soulmate. I don’t even know you.”

 

He didn’t say anything anymore and headed for the elevator. He needed to stay away from this woman. He didn’t even like her and her confidence and the fact that she took him down so easily and said that she was his soulmate.

 

But Natasha followed him into the elevator. They stared at one another until they reached the living area. Steve broke the eye contact first and stepped outside.

 

“Hey, cap!” Clint greeted from the giant television.

“Finally woke up, old man.” Tony paused the video game and turned to the new arrival.

“Morning guys.” 

 

Steve was a bit paranoid by all these people who were being way too nice to be true for him. Pepper sat him down at the kitchen island and made him breakfast. Natasha just casually leaned herself against the counter and watched him.

 

The other members quickly gathered around Steve and it spooked the captain a little. He barely knew one of them but they took him in like he was one of their own.

 

Thor sat down next to Steve and devoured his giant plate of pop tarts. Tony was just sipping his coffee and stuck close to his coffee machine. Bruce was making himself tea and waffles. Clint, the weirdest man in Steve’s mind, camped on top of the fridge with a bag of potato chips.

 

“Don’t mind him.” Bruce said, “He has always done that.”

“I’m seeing better from a distance, cap.” Hawkeye replied “It’s what I do.”

 

Everybody enjoyed the quiet breakfast and as soon as the last one of them finished. They moved to the couch. Steve knew something was about to come up and he quickly put his guard up.

 

“So captain.” Bruce spoke up, “As I am the one who is in charge with the responsibility of the Avengers’ health in both physical and mental departments. I have to ask you about what happened yesterday.” The doctor said “Specifically, the moment before you began to see the color.”

 

They wanted to know about this soulmate thing, Steve thought in his mind.

 

“Why do you want to know?”

“We need to know because it was directly related to one of our member and we have to assess this situation carefully.” Tony replied “She was now bond with you as your soulmate so it might be some problem in working on the field or when we sent her off for a mission.”

“Why can’t you send her on the mission?”

“Because…” Bruce tried to find the right words. “As she is now tied up with you, she will feel pain every time you are away from her for more than a specific distance. That’s why we need to clarify something before we decide to take the next step.”

“We want to know what happened yesterday, cap.” Tony said. “She already told us but now we need to know your side too.”

Steve took a deep breath, “Okay, so I was waking up in the room which was a set up to make it look like I was waking up in my time. I threw two agents through the wall and began to run. Hawkeye shot me with his tangled arrow and she took me down. It was black and white when I first woke up and then I saw her, looked her in the eyes and that’s when I noticed her eyes were green.”

 

Bruce and Tony looked at one another

 

“I don’t know why I see color again…” Steve mumbled and buried his face in his hands, “There must be some mistake.”

 

Nat felt her heart tightening painfully when she heard Steve say those words. Her soulmate doesn’t want her, her random thoughts sounded and it was the most painful thing to think about.

 

“Because she is your soul mate.” Tony concluded.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you! She’s not my soulmate.” Steve suddenly raised his voice. Eyes and face filled with confusion and denial, “I already met my soul mate. It cannot be her. Tell me that you’re lying, ma’am.”

 

Everyone’s eyes widened at the captain’s answer because it wasn’t possible for someone to have two soulmates.

 

“Who is your soul mate?” Natasha asked

“Her name is Peggy Carter.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse  
> -Proof read again by captain-romanogers


	4. The Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 25 JUL 2015

**4 : The Confusion**

 

“Are you kidding me?” Tony exclaimed. “Nobody has two soulmates.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say. She’s not my soulmate because I’ve already found mine.” Steve yelled.

“Then what could be an explanation for why I saw the fucking color again after I met you, Rogers.” Natasha’s voice had gone cold. She didn’t want to be the only one to get hurt by those cruel words especially the cruel words from her ‘soulmate’. She had to bring this asshole down with her too.

 

Steve’s face contorted in pain for a second. He stared at her and he knew he didn’t want to accept the truth. The woman in front of him wasn’t his soulmate. He didn’t even know her. For god’s sake, he didn’t even remember her name.

 

“This is more complicated than I can handle, Tony.” Bruce told

“Doc, you gatta know what this is!” Steve said.

“JARVIS, get us Director Fury and inform him about our current complicated situation.” Tony told the AI.

 

Tony couldn’t solve this mystery either. All he could pray for was that Fury would find a fast solution to this before Natasha and Captain America decided to rip each other’s head off.

 

The billionaire could clearly sense the hostility between them. Steve was in denial over everything that had happened while Natasha looked like she wanted this shit to be over as soon as possible.

 

Well, they were all in one hell of a ride from now on.

 

* * *

 

 

Fury’s solution was a pretty dumb ass move in Tony’s opinion. The director sent a specialist over to the tower and arranged a therapy session for the captain and the widow. He said the specialist was someone who had witnessed the phenomenon of soulmates at first hand and had studied in this area for years.

 

“I don’t need a therapy session.” They both said at the same time when Bruce informed them.

“You guys need this. It is the only way to solve this mystery. Otherwise, we have to ground both of you until we have figured out the best way not to send you to your death because you’ve been away from your soulmate for too long.” Bruce replied. The doctor was a bit irritated by the stubbornness of the two heroes.

“She’s not my soulmate.” Steve still insisted the same answer.

 

Natasha sighed and turned away because Steve Rogers was pissing her off right now. They barely talked and that had resulted in the fact that they hadn’t learnt anything about each other yet. All Natasha got was the impression that he was cold, rude and maybe a little cruel for rejecting the fact that she was really his soulmate.

 

It hurt her but he didn’t seem to care.

 

“Please, Cap.” Bruce asked nicely and Steve stepped inside the room where the therapist was waiting without waiting for Natasha. “Natasha, please do this. I don’t want to ground you inside the tower either.”

 

Natasha pouted at the doctor before entering the room too. She sat down on the armchair next to Steve with the therapist in front of them. Natasha knew her. She was Dr. Samantha White and Natasha seeked her out for some advice sometime ago. She’s a good woman.

 

“So I heard you two have a problem with adjusting to your soulmate.” The doctor inquired.

“She’s not my soulmate! Why isn’t anyone listening to me?”

“Stop saying that!” Nat yelled back because she hated to feel the physical pain every time he was saying all those things like she wasn’t there. “What is wrong with you with accepting reality? That the past of you is all gone?”

“Because I don’t want to admit it!”

 

The two of them looked like they were about to kill each other and Dr. White had to stop them.

 

“Take a deep breath.” She said “And try to focus.”

 

Steve did as the doctor told while Nat just sighed and leaned back into her chair. Her eyes fixed at the doctor while she took some notes on her clipboard.

 

“Captain Rogers, I can sense that you’re a bit frustrated.”

“Yes, doc. I am frustrated because I was supposed to die, not to have a chance to live again or to walk this earth again when I decided to leave my soulmate behind and let her face all the pain to save this world!”

 

It was the moment of pure pain and anger and survivor’s guilt and it hit both women at the same time. For the doctor, she could clearly see that Steve was mentally unstable and was compromised by his old flashbacks and the guilt he carried on his shoulders. For Natasha, she felt the same pain because she experienced the same thing. She should have died so many times.

 

“How can you be so sure that the woman you left behind was your soulmate?” Dr. White calmly asked.

“I saw the color again because of her.”

“Please tell me the whole story. Since you first met her.”

 

Nat was intrigued about this too. She wanted to hear why Captain America couldn’t let go of this woman. The woman he so believed she was his soulmate.

Steve inhaled deeply before he started, “As you may know I was just a little guy with all the asthma and stuff that made me not qualified to enlist. Dr. Erskine met me at the fair and accepted me into the super soldier program. That was when I first met her, Agent Peggy Carter of the SSR.”

“Did you see the color right away?”

“No, I knew her for some time before I saw the color again when I lost my best friend and she found me at the destroyed bar in London.”

“Captain, you may not like what you are about to hear but Peggy Carter wasn’t your soulmate.” Dr. White said.

“What?” Steve asked. Eyebrows frowned “How could that be? I saw color again, doc.”

“What happened between you and her is qualified as ‘lifemate’, captain. Not a ‘soulmate’.” Dr. White explained. “You and her didn’t see the color right away but instead you two saw color again after you experienced a certain situation together.”

“It cannot be.” Steve denied. He wanted to deny the truth and stay with his old believes.

He didn’t want this woman. He didn’t even know her. She seemed like a person who keeps all her secrets, who lies and manipulates, Steve fell into his deep thoughts again. Natasha could sense his mistrust toward her and she felt the need to make her point very clear.

“It’s my job to lie and manipulate people, Rogers.” She said and made Steve startled. “I’m a spy.”

Dr. White observed their reactions and everything pointed out to the only answer.

 

“Captain, Natasha is really your soulmate. Everything already pointed out that way. The way you two saw color again after you looked into each other’s eyes for the first time, the way you two felt pain when you were away from one another, the way Natasha could sense your current emotions and how she could see a glimpse of your memories.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“For fuck’s sake, Rogers! It’s not that hard to figure out!” Natasha yelled in frustration.

“I experienced the phenomenon first handed, Captain.” Dr. White replied “My husband and I met when I first joined SHIELD and the moment we saw color again is also the moment we started to bond our soul together. A Soulmate is something deeper than a lifemate could have or share.”

 

Steve was in silence for two minutes and tried to let everything sink in.

 

“You may believe all you want, Captain but this isn’t something you can fight or ignore without hurting your soulmate.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The session ended better than everyone expected. At least there was no blood bath or Natasha already reduced Steve into ashes. Dr. White informed Director Fury that they were not in any condition to work as they still needed time to adjust as soulmates. Another suggestion was that they had to help the Captain find peace with his past as soon as possible so he could move on and let Natasha in. The more he holds on to his past, the more it’s going to hurt Natasha.

 

Fury took her advice and grounded them inside the tower and ordered them to adjust as soon as possible. Fury knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task when two of the most stubborn people had to work together.

 

Fury had Hill deliver every file necessary for Steve so the captain could catch up with everything. Hill also told Natasha to help Steve with everything. Much to the spy’s dismay, she couldn’t stay away from Steve for, according to her experiment, more than 7 meters.

 

It sucks to have to stay close to someone you despise, not to mention helping him coping with the change of the world. Bruce said it was her duty, not as an Avenger or Agent of SHEILD, but as his soulmate.

 

The first day Steve dug into the mountain of files, they sat in silence most of the time. Nat kept her eyes fixed on him, to study him and to watch his every little tiny reaction. She needed to know how to break the ice with him which seemed too hard to do now.

 

Yeah, the Captain had a giant fucking wall of ice like the one in Clint's favorite TV show, Game of Thrones. Natasha hated it, too much blood, war, dead and deception. It was like she was watching her own life on that show.

 

Steve was now reading the files of his friends from the Howling Commandos. His face was blank but his eyes were filled with grief and guilt that Nat knew because he left them behind. The fucking survivor guilt.

 

"They are all gone." He mumbled, voice broken.

"It's the way of life, Rogers. They didn't have a super serum like you to live eternally."

"You don't know a thing." He replied.

"They lived their lives doing good things after you went under. They were founding members of SHIELD. They helped protect the world after you were gone. There is no need to be ashamed because you left them behind."

 

Steve didn't reply and got back to read the rest of the file. Natasha could feel everything. It stung her sometimes when all the feelings overwhelmed him. She wanted to reach out and help him through the pain but she couldn’t because he didn’t let her in.

 

He never let his guard down when he was around her.

* * *

 

 

Natasha was in the communication room at stark Tower trying to reach Fury but Hill told her that Fury was busy dealing with the World Security Council.

 

Fury contacted her again two hours later. He said he would stop by at the tower to see the progress the Avengers had made with the captain. Natasha warned him not to set his expectations too high because they were getting nowhere.

 

“What’s your urgent matter, Agent?” Fury asked as he entered the living area of the Avengers Tower.

“Sir, I request getting back in the field.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again. A bit concerned about her current situation with Captain America.

“Yes, sir. I’m sure. I don’t want to sit around doing nothing anymore.”

“Did Captain Rogers adjust yet?”

“He’s doing alright, sir. He seemed like he didn’t need any help from any of us.”

“Romanoff, I advised you to take this situation seriously.” Fury warned “It could be a life and dead situation if you are away from him.”

“How could it be a life and dead situation?”

 

Fury could see that his number one agent was so confident that she would take the pain from separation. The director knew everything about this too. He found his lifemate and it almost jeopardized the whole thing because he thought he could stay away from her without strengthening the bond between them first.

 

The only way to make Natasha realize the seriousness of this matter was to let her experience it first handed.

 

“If you insist.” He said. “Follow me”

 

Fury led Natasha to the quinjet. Everything went smoothly until Natasha flopped down on the floor and began to feel the pain growing stronger every inch she was further away from Steve.

 

“Damn it” The spy muttered. “Fuck…”

“Take us back to the tower!” Fury told the pilot before he turned back to Natasha “I told you.”

“I know but you know me.”

“Yeah, you are one stubborn woman.”

 

Fury took Natasha down to the living room where they found out Steve had reacted the same way as the spy.

 

“I do believe that this makes my point very clear for you two to stay together.”

 

They both nodded but didn’t even look at one another.

 

* * *

 

Everyone else on the team was trying to help Steve back on track as fast as he can. Tony spent his time teaching the good captain how to operate the latest daily technology like a Starkphone and a laptop. Steve picked everything up very fast, thanks to his enhanced memory.

 

He always watched Bruce and Tony working in their labs or he would sit quietly in the corner reading old files. He also picked up some of the things that the two geniuses exchanged with one another about science. 

 

Thor helped him get back in shape by sparring with him. The god of Thunder was the only one who could handle the captain’s strength while Clint taught him how to use the modern and sophisticated weapons.

 

“Cap, you’re a natural.” Clint praised when Steve could use every single firearm correctly.

“Thanks.” The Captain said “But I think I cannot become better than you in sharpshooting.”

“That’s why they call me Hawkeye.”

 

Steve began to feel a little relaxed when he was finally okay with being around them. He found that they were all genuinely friendly and welcomed him as part of their team and family.

 

The only one Steve was trying to avoid was Natasha. She always put him in a bad mood and he also didn’t quite accept the fact that she was his soulmate.

 

Why? Because he didn’t even know her. Because he had already fallen in love with someone else. They’ve been through thick and thin together, they fought together. She saw him as who he really was, the skinny kids who wanted to join the Army and protected people. Peggy saw the real him.

 

On the other hand, He didn’t know Natasha and what gave her the right to claim herself as his soulmate. He didn’t want to spend his life with her. He didn’t want her.

 

He kept his distance from her, locked himself inside his bedroom and read all those files. He could sense her presence, it must have something to do with all the soulmate things. She snuck onto his floor, just lounging around his living room like it was her own place.

 

He would let her do that if she didn’t bother him.

 

He read most of the files. Until he decided to open the last one. The file about Peggy. He wasn’t sure what he would discover. He just had the courage to do it today.

 

The first page in the file was the summary of her dossier. She didn’t have a big ‘DECEASE’ stamped on her dossier. His heart lifted up with that fact, she’s still alive!

 

He was looking for her address or a phone number to make contact but it didn’t appear in the file. The only way he would find out about this was to ask someone.

 

Someone who knew all the information.

 

He stepped outside of his room and found Natasha watching some random TV show on his couch. He stood in front of her and looked down at the spy.

 

“She’s still alive.” He said “Why didn’t you tell me? You knew about this, right?”

“I don’t know anything about her.” Natasha casually replied “Why would I be interested in a retired old woman from the past?”

 

Steve grabbed her arms and pulled her up on her feet, he squeezed her arms too hard which made her wince a little.

 

“Stop lying!”

“I only act like I know everything, Rogers.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can tell you one thing, that she’s in DC.”

“Just find the information for me. You’re the spy.”

“You can’t give me orders.”

“Fine! I will just do it my way then.”

“Cool with me!”

 

Steve let go of Natasha and stomped back into his room. He gathered everything in his duffle bag and went out of his floor. Natasha quickly followed behind.

 

“Where the hell do you think you are going?” She asked.

“DC.”

“Are you crazy?”

“I have to find her and I don’t need your approval.”

 

They reached the garage and Steve went to his motorcycle. He took off without saying a word to Natasha. Nat had to run after him because she knew the pain would kill her for sure if he went further than a specific range. Steve was disappearing from her line of sight and she fell to the ground as she felt like thousands of knives stabbed into her body.

 

“Damn it, Rogers.” She muttered while she dialed his number.

“What do you want?” He harshly asked.

“Come back here, you asshole.” She replied with the same level of hatred “Come back and pick me up!  I have to go with you too!”

“I don’t want you with me.”

“Damn it! Don’t you feel the pain?”

“Yeah, I do! But I can handle it. I don’t want you in DC with me.”

 

Nat screamed with pure pain. People walking on the street looked at her but they couldn’t help. It wasn’t normal pain that they could just call the hospital but it was the pain that was caused by the soulmate.

 

 _Fuck! She hate_ _s_ _this shit_. To be more specific, she hated him as much as he hated her.

 

“Just come back and pick me up, please.” She begged because it was all too much for her right now.

 

Fuck, and now he broke her first. Steve Fucking Rogers, the good old Captain America reduced the famous Black Widow into begging. FUCK!

 

“Fine, I will pick you up at the tower.” With that Steve hung up.

 

Natasha slowly got up and walked back to the tower. Pain was subsiding as she felt Steve’s presence. He didn’t say anything and she got up on the bike with him and headed to DC.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse, captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review. It will be more angst and drama. Please hang on with me, okay?


	5. The Old Flame

**5 : The Old Flame**

They reached DC in the evening and Steve had to wake the woman that sat behind him. She had held him tight from behind and had rested her head on his back the whole way.

 

“Wake up!” He called loudly and shook her arm. “We arrived at DC.”

 

Steve heard a soft yawn from his back and the spy slowly put her arms away from his waist.

 

“Where are we?”

“Hotel. We are gonna stay here.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have an apartment just a couple blocks away.”

“Yeah, you can sleep there. I will stay here.”

“Which part of pain do you not understand, Rogers? We cannot be away from one another.”

“Then why do I barely feel a thing except for that I don’t want to be anywhere near you.” He shot back.

“I don’t know. I can’t fucking explain it either. It just happened. Look, I don’t want to be anywhere near you either.”

Steve sighed, “Fine, lead the way.”

 

They arrived at her apartment five minutes later. She opened the door to her beautiful and organized duplex apartment.

 

“There’s a spare room upstairs to your left or you can sleep in the same room with me if you want.” She couldn’t resist the urge to tease him.

 

Steve rolled his eyes and headed upstairs to settle himself in. He went down to the kitchen to find Natasha making them dinner.

 

“Hope you don’t mind. I cooked us something.”

“Yeah, it’s okay. Just don’t put poison in it though.”

 

Steve sat down and watched as Natasha was cooking something simple for both of them. Mac and Cheese to be precise. It did smelled good though. He never thought that a woman like her could cook.

 

Natasha sat a plate down in front of him before she sat on the counter because she knew he didn’t like her to be too close to him.

 

“What you gonna do tomorrow?” She asked to help ease the silent tension between them.

“Visit my old friends’ grave at Arlington.” He replied

“Then?”

“Maybe visiting Peggy but I don’t know where she is.”

 

He looked like a lost puppy when he said those words and Nat couldn’t help but grin. This was the first time Steve let his guard down around her. She couldn’t pin down that he finally opened up to her or not but at least he talked to her.

 

“Maybe I can hack into SHIELD.” She suggested.

“Are you crazy? Ain’t you gonna get fired?”

“Nah, Fury wouldn’t dare fire me because he knows how lethal I am. To be fair, it was just a harmless hack. Just to find some information about the retired agent of SHIELD because Captain America wants to see her.”

Steve narrows his eyes at her mocking, “If you’re comfortable with doing it, I’m fine with that.”

 

Nat put her plate down and opened her laptop. Steve moved to stand behind her as she did her trick.

 

“Are you sure you’re not gonna trigger the alarm?”

“The man who developed this security/technology is slightly smarter than me.” She replied with a smirk on her face “Slightly.” She typed in quickly and disabled the security before gaining access to the archive, “Besides, cap. I’m the Black Widow.”

 

Steve let out a soft huff as if he was trying to contain his laughter. Nat inwardly smiled as she could slightly break the ice with the Captain.

 

“What’s her name?”

“Margaret Carter”

 

Natasha typed in and the file came up. They both read it in silence before Nat printed the address out for him.

 

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“You better get some rest, Rogers. You got a long day ahead.”

“You too.”

 

That’s all he said before he headed to his room.

 

* * *

 

Natasha woke up to the bright sun light outside her window. She could sense something was wrong with her apartment and kept still to better listen to the environment around her.

 

There was someone else in the apartment, she thought, then she could smell pancakes and bacon. Steve must’ve woken up by now.

 

She slowly got up from her bed and put the robe on over her sleepwear. When she entered the kitchen, she saw Steve preparing their breakfast.

 

“Morning” She greeted.

“You slept in.” He noted “You don’t look like the kind of person who sleeps in.”

“Yeah, I tend to do it when I have my free time.” Natasha replied “You cook breakfast, huh?”

“Last night you cooked me something nice and now it’s my turn.”

“Don’t slip some poison in, okay?”

“Already did that.” He replied as he placed the plate in front of her.

 

They had a very quiet meal because Steve was clearly not the one who would initiate the talk first. Natasha wasn’t in the mood to play him like she always does. 

 

“I will leave for Arlington in an hour if that’s okay with you.” He said.

“Okay, I will be ready in twenty minutes.”

 

Steve sat down and waited for Natasha to take a shower and dress up. She showed up again in exactly twenty minutes. Steve stared at her curiously.

 

“What?” She asked, a little annoyed.

“You are not wearing any make up.” He noted

“I’m glad that you notice _something_ about me, Rogers.” She shot back and it earned her a daggering glare from him.

He sighed “Let’s go”

“We will take my car today.”

 

Steve didn’t want to banter with her anymore so he just agreed with whatever she wanted. Natasha led him to the garage nearby and revealed her beautiful slick black Corvette.

 

“Nice car”

 

Natasha just gave him a sly smile and got inside the car. Steve sat down in the passenger seat and suddenly he was well aware of how close they were in this confined space of the sport car.

 

They sat quietly until they arrived at the Cemetery. Steve asked the way to his Howling Commandos’ graves and the man took him right away to the statue dedicated to the entire team and him.

 

“The world doesn’t realize that I’m not dead yet, right?” Steve spoke up

“Fury thought it would be better if you remain incognito.”

“Yeah, the world doesn’t need me to protect them anymore when they got you guys.” He sounded so bitter that Natasha wanted to hug him.

 

But instead she gently put her hand on his shoulder. It surprised her that he didn’t shrug it away.

 

“Don’t think that way, Steve.” This was the first time she used his first name. “The world still needs you. To be honest, we kinda messed it up and we have to clean everything up back in New York.”

“I thought I sacrificed everything because I was gonna die but no, god decided to keep me frozen to be found in the next 70 years when everyone I knew was gone.”

 

Why did does she feel like he doesn’t want to live anymore? The man kinda gave her the sense that he doesn’t have a purpose to live for again.

 

He gently brushed her hand away and walked away to the marble stone engraved with his teammates’ name. 

Steven Grant Rogers, James Buchanan Barnes, Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan, Jim Morita, Montgomery Falsworth, Gabriel Jones, and Jacques Dernier.

 

They were all gone.

 

Steve stood still and not moving until he saw a family approaching them.

 

“Is great grandpa rested here, Antoine?” One little kid asked her big brother.

“Yeah, great grandpa rests here alongside his friends.”

“Did he really work with Captain America?” 

“Sure, he worked closely with Cap. He never stopped telling me about the great Captain America”

 

That was what he should have with Peggy after the war, grow old together, and watch their grandkids running around the front lawn. He should have that life.

 

Natasha saw that Steve began to tremble as he turned his face away from the family. He could see that the tall guy named Antoine bared resemble of Gabe Jones. Steve decided to walk away with Natasha following closely behind.

 

“Let’s go home, Steve. You are too emotionally compromise today.”

 

Steve complied, knowing that she was right.

 

* * *

 

 

After Natasha witnessed the Captain almost break down in front of her for the first time. She felt the need to check up on him all night to make sure he got enough sleep and wasn’t plagued by a terrible nightmare of his past.

 

All she could see was Steve shaking in his dream but when she put her hand on his arm, he stopped. 

 

She knew she was being too nice with him considering how rude he had been to her the past week but maybe it was her ability to understand his fear and pain that made her a little more patient toward him.

 

They had more similarities than she would like to admit.

 

She woke up earlier than him the next day and prepared him some breakfast. She got a message from Hill about hacking into SHIELD. Fury didn’t like it but Natasha told him it was for a good cause and for helping the Captain ‘make peace’ with his past.

 

Hill and Fury let it slide only this time and the Director demanded to know their every move from now on.

 

She heard footsteps from the stairs and Steve emerged. His golden locks were tousled and he looked like he didn’t get enough sleep. He looked like he had been through hell.

 

“You alright?” She asked.

“No” 

“Want to tell me about it?”

“No”

“Fine. Suit yourself.” 

 

Nat finished with her cooking and placed a plate in front of Steve. They ate in silence again but this time, Steve spoke up first.

 

“How will she react when she sees me?” He asked “After all of this, I’m still alive and young while she must be like 95 years old.”

“She will be glad that you’re still alive, Steve.”

“But I left her. I chose the world rather than her.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You were doing the right thing. I read your file too, Steve. If you didn’t do what you did, she might have to died too. You saved her and millions of other lifes.”

“Maybe this was a mistake, coming here to see her.”

“You need this. You need closure for this so you can move on.”

 

Move on to what? Steve silently thought to himself. Seriously, he had nothing left to be called his. Everything was gone. The life as he knows it was changed way too much, he couldn’t cope with it.

 

Steve swiftly got up from his seat.

 

“I will go see her.”

 

Natasha could only nod and go with him. They stopped at the flower shop to buy Peggy a beautiful vase of flowers (Nat’s suggestion and weirdly enough, Steve followed what she suggested). She drove him to the retirement home and told him she would wait outside.

 

“Good luck” She told.

 

Steve took a deep breath and stepped inside the building. He told the receptionist he wanted to see Peggy Carter and she led him to the room. Steve tried to think of what he would say to her. How she would react and everything seemed to make him confused even more.

 

Then he felt someone in the back of his mind. He knew it was Natasha trying to calm his nerves. He didn’t know why but she seemed to be able to sense his emotions better than anyone even when they have only known each other for a week and a half.

 

“Agent Carter, there’s someone here who wants to see you.” The nurse told her before she slowly retreated out of the room to give them some privacy.

 

Peggy turned to the man standing at the door and her eyes widened.

 

“Steve…” She weakly called out his name like she wasn’t sure about his presence. “Is that really you?”

 

Steve rushed to her side as she called him and gently grabbed her hand in his.

“Steve. You're alive. You came back.”

“Yeah, Peggy.” He replied with a soft smile on his face.  “Yes, it’s me, Peggy.” 

“It’s been so long…so long” Her voice sounded as if she was about to break down and cry. 

“Well, I couldn't leave my best girl.” He said “Not when she owes me a dance.”

 

* * *

 

They spent all day catching up, talking about everything. Sometime Steve watched her sleep because she was tired. He sat there next to her, didn’t move as he promised to her that he would not leave her again.

 

It felt right for the first time after he woke up in this century. Peggy was the last thing connecting him with his past and present. The only person who made the waking up in this century feel right. Even though she was physically old and she didn’t look the same, the same spirit was still intact. 

 

He would hold on to her as long as he could. He knew he was about to lose his mind very soon. It was all too much at the same time. With everything flooding his mind, emotions and memory, he felt like he was about to explode. He couldn’t control himself.

 

Then they reminisced about the good old days. Steve remembered it as if it had happened yesterday.

 

He remembered everything very clearly and vividly. It was one of the side effects of the serum. It enhanced his memory and his mind turned into a hologram projector. He sometimes saw his old memories playing when they were triggered by places or objects.

After Dr. Erskine told him he would become a soldier and a candidate for the special program known as ‘The Super Soldier Program’. He followed the doctor to Camp Leigh.

 

It was the place he met Peggy Carter for the first time. He liked her a lot when she punched that douche bag Gilmore Hodges. She was a strong, smart and intelligent woman. Not to mention she was very beautiful and the English accent did really suit her.

 

Even though everything was in black and white, he could see how beautiful and kind she was. To be honest, she was one of the very few people who saw him for who he really was and ignored that fact. 

 

Even when he turned into Captain America, the perfect human being, she still saw him as skinny Steve. She saw him for who he really was.

 

They’ve been through a lot of things together. Since the time he went behind the enemy line to find Bucky and rescue hundreds of men. 

 

“What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?” She asked as he prepared to leave for the search of his friend.

“If that's what it takes.” Steve shortly replied.

“You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead.”

“You don't know that.”

“Even so, he's devising a strategy to take”

“By the time he's done that, it could be too late!”

 

Steve turned to her and looked into her eyes.

 

“You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

“Every word.”

“Then you gotta let me go.”

“I can do more than that.”

 

It ended up with Peggy getting Howard to fly him into the enemy’s air space. He got a little jealous when Howard did suggest something to do with Peggy after they dropped him off. Right then Steve knew this wasn’t any fling or something. He did feel something for her.

 

He rescued the prisoners and his best friend. Colonel Phillips finally granted him a place in the battlefield with his hand-picked team to take out HYDRA’s secret factories. Peggy and Howard continued to aid them. The Howling commandos were born and quickly earned their stride.

 

But then the tragedy hit them all when Bucky Barnes fell from the train and presumed dead. Steve was drowning in his misery and guilt and sitting alone in a destroyed bar in London.

 

Peggy was the one who found him. Of course, she would have found him. She knew him too well. This bar was the last place he and Bucky hung out at before the Howling Commandos went on a mission.

 

Steve sat alone and poured himself a drink.

 

“Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just effect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um...I can't get drunk. Did you know that?”

“Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects.”

 

Peggy sat down across him and took a long look at the sorrowful captain.

 

“It wasn't your fault.” She said.

“Did you read the reports?”

“Yes”

“Then you know that's not true.”

“You did everything you could. Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?”

 

Steve looked at her as if to say yes

 

“Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it.”

“I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured.

You won't be alone.”

 

In the most hopeless time, there was still hope. When Peggy Carter reached her hand out and took his hand in hers, gently rubbed it as if she was trying to console him, tried to pass him the strength to carry on.

 

Then Steve realized, he saw color again when he looked up at her. Her long brown curls that he had wondered all along the color of it. Her beautiful hazel eyes sparkled even in the dim light. Her lips were red just as he always suspected.

 

“I see color again.” He spoke up out of shock.

From the facial expression, he knew she just realized it like him, “Your eyes are blue.” She said and she made Steve chuckle a little.

 

Peggy did help him get back on his feet. For the first time in his life, he saw color again. She was his soulmate and he felt a little bit better with her trying to help him get over his guilt. 

 

Then the final mission came, the last assault on HYDRA and the Red Skull. Steve took control of the plane and determined to clash it down into the water. He didn’t regret his decision. His only regret was that he didn’t have a chance to live happily ever after with his soulmate.

 

He didn’t have a chance to say he loved her either. Everything went down so fast and the last conversation they had easily brought everyone to tears.

 

“Peggy?”

“I'm here.”

“I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance.”

“Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club.”

“You got it.”

“Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late! Understood?”

“You know, I still don't know how to dance.”

“I'll show you how. Just be there.”

“You'll have the band play somethin' slow. I'd hate to step on your…”

 

At least, he died with color in his eyes, not the world of black and white. Steve slowly closed his eyes as the water consumed and succumbed him into its coldest abyss.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The dance…” Peggy said tiredly before coughing. 

 

Steve quickly got up and poured her some water. 

 

“I still owe you a dance.” She continued with a sadness hinted in her voice, “Look at me. I’m old, barely have any strength left to get up from this bed.”

He smiled fondly at her, “You’re still my best girl.” Steve reminded her and held her hand gently. “And you know I can carry you if you want.”

“Some other time then.” Peggy said “I’m tired.”

 

Steve got up to pull a blanket over her and leaned down to kiss her on her forehead.

 

“I’m glad that you are still alive, Steve.” She said “Even if we can’t have happily ever after together.”

“We can now.”

 

Peggy smiled and looked like she was about to reply something but tiredness took over her and she slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse  
> \- Beta read by captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	6. The Shackle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: 20 JUL 2015

This wasn't a good day for Natasha at all. She ended up sitting alone in her car all day at the parking lot of the retirement home. She had to be here because her 'soulmate' wanted to see 'the love of his life'.

She hated this. She fucking hated all of this. Why was she the only one who had to feel all the pain he caused to her? Why wasn't he feeling as much pain as she did? This is unfair.

Well, the world wasn't a place for justice and fairness anyway. Maybe this was what she deserved considering her old life. Maybe this was how god wanted her to learn the pain she had caused to someone.

 _Yeah, you deserve it, Romanoff_ , Nat bitterly thought to herself. She must have taken someone else's soulmate's life too and the pain and grieve she caused to them must have been too much. Yep, karma bit her back in the ass.

Maybe she doesn't deserve someone like Captain America, the man who sacrificed everything to save thousands of lives, not taking it like she does.

But she got to say this was the first time she could sense Steve being happy after he was out of the ice, like truly happy. The man who supposed to be her soulmate was happy by being with another woman.

Why did he love that woman so much? Nat could understand that they had a connection and shared life experience but god from high above said otherwise, god gave her the man who doesn't love her at all.

Steve came out again when the sun almost set, looking as happy as he could be.

"How was it?"

"Good." That's all he replied.

"You don't mind if we go out for a good dinner tonight, right?" Nat asked "There is a very good Italian restaurant on our way home."

"Whatever you say."

Their conversation was short as always. Nat could feel the sense of honesty in his answer every time. He didn't bother to lie to her. That's what hit her the most. He hated her enough to the point that he didn't even care to lie to make her feel better.

They were at said restaurant in five minutes and Nat led both of them in.

"Table for two please" Nat said to the host.

"A lovely couple should have the best table in the house." The host said in his Italian accent.

"We are…." Steve was about to protest but Nat quickly elbowed him and said, "Yes, we are. It's our anniversary."

The host congratulated them before he led them to the table, lit up the candle and gave them the menu.

"Why did you tell him that?" Steve asked with gritted teeth.

"It would end the conversation faster." She replied "Besides, this is our second week anniversary."

Steve scoffed, "Go ahead and celebrate it by yourself."

He rejected her again. Nat started to get used to it. They looked at the menu in silence until the waiter came by to take their order. Natasha ordered her favorite meat lasagna, salad, and spaghetti while Steve ordered soup, risotto, and pizza.

"We can talk, you know?" Nat spoke up "So we can at least understand each other."

He sighed annoyingly, "Fine"

"Why is she so important that you don't want to let go?"

"Because she is the only person I love." From the look in his eyes, Nat knew he was speaking the truth and it hurt her again, "She's the only thing that is related to me in this new era. I will hang on to her."

Nat tried to ignore the pain inside her chest and concealed it under her cold facade, "Maybe you have to move on, Rogers. She's not gonna live forever and you know that."

"You don't know a thing."

"You can't have happily ever after with her."

"Stop it"

"When she dies, the bond will break and you will realize that you don't belong to her."

"Stop it!" He raised his voice and Nat did stop. She never heard him use his commanding tone before. "This conversation is over."

They ended up arguing and yelling at each other again. Nat hated it when her life had to depend on someone. She couldn't run from this soulmate thing. She couldn't be away from him.

She shouldn't have wished to see the color. She shouldn't have wished to find her soulmate as it turned out she got the biggest asshole in the world to be her soulmate.

* * *

They didn't utter a single word to each other on the way back to her apartment. Their dinner date was a total disaster. The waiter tried to get them on the dance floor but if the look Steve gave the waiter could kill, he would have reduced the guy into ashes.

They went their separate ways. Steve locked himself inside his bedroom while Nat was lounging around on the sofa and tried to focus on the TV show.

She sensed his appearance but didn't turn to acknowledge. He silently moved into the kitchen to get some water.

Before Nat could stop herself, she spoke up.

"Wanna watch Gossip Girl with me?"

To her surprise, he slowly moved toward her and sat down next to her but he didn't say a thing.

"You might have a little culture shock since the world has changed so much from your era."

"I think I can handle it." Steve replied

That was the ended of the conversation. She watched his reaction closely when he saw each scene of the current episode. He frowned every time when something he didn't like showed up.

"They are just high school students, am I correct?" He asked

"Yes, they are."

"Why would they do such awful things at this age? This shouldn't happen with the people at their age."

"They are the spoiled children of upper class people who have time for charity but not their children." Nat clarified

"That's awful." He said again, "I wouldn't do that to my mother. She worked very hard to support us both. Even if I was as rich as the character in the story, I wouldn't do those things."

"Who'd know? Maybe in another parallel universe, you are some spoiled upper class son of a rich man and woman. You could be a womanizer like Chuck Bass."

Steve actually chuckled a little. This was the first time he slightly let his guard down with her.

"I cannot imagine that. I'm terrible when I'm around woman."

To her surprise again, they had a peaceful conversation during the show. Nat tried to explain everything to Steve who just listened quietly. Nat wanted to get a little glimpse of him and she thought he let his guard down enough to finally tell her something about his past.

"Why do you keep visiting her?" The spy asked, hoping she would get a truthful answer from him.

Steve looked at her and Nat saw him tense up and sealed himself away from her again.

"Because I don't want to be with you."

He immediately got up from his seat and went upstairs. His words had cut deep inside her again and Nat could only deal with it by herself.

Captain America wasn't supposed to be this cruel. Why was it so hard for him to accept her? She tried very hard not to care or feel anything but the soulmate thing was weakening her emotionally. Yeah, it reduced the great Black Widow to the high school girl with a heartache.

She had only hoped to find someone who would love her and accept her from who she really was but she knew that was too much to ask. She had a deep dark past, the ghosts of her past still haunted her.

Maybe it was too good to be true that someone like her could have a happy ending, to have a soulmate.

She would stop day dreaming now.

* * *

They went back to the retirement home again the next day. Nat couldn't be more bored with this. She missed getting out in the field with the rest of the team and actually do something.

Anything is better than babysit Captain America.

"Hey, Clint." She called her best friend, hoping he was free to talk to her.

"Sup, girl!" He greeted back, "How did your thing with Captain America work out? Did you guys bang yet?"

"Clint, he hates me and I'm pretty sure that I hate him too."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Nat. He needs more time to adjust. You need time too."

"I don't need him, Clint."

"Say whatever you want. Bruce said it will get worse the longer you prolong this."

"I seriously don't know how to do this, Clint."

"You have to break him, the way you do with your marks."

"Clint, I don't think it will work."

"Nat, you need to be optimistic like when you believed you would meet your soulmate."

"And he hates me."  
"I will stop talking to you now since your life is full of misery." Clint said. "Hope to see you soon."

"Me too. Love you, Clint."

"Love you too."

They hung up and Nat went back to sitting around waiting for Steve.

* * *

Inside the building, Steve was sitting next to Peggy's bed while he talked to her like he always did.

"You should be proud of yourself, Peggy." He said as he looked at Peggy's family photos by her bedside table showing her with her husband and children.

"Mm. I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours."

Steve broke eye contact with Peggy and looked down to the floor. Peggy, knowing him all too well, asked,

"What is it?"

"For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It's just not the same." His voice filled with guilt and sadness, "I woke up, thought that I could live the life but I can't. I couldn't do it anymore."

Peggy chuckled, "You're always so dramatic. Look, you saved the world. We rather...mucked it up."

"You didn't. They told me you helped found SHIELD."

Peggy took Steve's hand, "Everything has changed, Steve. You have to move forward. I cannot go back, none of us can go back."

"Maybe I don't want to."

Steve told himself that she was his only soulmate. The only one that he will accept. Not some woman he just met. He didn't want to believe that Natasha Romanoff was his soulmate. Even the pain inside him kept reminding him that his bond with her was stronger than the one he had with Peggy.

He doesn't like it and he will try to find a way out of it so he can have the woman that he wants.

* * *

The day ended with Steve being happy and he had a big smile on his face when he came back to Nat's car. Nat observed him closely and noticed how peaceful he was. For a short moment, he had his emotional and mental stability back.

"Everything alright?" Nat asked as Steve opened the door and sat down next to her.

"Yeah."

They didn't attempt to have any conversation after that. Natasha took them straight back to her apartment because she learned that a dinner date will just turn into a total disaster.

But to her surprise again, Steve caught her off guard this time by offering his help on their dinner. They enjoyed their harmonious moment in silence except for the sound of their cooking.

Natasha knew better than to fall for this trap again. Every time, after what seemed to be a happy moment between them. They would ruin it. At least, this time they didn't ruin their dinner by throwing a tantrum and throwing insults at one another.

It was right after they put everything in the dishwasher and adjourned to the living room when her damn mouth couldn't keep it to herself.

"You should stop seeing her." She said out of nowhere and Natasha immediately pushed them back to hostile territory. "Maybe you should break that bond with her and start moving on with your life."

"No, I can't and it's none of your goddamn business."

"She's old! She will be dead by the blink of an eye. Why would you care so much?! She's not even your soulmate. You didn't even bond with her!"

"Even if she were already dead, she will always be in my heart."

"People die, memories do too. You'll forget her one day"

"No, I will not forget her. You didn't know me. If there is someone I will forget, that someone is you."

"You see, Rogers, I don't worry about you forgetting me, cause you won't. I just want you to remember me in your dreams, not your nightmares"

"I will not remember you in anyway. I will do anything to break this bond with you. You are not my soulmate."

"Rogers! You gotta learn to accept the truth that your soulmate is the perfect killing machine not so perfect Miss British with a fancy accent!"

"DO NOT SPEAK OF PEGGY LIKE YOU KNOW HER!" Steve bellowed and grabbed Natasha's throat as his sudden anger took control of him. "You have no right to speak of her."

Steve slammed her against the wall. Her toes were barely scratching the floor.

"Yeah, I have every fucking right! Why does my soulmate not even notice me? I just want you to notice me. I just need someone...and I thought that when I found you that someone would finally love me"

"How am I supposed to love you? I'm in love with someone else. I don't even know who you really are!"

"Because you don't even open up yourself and let me in. You are so blind by your love for the woman who will die very soon!"

She treated a very thin line here. She had been trying to manipulate, to challenge, to coax him to her own will. She had been trying to make him lose control and this time, she succeeded.

Steve squeezed his hand tighter to make her stop talking. Nat choked and tried to get some air into her longs but she can't. His super strength was too much to match. In his blinding anger, he had half a mind to end her life right there. A little more pressure would have snapped her neck in half.

"You cannot hurt me, Rogers. You know damn well you can't…"

He roared angrily and let go of Natasha as he felt that the pain stung inside him. He fucking hated it when she was right. Nat fell to the ground and coughed violently.

"Do not fucking talk about Peggy that way again." He growled "I'm not afraid of ending your life with my own hands."

He turned around and didn't even bother to check up on her.

"Stay the hell away from me. I'm warning you." He said "I don't need you. I don't want you."

Steve disappeared into his room while Nat sat in the exact same place. Her eyes began to tear up from the pain that he had caused her. She wasn't supposed to feel anything. She didn't love him but this was by far the most painful thing he had ever done to her.

He was willing to hurt her because he didn't care or give a damn about her, Nat found herself crying at the thought, she didn't know why it was so hard for him to accept her. Why it was so easy for him to hurt her in every way imaginable? It was like he wasn't her soulmate at all to do things this cruel to her.

Maybe die alone in black and white wasn't so bad when compared to her current situation.

Nat couldn't help but cry really hard. She cried herself to sleep on the couch.

* * *

Steve felt that something stung in his heart, squeezed his heart tight. He knew the cause, it was Natasha. He tried to get to sleep but the redhead woman haunted him when he closed his eyes. Her green eyes filled with pain and sadness when he unleashed all those cruel words on her.

Steve got up and went downstairs to find Natasha sleeping on the couch. He could see dry trails of tears on her cheeks. He shouldn't feel bad like this but he couldn't help it. Damn the Soulmate shit! He muttered.

He decided to pick her up from the couch and the moment she was in his arms, her head nestled at the crook of his neck. Some tender feeling touched his heart but he quickly shook it off. Steve gently carried her back to her room and put her in bed.

Blue eyes stared at her intently before he sighed and walked back to his room.

* * *

Nat began to stir and silently cursed to herself with all the swollen eyes as she barely opened them up. The Black Widow had cried herself to sleep. Great, she muttered, if someone knew about this, she would become a joke to the entire espionage world.

But then something hit her as she realized she wasn't lying on her couch but her bed and her body was entirely wrapped up in her comfy blanket.

How she end up here anyway?

Then Natasha turned her head and saw a breakfast trey on the table end. Coffee still warm and the food in the plate indicated that it had just been freshly made. Her eyes wandered to the small note written in a messy handwriting 'I'm sorry'

Nat didn't know why but she found that it was cute that he actually apologized to her for the first time even though he didn't say it to her directly. He made her breakfast in bed that should count for something.

Nat enjoyed her food and it was really good. Steve Rogers can cook better than her but there was something else too. He was very delicate with the decoration and how he had arranged the plate for her.

Who knew a cruel man like him could do this.

She got up from her bed to put everything in the sink and noticed that he was gone. He must be with his life-mate again and the thought pained her a little. Nat shrugged it off and thought about it carefully again. He couldn't have been too far away because she didn't feel the same pain she felt when he was leaving back at the tower.

Nat knew she would know if he was out of range.

The spy got up and quickly took a shower but when she went downstairs again. She found the last person she thought she would see.

"Agent Romanoff" Fury greeted.

"Boss." Nat replied, "What are you doing here?"  
"Checking out on you and Rogers." The man told her, "Are you two making any progress?"

"No"

"Has anything happened that I should know about?"

From the tone in his voice, she knew he must know something but she will lie anyway.

"Nah, nothing to be worried about."

"Romanoff, I know."

Nat sighed, "How do you know, sir? Did you send someone to watch over me?"

"JARVIS told Stark of the incident last night." Fury said. "JARVIS was installed into your Stark phone too so he knew everything."

"Right."

She will strangle Stark to force him to uninstall JARVIS from her phone when she gets back to New York.

"Did he hurt you?"

"He left some nice bruises." Nat replied and showed Fury the bruises on her neck.

"If things get out of hand again, we will put him back in the ice. We don't want to risk your life if you really aren't compatible."

"Yes, sir"

"But you must know, in order to put him back in there, you will be grounded inside the tower for the rest of your life."

"But at least, I still have more chances to live."

She sounded so hopeless that it could break everyone's heart. Natasha used to be a cheerful person but now she was turning into one hell of a miserable person. Fury sighed when he saw her sad.

"It will be alright, Romanoff. We have protocol for this."

"This is unlike anything we ever trained for, Nick." She replied

"He needs time to adjust, Romanoff. He has been out of the ice for a month. Give him some time."

"I'm trying my best not to shoot him in the face, sir"

"Listen to me, Natasha. His unstable and erratic behavior was a result from being out of the ice for too long and it has some effects on him. As well as, waking up to find everyone he knew is gone combines with the fact that he was away from his life-mate for too long can cause his aggressive behavior too."

Nat didn't know what to say so Fury continued with his speech.

"He needs time to get over everything from his past. He also needs time to grieve for everything he has lost. Not to mention the possibility of serious PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, and Depression."

Fury gave her list of what the Captain might be facing right now. He hadn't had a change to mourn over his best friend's death or his fellow Howling Commandos or Howard Stark. He was lost and out of place and doesn't know where he belongs (Well, Natasha had an answer for that.) He was angry and had been through more shit than most people ever will.

It was easy to sympathize but it didn't explain why he has been so cruel to a total stranger, especially her.

"What about what I have been through here? He never cares about what I feel, sir." She said, "It hurts a lot sometimes."

"He's denying it because he's still confused."

Natasha nodded, "And he doesn't seem to feel any pain when he was away from me or he yelled, insulted, or hurt me physically while I feel all of it."

"Our expert said it was because he still has his bond with his life-mate while you only bonded with him. He still holds on to Peggy Carter and the bond will help ease some pain."

"Shit" Natasha muttered.

"Don't worry. The next time he lays his hands on you again, I will put him back in the ice myself."

"Does he… have a chance to completely lose his mind?"

"Probably" Fury answered honestly, "But we have a protocol for that."

"What? Lock him in the unbreakable cell?"

"The plan for now is to put him in the ice until we come up with a better solution than this one." Fury got up from his seat, "That's all I have to tell you for now, Agent Romanoff."

"Thank you, sir."

"Hope to have you back in New York soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	7. The Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: 20 JUL 2015

Steve came back to her apartment at noon with his arms full of grocery bags.

"Where have you been?" Nat sprung on her feet when she saw him entering the apartment.

Her first reaction to his presence caught her off guard when she felt the urge to lung forward and hug him tightly in her arms but years of training had her pushing that feeling away.

_Where the hell was that coming from?_

Steve put the bag on the kitchen counter and turned his attention back to Natasha.

"On the rooftop, done some thinking and went to grocery store just around the corner."

"Fury came to see me this morning."

"A mission?"

"No, it was something else. It's about...our current situation."

His expression had gone blank again and he turned away, heading for his room but he turned to her again,

"I'm sorry about last night." He said, "You don't have to forgive me either."

"I will never forgive you, Rogers." She replied coldly

* * *

Steve went to see Peggy the next day since morning and Natasha had to come along with him again. She didn't like it. She hated every minute of it but she has no choice.

The Captain was sitting in the room with Peggy Carter and talking again. They did a lot more of talking than he did with Natasha.

But there was something off about him that Peggy could easily notice. She saw him often drift into deep thoughts and sometimes he didn't listen to what she said.

"What is it?"

Steve snapped out of his deep thoughts and turned his gaze to her, "Sorry?"

"What is it that's bothering you?"

Steve was visibly hesitating to tell and Peggy could read all the emotions shown on his face. He was always an open book to her.

"You're feeling guilty about something."

"Yeah…"

"You don't have to hide it from me."

"I know…I just…I shouldn't tell you about this. I will disappoint you with it."

"Just tell me, Steven."

"You're not gonna believe this but I met my soulmate." He said, "She's waiting for me right outside."

"I'm glad for you, Steve. You deserve to find that someone more than anyone else."

"But I don't want her, Peggy. I don't love her."

"You have to let her in, Steve. And move on with your life. You should do the right thing with her."

"How can I do the right thing to you and to the woman who claims to be my soulmate? I don't know what to do anymore. My love is for you but at the same time, I have to be her soulmate."

"Steve, don't let  _me_  be your excuse for this. You shouldn't hang on to your past when there is a good life awaiting for you. I found my soulmate too. We loved each other. We lived happily together and you should have that too."

"I almost killed her yesterday." Steve finally told her what was troubling him, "She tried to say the same thing as you but it provoked something in me and I ended up almost breaking her neck."

"Oh, Steve…" Peggy scolded "That's the last thing you should do to your soulmate."

"I didn't want her as my soulmate, Peggy."

"You cannot choose who is to be your soulmate, Steve. It doesn't work that way. God chose that person for you. He must have a plan ahead for you two. You will find your happiness if you let her in, Steve."

Steve was quiet as he tried to think.

"You know, the only thing that kept me alive is my bond with you." Peggy told him. "You know that if I break the bond with you, I will die."

"Please don't do it, Peggy." Steve quickly replied, "I still need you to guide me."

"No, you do not. You have your new guidance angel now, Steven. And she is waiting for you outside."

"Peggy…"

"I'm tired, Steve. I should get some rest."

"Okay."

Steve got up and pulled the blanket up to cover her body before pressing a kiss on her forehead. Peggy squeezed his hand before she slowly drifted back to sleep.

* * *

The next day that Steve visited Peggy she said that she wanted to meet Natasha, to Steve's dismay. She demanded him to get her Natasha and for him to wait for them outside while they were talking.

Peggy only needed to know that Natasha was good enough for him.

"Agent Carter" Natasha peeked from the door, unsure what to say.

"Please come in." The older woman said.

Natasha awkwardly moved herself to stop beside Peggy's bed. Well, it was a very awkward situation if another person was your soulmate's life-mate.

"You must be Natasha." Peggy spoke up first to break the awkward silence.

"Yes, I am."

"And you are his soulmate."

"Yes."

"He can be really stubborn." Peggy said, "But he's not the same man I remember."

"My boss believed that he has suffered a lot of trauma."  
"You have to be very patient with him, Natasha." Peggy said, "He has been through a lot more than you can imagine."

Nat felt a little more relaxed when they began to talk. The old woman could somehow relate to her fear and her sorrow over this matter.

"Do you love him?" Natasha asked, "Do you still have any feelings left for him?"

"At first, I was really glad that he's still alive…but the timing isn't right. Look at me, I'm old and I'm about to die any moment…The only thing that is keeping me in this world is my bond with Steve."

"You didn't break it yet?" Nat asked. Peggy tiredly nodded, "Why didn't you break it once you met your soulmate?"

"It doesn't go that way, Natasha. The bond isn't something you can just break by saying it out of nowhere. You have to say it in front of your life-mate. Even how much I wanted to end up with Steve, my feelings for my soulmate were stronger than what I have with Steve."

"There is no way to get away with all of this, right?"

"Yes, your soul binds together the moment you look him in the eye. Even the bond was tiny but it is a lot stronger than what the life-mate has shared with each other."

"How can I get to him? I mean, he never lets his guard down. He never ever shares his thoughts or his feelings with me."

"Don't let him fool you by his stone cold mask, Natasha. I knew him. He was dying inside. He never let himself bled on anyone. He would rather bleed himself to dead inside rather than showing the world his weaknesses."

Nat kept quiet so Peggy continued with her speech.

"You have to be there for him, Natasha. He is lost. He can't find the way home anymore and you, his soulmate, are the only one with the ability to do that. You're his only home now even if he hasn't realized it yet."

* * *

Steve had to sit around and wait until Natasha came out to meet him at the parking lot. A million of thoughts ran through his mind and all of them were making him go insane. Every thought that came back to him was how he could have ended up with Peggy, how he could have grown old with her, watching their children having family.

It was just a dream now. It could only happen in a dream and he would rather live in it.

This new world was nothing like his time. Everything was so complicated even though the conditions of living were better than the 40's. He admitted that he was confused, he was scared of this whole new world. He didn't have friends to help him through this.

He never even had a chance to say goodbye to any of them and now he had only Peggy left.

How was he supposed to live on without someone guiding him? He had to put his life in the hands of a woman he just shortly met? How could he trust her?

How could he fall in love with the woman he had no interest in?

Steve got to admit that she was beautiful, stunningly beautiful, but she was nothing compared to the woman he loved. He couldn't lose Peggy. She was the only thing that held his past and this horrendous present.

"Hey!" Natasha said loudly and Steve snapped back to reality.

"What have you guys been talking about?"

"It's none of your business." Natasha shot him back

"Tell me right now." He growled.

"I don't hear you asking it nicely."

Steve sighed, "Fine, keep it to yourself."

Nat fought back the urge to kick him in the face. How will they ever be able to live with one another if they end up arguing every time. Peggy Carter had a lot of faith in them but she couldn't even see a tiny bit of it.

How could Peggy Carter see any potential in them? Steve Rogers and her were a mixture of chaos and disaster.

They ate dinner separately. Nat occupied her couch in the living room while Steve was in the kitchen, eating as fast as he could and then he went back to his room immediately.

The next day, they went to meet Peggy again but this time Natasha kept her watch from a far while Steve and Peggy were sitting in the garden while they talked.

"Steve, what are you doing here with me?" Peggy asked, "Your soulmate is waiting for you there. Why don't you spend your time with her? Bonding with her?"

"I don't like her." Steve muttered under his breathe, "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

Peggy lightly chuckled, "Oh, Steve, I only want the best thing for you." She replied "I'm not the best thing for you anymore. Natasha is."

"Peggy…"

"I only want you to be happy, Steve and I cannot provide you with that anymore. I want you to be happy with your soulmate the way I have shared my life long happiness with mine."

"Peggy, I don't…"

"Listen to me, Steven. You have to let her in. That's the only way you will find peace with everything you have been through. She's the only one with that power to do that for you. The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over"

Steve frowned, he started to realize what was going on but before he could stop her, it was too late.

"Steve, I, Peggy Carter, break every bond and hold I have over you as your life-mate and set your free."

Steve felt as if some part of him was ripped off. The bond between him and Peggy was gone. The only thing that held him back, tied him with the 40's, shackled him with the illusion that he could still have everything he wanted, a normal happy life after a war with the woman he loved, was gone.

He suddenly felt all the pain stabbing inside of him the way he had never felt before. It was too much, he couldn't handle it and it sent him to the ground. Peggy hurt him, just to free him from the past so he could start his new life and move on.

Steve painfully screamed as the pain tripled itself. His vision slowly changed back to black and white. Steve blinked furiously as if the vision would turn back to color again but it did not work. The pain inside him wouldn't subside either.

"Go back to her, Steve." Peggy said, "She's the only one who can help you."

He screamed loudly again before he slowly crawled his way out of the garden. His soul loudly screamed out his soulmate's name because it knew that this was the only way to stop all of this.

Then the pain began to subside when Natasha came rushing in and held him tight in her arms. Steve breathed heavily as the pain slowly faded away under her soothing touch. He heard Natasha's steady heartbeats and her beautiful voice humming something like a lullaby in a foreign language to calm him down.

He hated this. He hated that he had to depend on someone. Especially because that someone was the person he tried really hard to run away from.

Her voice continued to sooth him and ease his fear and pain. Natasha gently rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Steve. You're gonna be okay." She whispered, "Can you get up now?

Steve nodded and she helped him get up. She could see panic showed on his face.

"Let's go home." She said and led them back to her car.

Steve sat quietly all the way back to Natasha's apartment. Natasha knew he was thinking about every single thing. Now that he knew how she felt every time he was away from her, how she felt when he unleashed all the cruel words on to her.

Now that his life depended on her and he felt 100% pain, she had an equal chance to get back on him if she wanted to.

* * *

They stayed in DC for three more days before heading back to New York. Steve was left completely broken. There was no chance that he could have Peggy back in his life. The bond was broken but his feelings for her didn't magically go away.

The flight back to New York was quiet but Natasha kept her vigilant eyes at Steve all the time. She could tell that he didn't make peace with any of his past yet. And then she realized something, he was bleeding inside like Peggy Carter told her. It was her chance to get to him and to try to bond with him.

But then something in his eyes made her heart ache, she knew that look in his eyes. It was the look of a man who lost everything and he was about to go insane any moment.

The quinjet landed at the tower with all residents of the tower waiting there to welcome them home. Steve tensed up when Pepper and Darcy gave him a welcome hug. He only raised his hands up and placed them on their back out of courtesy, not because he wanted to.

Clint hugged his best friend tightly. Nat hugged him back tightly with the same affection. That's what made Steve's whole body tense up. Some part in him wanted to rip Clint away from her and another part wanted to keep Natasha in his arms so she couldn't be touched by any other man.

He shook those thoughts away immediately and realized how these new feelings toward Natasha made him so terrified.

Natasha sensed his discomfort and looked up to see a deadly glare from Steve which was fixed on Clint. She broke away from the hug. As Tony began to usher them inside the tower, Steve looked at her for a brief moment before turning away like she wasn't there at all.

Nat quickly paced after him because she feared the pain. They huddled inside the elevator and Tony managed to get Steve and Nat pressed up against each other in the corner of the elevator.

Steve had to wrap his arms around her small form when Clint and Thor came near her. He did it out of instinct and some random emotion that he didn't know. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body. It must be his fast metabolism that she read from the file Fury gave to her. She leaned in and for the first time in her life, Nat felt the peaceful comfort.

Feeling daring because he didn't push her away, Nat rested her head on his chest and heard his heart beat like a drum.

Steve let her have this moment despite his slight discomfort. But he couldn't help but notice the way she fit perfectly in his embrace.

No one was brave enough to interrupt this moment. The moment they were all hoping for, the moment Steve Rogers let Natasha in.

But their hope was crushed the moment the elevator opened at the living area and everyone walked out of it. Steve pushed her away and stormed off immediately.

"Okay, I feel like you guys have finally bonded." Tony spoke up and looked between the soldier and the spy.

No answer from both parties.

"Alright. Then I think we should figure out how you guys are gonna live together."

"We're not gonna live together!" Steve replied and stepped away to create more distance between him and Natasha.

"We have to live together otherwise you will suffer from that pain again!" Nat yelled back and stepped closer to Steve who put his hands up to stop her from coming closer to him

"What the hell are you doing?"

"We have to bond."

"Stay away from me!" He yelled at her, "Even Peggy if dies, that doesn't mean I have to fall in love with you!"

Steve stomped off to the elevator and left Natasha behind.

"It takes time, red. He just woke up from the ice and found his life turned upside down within the span of 1 month. It's not easy for everyone to move on." Tony suggested.

"You know what. I don't want him either. He is nothing but a stranger to me."

"Don't say that. Whether you like it or not, he is your soul mate."

"All I know about him is what I read in his SHIELD file and history books, Tony. How am I supposed to love him if he didn't let me in?"

"You have to try, Romanoff or else you will suffer a lot of pain."

Nat frowned at Tony's warning. Suffer a lot of pain, huh? She thought, if she could take the pain the Red Room had bestowed upon her she thought she could take whatever that….

"ARHH!" Nat suddenly screamed when she felt the pain piercing through her body. Her eyes snapped shut but when she opened them again she began to see that her vision turned back to black and white.

From the floor above them, they could hear Steve's screams. Tony helped straighten Nat up. This kind of pain was a whole new level of hurt.

"Told you."

"What the hell was that?"

"If you and your soulmate are apart more than…uhh… a specific range, you will suffer like this and lose your ability to see color."

"What the fuck?" She muttered angrily. "I just got it back and I haven't seen enough color yet."

"I suggest you two should move in together."

"Triple fuck." Nat rolled her eyes as she had to accept the truth.

She would have to be close to Steve Rogers all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	8. The Misunderstanding

**8 : The Misunderstanding**

Despite how much he hate to live together with Natasha on the same floor, it didn't stop everyone from helping her moving in to his apartment. He didn't have his things laying around that much because he just woke up and everything from his past was gone except for his belongings in the army.

Stark had everything shipped to the tower and gave Steve a credit card if he wanted to go shopping and buy some 'up-to-date' clothes.

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothings wrong but your granpa style clothes make you look like a man out of time."

Steve glared at the billionaire but Tony shrugged it off and walked into Natasha's room where Clint and Thor were helping her with the heavy belongings.

"Where shall I put your painting, my lady?" Thor asked.

"You can hang it on that wall." Natasha replied. She was balancing herself on the ladder with one leg as she put her kitten crystal glass on the shelf.

Steve frowned when he saw how every man surrounded her. They gravitated around her like she was the glue that held them together. It must be because of his soulmate instinct that generated all of this territorial feeling toward her. He didn't let it but he couldn't control it.

When the night fell and everyone adjourned to their own floors, Natasha and Steve went to their separate rooms. Somehow the pain began to bubbling underneath their skin but Steve shrugged it off and hit the shower but when he came out, he found Natasha sitting on his bed waiting for him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked harshly and pulled her up from hos bed.

"I can't sleep because of the pain." She answered. "So I will sleep here."

"Go back to your room. We will not sleep in the same bed."

"Don't worry, cap. I will not be offended by your morning wood."

Steve frowned, "If you want to stay here, I will go."

"Then I will follow you and we both won't get any sleep tonight."

"Go away. Stop bothering me, woman."

When he uttered that word, Steve was swiftly taken down to the ground by Natasha Romanoff wrapping her thighs around his neck and throwing him down. She landed on her feet gracefully and smirked down at him.

"Just for the sake of living peacefully together, never ever insult me or utter a single word that indicates I am any less than you."

She marched out of his room with her blank expression and that was the first time Steve felt the wrath of the Black Widow. She had been playing nice with him for some times now so this was her time for a little pay back.

Natasha went back to her room but she couldn't sleep. The nagging pain of being separate from her soulmate was something she cannot shut off. She closed her eyes, trying to count from one to one hundred but she couldn't do it.

Then the pain had completely vanished and it took her by her curiosity. Natasha shrugged it off because she was too tired to get on her feet again and slowly let herself drifted into her slumber.

* * *

To be honest, this soulmate thing was the only thing she couldn't figure it out. It was the most complicated thing that even the two of the smartest men in the world couldn't figure out. Tony and Bruce couldn't identify the pattern that occurred between Steve and Natasha.

Sometimes they could be at a greater distance away from one another but sometimes they couldn't bear the pain from being away only a few meters. This was the whole new level of soul mates thing they didn't know about.

Like this morning, she was at the gym sparring with Clint but Steve was nowhere to be found but she guessed he was in the labs two floor above. She didn't feel any pain. She felt rather good that she could be away from him.

"You're not paying any attention, Widow." Clint's voice brought her back from her deep thought together with landing a hit on her upper left arm.

Nat yelped and jumped away. She rubbed the hitting spot and winced.  _Great, that will leave a nice bruise on her._

"Sorry. My mind is wandering a lot lately. I can barely concentrate on something when everything seems to go back to that man."

Clint frowned at her answer. This doesn't sound like the great Black Widow at all.

"Did you talk to him yet?" Clint asked, "You gotta talk to him, you know, to make it work."

"No, I don't want to. Every time we talk, we ended up yelling at one another."

"Are you sure he really is your soulmate?" The archer asked "I mean, it seems like god from high above wants him to be your archenemy instead."

"Yeah, my archenemy would suit him better."

"You have to learn to be together. You are soulmates for one another but it doesn't mean it is the shortcut to happily ever after. It's still a relationship that needs time to work out."

"What makes you suddenly an expert on being in a relationship, Clint?" Nat asked teasingly "Because the last time I check, you walked out on that Bobbi girl."

"Yeah…"

Clint didn't finish his sentence because he felt another person's presence in the gym. Natasha turned around and saw Steve and Bruce standing at the doorway with Bruce holding the medical kits in his hand.

"Natasha, let me check your arms." Bruce said as he went to the ring.

"No, Bruce. It's really nothing." Natasha replied and stepped out of the ring.

Bruce was about to help Natasha sat down but someone took her hand and gently guided her down to sit on the stairs. Nat knew whose it belong to and she looked up to see a pair of deep blue orbs staring at her.

"Let him check you." Steve said.

"It's nothing, Rogers."

"Natasha…"

His eyes said everything and Nat did as he said. She pulled the sleeve of her t-shirt up and revealed a purple bruise.

"Did you keep checking on me?"

Bruce looked up at Steve and the Captain nodded, "He feels it."

"Feels what?"

"I feel that my left arms was hurt...like something hit it really hard but nothing physically hit me so I guess it's from you."

"Woah! Are you shitting me right now?" Natasha sighed "You say now that we can actually feel each other's pain when one of us get hurt?"

"It's likely to be the only explanation."

"It's just a coincidence."

"I was sitting still on the couch with only Tony and Bruce around me and they were three meters away from me."

Nat turned to Bruce, "Does this mean I have to stop sparring too, Bruce?"

"I'm not quite sure. Maybe it's the onetime thing."

"So you're worried about me, huh?" Natasha asked teasingly and smirked

"Not one bit."

That was his reply but his eyes said something else.  _Is he finally starting to open up and let her in for a little?_  He finally did care about her or finally saw her as a friend, not his enemy. Steve quickly turned on his heels and walked out of the gym.

Natasha got up and quickly followed Steve into the elevator.

"Why are you following me?"

"The distance, remember?"

Steve sighed and headed to his room. He locked the door behind him as if it would prevent him from breaking in to his room.  _Well, heavily guarded fortress couldn't keep her target away from her, what makes Captain Spangled think he could hide behind that door?_

She let him have this one before she began her mission to break the ice with Steve Rogers.

* * *

Just when everyone thought they stopped fighting, they fought again and this time was occurred in the living room where everyone could only stay away from the yelling match.

Insults flied, cruel words stabbing each other like knives, everyone could clearly see that it hurts them but neither willing to stop. Natasha was about to snap Steve's neck while the Captain was likely to punch something.

Their argument turning into a screaming match and it terrifying everyone but no one was brave enough to stop them.

This time was more than the previous ones. Natasha used every fact, everything she knew about Steve to hurt him. She wasn't afraid of him because she knew now that she had her power over him too. For Steve, even though he didn't know anything much about Natasha he used everything he knew to fight against her.

"Their sexual tension is reaching the point where they are going to fuck or kill each other at one point." Tony whispered to Bruce and Pepper.

Steve was the first to stomp off and to the elevator. He couldn't stand this woman anymore because if he had to listen to one more word of her, he probably choked her again.

But when he stepped in the elevator, Natasha followed in.

"We're not done yet!" She bellowed at him.

"I think we are done, Romanoff! We are done since you brought the one topic I told you not to bring up!" He yelled back.

Another yelling match occurred and in the heat of their argument, Steve hardly pushed Natasha against the wall. His hands tightened around her arms, likely left bruises again. Natasha stared back and prepared to fight.

Before anything occurred, the elevator stopped and the light went off.

"What the hell?" Nat said.

Steve let go of her and stepped back.

"JARVIS…" Nat called the AI but he didn't respond, "It looks like we stuck here for a while."

"I will figure out how get out of this."

"This is Stark's elevator. Do you really think he had a hole for us to get out of this? He build it to prevent the intruder from escape. The only person who can get us out is JARVIS or Stark."

"It doesn't make any sense." He replied, "And how do you know the security measure of this place?"

"I'm a spy for god's sake. It's what I do."

"Yeah, and you've been doing a very good job at it. You have been manipulating me to your will since I moved here!"

"Yeah, and you're not the guy who opened up to me either, Rogers. I've been trying to reach out to you and you shot me down!" Natasha shot back, "How are we supposed to establish a relationship when you sealed yourself out like this?!"

And Natasha was up against the wall again. This time Steve pressed his entire body against her and it made her stop her rumbling.

Their breath were heavy and their chest heaving, their faces were inch away from one another. They closed their eyes as their faces move closer but then the light came on and the elevator started to work again.

Steve let go off her and walked out of the confined space. He needed to be alone. He needed to clear his head.

Steve was confused, very very confused by everything. His emotion, his feeling, his memories from the past, every ghost that haunted him had him become a very unstable person. One minute he wanted to kill Natasha, another moment he wanted to protect her.

A heavy punch went through the wall to let out his anger and scratched his fingers a little.

 _How would he do this?_  He always had answers for all the questions, he used to have strategy and everything to handle all of this.

But the only solution came to his mind, he needed Natasha to stop all this madness and it's the only way was to let her in.  _First things first was to gather his gut to apologize to Natasha._

* * *

Steve woke up in cold sweat. It was 6 AM and he couldn't go back to sleep right now. He buried his face in his hands trying to shake the certain redhead out of his mind but he clearly couldn't do that. So the Captain got up and decided to go for a run.

He didn't feel any pain from being away from Natasha. It didn't seem to happen lately either. (Well, except for when they were arguing and insulting each other.) So he thought he would go for a run. He hadn't been out of the tower for some time now because of Natasha and this soulmate thing.

He cleared his head, putting the earbuds on, turning a music on and then began to run up the street.

He made it to the central park when he felt a little string in his chest but he shrugged it off and kept running. The more he was away from the tower, the pain increased but he could take it. He had a very high pain tolerance.

The one thing that Steve forgot was that his pain was a two ways street.

* * *

The thing that happened between her and Steve, their screaming match, gave her a headache so she went to bed early to avoid her soulmate and probably their argument. She had a very deep sleep for the first time in a very long time. It was like her mind and body knew her soulmate was close.

But something did interrupted her peaceful sleep. She abruptly woke up because of the pain stung in her chest and this time it strike her hard. It was severe than gotten hit by sniper round.

"ARGGGG!" She started to scream and her body curled tight into a ball.

"Agent Romanoff, are you alright?" JARVIS asked, concerned.

"Get me Clint…." She groaned before starting to scream again.

Clint came running into her room with everyone followed behind.

"Tasha" He called her and saw her face contorted in pain. Tears was pouring down from her green eyes.

It was the sight nobody ever thought they will see. Natasha Romanoff was never ever let her guard down like this.

Nat began to scream again before she fell to the floor Clint and Thor helped her back up.

"What is it, Bruce?" Tony asked "Tell us!"

"I don't know…"Bruce replied "Wait! Where is Steve?"

"He's out for jogging, sir." JARVIS replied, "The tracking in his iPod said he is in Central Park."

"Thor, go get him."

"AYE!"

The god flew through the window while the others trying to ease her pain but it didn't work out. The only thing that will work was Steve's presence.

 _How could he do this to her? How could he be so cruel that he had her in pain just to torture her?_  The thought only made her tears fell freely.

Thor flew over the park and located Steve doing sit-up on the bench.

"Steven! We need you back at the tower right now." Thor boomed

"Of course."

"Hold on tight, captain."

That was the only thing the god said before he took Steve's waist and flew back to the tower. They reached his floor and Thor almost threw Steve to the floor of her room. When Natasha saw him, she came running and threw herself into his arms, held him tight and began to cry again.

Steve felt his heart break, seeing Natasha cried like that and hugged her back.

"Natasha, I'm here." Steve whispered.

"Why are you doing that?" She said painfully and gripped tight to his shirt. "What have I done to you?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry."

Everybody began to dissolve themselves out of Nat's room to give them some privacy. Steve didn't let go off Natasha and continued to console her until her sobs began to subside.

Steve didn't hear any movement from outside her room so he assumed that everyone had already left them alone. Natasha's tears still fell and they were still clung to each other. Steve felt his pain was gone and Natasha must have felt the same too.

Natasha pushed him off and got back to her feet.

"I never thought you will be this cruel, Rogers." She quietly said, "You know that we have to be together and your brilliant mind thought that it was a good idea that you should go for a run!"

"Natasha…let me explain."

"No! You don't want me and I get it. I was putting up with you a lot this past two months and that's enough for me to be the receiving end of this cruelty you decide to bestow upon me because you just didn't want me!"

"I'm sorry. I just thought that…"

"Thought about what? Thought about how much it will hurt me so you took this chance to punish me on something that I don't even know!"

Steve felt another wave of pain stabbing his heart at Natasha's word but he couldn't get her to listen to him.

"Natasha…please listen..."

"If I knew you would be this cruel to me, I wish that I hadn't found you in that ice. I will leave you in the ice alone for the rest of your life!"

That took him off guarded and it hurt him more than anything else.  _Did she mean what she said?_  If she really means it, it would be the most cruel thing to do. The ice was too cold, he was alone and there was nothing good about it at all.

He was trying really hard to apologize to her or make her even slightly listen to him, let him make it up to her. But what she said hurt him so much that it made him replied to her in the saddest voice Natasha ever heard.

"I didn't want to be thawed out and found you either."

With that he walked out of the room and left Natasha alone. She felt something tingling, her instinct sensed something was about to happen. She followed Steve out but she didn't find him anywhere in their apartment.

"JARVIS! Where is Captain Rogers?" Natasha asked.

"On the lab floor. ma'am." JARVIS replied,

Nat ran to the elevator and was just in time to find Steve lock himself inside the cryogenic chamber and the freezing process was begun. Natasha screamed out his name and went to stop the machine.

"JARVIS! Stop it right now!" She told before the pain sent her to the floor as well.

 _"Agent Romanoff!"_  JARVIS called  _"Are you alright, ma'am?"_

"No, get me Stark right now!"

_"Yes, ma'am."_

Natasha heard Steve screamed as every inch of his body began to freeze up. He shut his eyes tightly to keep all the bad memories away. Natasha's hand was at the machine but she couldn't anything.

"Nat!" Clint ran to her.

"Where's Steve?" Tony asked

"Stop the fucking machine!" Natasha said

Tony and Bruce went to the panel and stop the machine. Steve was 20% froze. As the machine opened, Thor caught the unconscious body of the Captain.

"Take him to the medical wing! JARVIS, checks his vital."

Clint helped Nat up from the floor and she immediately went to her soulmate.

"Stay with me, Rogers."

* * *

It took Steve two days to recover from the freezing. Natasha never left his bedside in the medical ward. Everyone saw her cry again and this time, everyone had enough of them hurting one another.

They will have a big lecture await for the spy and soldier after this.

Natasha also realized that if Fury decided to put her soulmate back in the ice, the pain would be too much to bear and she would ask to follow him into the chamber.

"How are you holding up to, Agent Romanoff?"

"I'm okay, sir."

"Did he hurt you again?"

"No, I hurt him this time. My words drove him off."

"Maybe you two should try to break the bond." Fury suggested, "Maybe the god from high above will see that you two really aren't compatible."

Natasha kept that option in her mind.

Steve woke up to find Natasha. Warmth rushed through his body the moment he saw her. He reached his hand out to touch her red curl but the memories of the last thing before he froze himself played in his mind.

_'If I knew you would be this cruel to me, I wish that I hadn't found you in that ice. I will leave you in the ice alone for the rest of your life!'_

He pulled his hand back and left her alone.

Bruce came in a moment later to check him. Natasha woke up right away when she sense someone else's presence. Nat moved away to give Bruce a space. The rest of the team came in and settled down around the room waiting for the Doctor to finish.

When Bruce finished, everyone looked like they were about to scream or yell something at them.

"YOU TWO MUST FIGURE IT OUT HOW TO BE WITH EACH OTHER RATHER THAN TRYING TO KILL ONE ANOTHER!" Pepper angrily bellowed at them.

"I agree with Pepper." Tony nodded, "I have had enough of your soap opera."

"THIS IS THE GIFT FROM GOD AND YOU TWO ARE NEGLECTING IT." The CEO kept bellowing at them, "This is a gift and you should be thankful for it and cherish that you have found someone especially made just for you."

"There is no way you can get out of this" Bruce chimed in

"Friends, I worry about the two of you but Asgardians don't have a phenomenon like this." Thor spoke up, "But I do have to say that you should finally open up to one another."

The couple stayed silent and didn't make any eye contact with anyone.

"Can I move back to my room now?" Steve asked.

"Yes, you can." Bruce replied.

* * *

Nat took Steve back to his room and made sure he wasn't going collapse. She knew she had something to say to him, to make all of this settle and she already made up her mind that she will do this when he woke up.

"I know you hate me."

He turned to her, confused, "What?"

"You don't like me and you don't want to be with me."

"Is that what you think?"

"The way you act makes me think, Rogers. But I completely understand. I'm just a stranger to you." She explained "Just so you know, I don't want you either but we seem to be stuck here."

"Natasha..." Steve tried explain but Natasha didn't listen

"I am the one who takes everything from your life, ain't I? You thought you can have a chance to live your life the way you want, to use this second chance to get what you finally want with who you want to spend with."

"What are you talking about? That's not what I meant." Steve said "You have to listen to me, Natasha!"

"As a soul mate, we don't have any compatibility at all." Natasha continued to rant and didn't give Steve a chance to explain. "We should go our separate ways." Even that's what she want but her soul screaming something else, "I, Natasha Romanoff, break every bond or hold I have over you as a soul mate."

The moment Natasha said those words, Steve fell to the ground and his face contorted in pain. It was like a hundred knives stabbed into his body at the same time. He clutched his heart, tried to keep himself from screaming.

"What the hell are you trying to do to me?" He breathed hard, trying to fight back the pain.

"Break whatever hold I have on you so we can have our life back and you can have someone that you want, someone that isn't me!"

"It doesn't work and nothing will work, Natasha! We are soulmates, not just a life mate that we can just lift the fucking bond and free ourselves from one another!"

"I'm sorry but I cannot do this anymore."

"I don't hate you, Natasha. I'm confused of whats happening to me." He said, still not moving from his place. Nat had to hold him in her arms to get rid of the pain, "I'm so fucking confused. One minute I went under, another minute I wake up 70 years in the future, another minute I met you. I was trying to deny it since I woke up and yesterday I just realized how much we need each other and how horrible the thing I had done to you. I'm terribly sorry for what I have done and I will not ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it."

"I'm sorry…" She quietly whispered "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want us to have our normal life back the way we want it."

"I know. I want that for us too but clearly we can't." He kissed her forehead to console her "We have to learn to live with one another because this is something we cannot fight or run away from without hurting each other."

Natasha quietly nodded and rested her head on his chest.

 _This was one hell of a thing_. They didn't teach her how to handle this shit back in Red Room but there was something about how Steve gently held her in his arms.

For a guys this big, he was surprisingly gentle. He must have learnt back in the 40's that everything else was more fragile than him.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you. Some part of me hates you for taking everything away from me, shook me to the foundation of my beliefs. I tried to deny it but I just realize that the only way that both of us can be happy is that we have to learn to at least not arguing with each other."

Natasha nodded.  _This was one hell of a thing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	9. The Haunted Memories

Last night Natasha noticed that something had changed about Steve Rogers. It looked like he was trying really hard to change and treat her better than before.

Steve cooked her a very nice dinner and he tried to actually talk to her, ask her a questions and really get to know her. It was the first time that he gave her a smile, even if it was a fake, a forced smile.

He stayed in to watch a rom-com movie with her. He actually laughed and smiled but she fell asleep in the middle of the movie and he made sure that she was in a deep sleep before carrying her into her room.

Well, she wasn't actually a deep sleeper. She still had some conscious left. It was her thing, she had been doing this for too long, it was her job. She always kept one eye open. Steve gently laid her on her bed and pulled the blanket over her. She reached her hand out to grab his hand.

"Steve…my gun…"

Steve handed her a gun and Natasha put it under her pillow but didn't let go off it. He took notice of it but didn't say anything.

"Goodnight, Natasha." He said before walking out of her room.

* * *

Natasha woke up from her deep sleep that she noted to herself she should get rid of this habit. It was the habit that someone in her line of work shouldn't acquire. But it was a very nice habit and she'd never had this much rest in a long time.

She thought she knew the reason to this. Steve Rogers, her soulmate must be the one who caused this to happen. As if her mind knew he was close to her and she could relax near him. Nothing will harm her with his presence and safety he will provide to her.

Nat got up and found Steve in the kitchen cooking their breakfast and judging by the smell of it, it must be really delicious.

"Hey" She sleepily said

"Morning." He replied "What are you making?"

"French toast, poached eggs, well, typical breakfast normal people eat." He replied and gave her a small smile, "If you, uhh, eat that kind of thing."

"I'm not a normal person but I do eat normal things."

"Here you go" He put the plate in front of her

"Thank you"

She grabbed the plate and walked to the couch. She settled herself down pretty comfortably and turned on the television. The broadcasting news took their attention.

'We are having a bank robbery in Brooklyn right now by a group of super villains calling themselves, the Serpent Society." The broadcaster said, "Looks like the Hulk is here with Thor!"

Steve grabbed his own plate and sat down next to her.

"Why did they not call us?" Steve asked

"Well, our condition isn't exactly ready to fight." She replied, "Until we figure this out. We are grounded, off missions, off work, off the team."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's Fury's order to keep us safe." She changed the channel to something else.

Steve could clearly see how much she wants to get back in the field and actually do something.

"Why do you want to get back there so bad? Am I boring or something? Did I drive you away?"

"No! Steve, no. It's not that. I just miss the action sometimes."

He just nodded and got back to his breakfast. Natasha casually put her feet on the coffee table which earned her a glare from Steve.

"Feet off the table." He half growled at her.

She looked at him and a corner of her lips quirked up, "Fine."

They enjoyed their meal in silence but it was a perfect morning they didn't usually have.

"You know you can talk to me the way you did before. I kinda miss it." Steve spoke up out of nowhere.

"Steve you don't need to fake to be happy with me. You are an open book to me, Steve. Just be honest with me. Your life will be happier if you're not lying to me."

"I'm always honest, Natasha. I want to be happy with you and I think the first step is I have make myself feel happy, to learn to be happy again."

"I will help you with that Steve." Natasha replied and gave him a bright smile.

He began to like to see her smile.

* * *

Everyone noticed that Steve and Natasha became quite close and fond of one another. No one outside the pair knew what was going on between them but they took it as a good sign. They didn't fight and they spoke more. Natasha smiled more than ever and Steve was the one who made it happen.

They always found the couple in the living room, sitting together and laughing. Like this morning when Bruce and Tony came up from the labs and found the couple enjoying their breakfast and the TV show together.

"Am I dreaming or they're actually laughing?" Tony quietly said to Bruce who was as shocked as he was, "Not to mention they are willing to be that close to each other."

"It seems like that way, Tony." Bruce replied

The two geniuses found themselves smiling when Natasha casually leaned her head on Steve's shoulders before they cooked themselves their breakfast and joined the Captain and the spy in front of the television.

But what they didn't notice was how Steve stiffened up every time Natasha touched him or did a little intimate thing with him. Though his opinion toward her had change he was somehow scared of having her in his life after he treated her so badly before.

The point was…he didn't know how to treat a woman or how to be in a relationship. The thing he had with Peggy was brief and they had no time to pursue their romantic interest. Duty came first as they thought nothing could go wrong and he went under.

He didn't know how to do it; How to make her happy, how to make her smile, or how to treat her. She deserved someone much better than him.

A soothing touch on his arm brought him back to reality and he saw Natasha looked at him with worried eyes

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just…"

"I feel you trapped in your thought but I didn't know what it is."

"It's nothing. It's just…I don't know how to treat a woman or how to be in a relationship." He said with a slight blush on his face.

Natasha smiled fondly at him, "You don't have to learn anything Steve. Everything will come naturally."

"How can you be so sure? I have like zero experience in this."

"I'm not exactly the expert too. My past relationships are total disaster."

"I guess we have to try."

Natasha smiled a little before leaning her head against his shoulder and felt her body relaxed. She got to admit that since Steve broke his bond with Peggy Carter everything was better between them. He finally realized how much this soulmate thing was really important and he finally acknowledge her existence.

It was good to have someone who cared about her.

* * *

Steve had been struggling with his nightmares for a while now. Even though he had Natasha to repel everything from him. He couldn't shake this one off. The nightmare had been more and more unbearable every time.

It was one of the side effects of being in the peak physical human condition. He could remember everything like his brain was recording a video of his life. He sometimes saw his past come alive and it haunted him. He saw his friends walking and everything was too vivid. It was too real that sometimes Steve couldn't tell the difference.

It wasn't like he never had nightmare before. He had them a hundred times but this time was different from every time. It was too much and he felt like he was about to losing to it and let the bad memories succumbed him.

Natasha had been noticing something different too. She didn't have nightmares for sometimes now (Because of the soulmate thing, Steve did help repel bad dreams from her.) but there was something nagging at the back of her head and made her wakes up in the middle of the night.

She got out of her bed to the kitchen and then she heard a painful groaned from Steve's room. Then she heard a terrifying shout of someone's name from his past that made her running into his room to find Steve curled up tightly. His hands clutching the cover that tore apart by the force he was holding it. He screamed again and Nat held him in her arms.

"Steve, listen to me…listen to my voice and try to snap out of it." She said and rubbed his arms, hoping to wake him up as gently as she can, "It's just a dream, Steve. Wake up,"

He continued to thrash wildly and murmured something that likely to break her heart.

"Steve…wake up. It's not real…."

He snapped his eyes opened she could she how terrifying it was. He took a sharp intake of breath before quickly pinning her down by her throat. When he completely regained his conscious, he saw Natasha, not his enemy and he jumped off his bed, letting go of her. He looked terrified, sweating, panting and freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. How did you know?"

"You were screaming and there was an image on people from war time running through my dream too."

He frowned "We shared it…?"

"Probably."

Steve was completely freaked out. Natasha got out of her bed and hugged him. Steve rested his head on her shoulder.

"You gonna be okay, Steve. I'm with you."

Natasha gently guided him back to his bed and settled him down. They sat together on the bed with the spy holding him all the time.

"Can you tell me about your dream?"

"You don't want to hear about it."

"It's about the war, isn't it?" She asked "I see the guy falling from the train."

"That's Bucky, my best friend."

Steve ended up telling her everything about the dream. He didn't know why but her soothing touch made him opened himself up to her.

Then he realized, only his soulmate could do this kind of thing to him.

* * *

They didn't continue with their sleep but Natasha did held him all night and took him down to the living area when morning comes. Steve felt a little relax and Natasha was okay to finally let him go. Steve felt better when he saw the sun coming up from the horizon as the sign of the night was over and nightmare couldn't harm him again.

Steve was sitting on the kitchen stool waiting for Natasha to cook him with her comfort food. Steve lately found himself loving when she cook and Natasha did had a very good culinary skill which reminded him of his mother. He loved to watch her cook in the kitchen too. He missed the domestic life a lot when he went to war. To be honest, he couldn't imagine the picture of Natasha being a spy or go to war when he was so used to see her in this domestic state.

The rest of the team came downstairs the moment later and inhaled the aromatic scent of the food Natasha had been prepared.

"That's smell really nice, red." Tony said as he set up his coffee machine.

The food she cook smelled really nice. So made him a soup and bread that will help comfort him somehow.

"Come on, Steve. Eat it up before it's cold." She said

Steve slowly ate it but as soon as it hit the bottom of his stomach, he stood up and ran to the bathroom before he vomited everything out. Natasha went after him and found Steve in the state she never thought he will be.

"Are you alright?" She asked as she knelt down next to him

"I'm fine."

He lied and she knew it because she saw sanity slowly left him and he locked himself away from her again. She helped him up and set her mind that she will made him feel better again.

"Does he need medical attention?" Tony asked when he saw the couple

"No" Natasha replied.

"Do you have a room where you can lock me up?" Steve asked.

"Steve…"

"A really solid confinement where I cannot break out if I totally lose it. I don't want to hurt anyone especially you, Natasha." The soldier quickly explained.

Tony looked at Bruce like he was asking the doctor his opinion. Bruce took a moment to analyze the situation before he replied,

"We have a containment room."

"Please take me there." Steve quickly said but Nat grabbed his arm.

"No… Steve. Don't do this. You don't have to do this."

"I have to." He replied, "I don't want to hurt you."

Bruce led him to the Hulk containment room especially designed just in case he hulked out and things got out of control. Bruce ordered JARVIS to open the lock for him.

"Are you sure, Captain?"

"Yes, doctor."

Steve stepped inside and Natasha was about to follow him but he stopped her. He looked at her with his sad blue eyes before the glass door slid closed and locked down.

Natasha didn't like this idea. She knew he won't hurt her but Steve will not take that chance. He was standing on a very thin ice right now. It hurt her emotionally to see him like that. Captain America was supposed to be strong and a beacon of hope for everyone. He supposed to be a symbol of strength and leading this team. He wasn't supposed to be fragile and plagued by nightmares and suffered from PTSD like this.

"I'm sorry I let you down, Natasha." He quietly said, "But I can't take this anymore."

"Let me help you, Steve."

"No, I just need time to adjust my mind."

"If you don't come out, I will be right here."

And Natasha did just that. She waited there for him to come out. She will be here to watch him, to let him know that she will not leave him and she was here to help. She was worried that he might hurt himself but he didn't do anything and sat there, in the middle of the room, quietly thinking.

Then he began to mumble something that Natasha couldn't catch and curled himself tightly into a ball. Everyone took their shift to stay with Natasha in case anything happened. They all saw the Captain at his lowest point and couldn't help but sympathize him.

They all knew how much he had sacrifice, how much he had lose his friends, how many terrible things he had done back during the war. It all came back to haunted him now.

Natasha couldn't fall asleep even Tony sat up a couch for her and everything. How could she possibly had any sleep when her soulmate was having living nightmares like that?

They both looked like hell the next morning Thor found them. The god came to them with breakfast tray in his hand and stayed there to keep Natasha's company. Thor left the tray at the door for Steve but he refused to let Natasha inside.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Tony were having a conference call with Fury and his expert. They were working on the solution to solve this problem. Tony informed the director that he couldn't put Steve back in the ice anymore because Natasha surely will follow him.

"It looks like the only solution for this problem is Agent Romanoff and her power as his soulmate over him. She was the only one who can reach out to him and bring him back in a time like this." Dr. White said, "It's the only logical solution for them now. From what I heard, he already opened up to her so...why don't we use this as a way to help him?"

* * *

They told Natasha about this the moment they got off the call with SHIELD. The solution Dr. White told them was risky because if Steve totally lose his mind, he will likely hurt Natasha but they knew it was the only way to help Steve from the deep dark pit in his mind.

Today he reached a whole new level of insanity when he started mumbling something about streets and name of places like he wanted to make sure he was in a real place that he knew. He stared outside the confinement. His body was here but his mind was completely gone.

Then he started to talk to himself. He was talking like there was someone else with him in the room. The people outside the confinement didn't hear every word of it but from the look on Steve's face, he was already lose his mind and trapped in the illusion.

"Who did he speaking to?" She asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the poor super soldier.

"He was hallucinating, Natasha." Bruce explained "That effect could happen to him. From the old file from SHIELD, they said it likely to be one of the side effects of the super soldier serum. He will remember everything vividly like it was a video recorded in his mind."

Natasha frowned, "I will go in there."

"Are you sure you can snap him out of the illusion his mind create?"

"I have to try. If I cannot do it then who can?"

Clint wanted to stop her but Natasha quickly told JARVIS to unlock the door for her. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't see him being like this. Natasha slowly stepped close to Steve until she was near him but he couldn't sense that she was there.

Nat held him in her arms and she felt his muscle flexed at his touch but there was no struggle.

"Listen to my voice, Steve. It's time to come back to reality now. The vision you see is only in your mind. The more you hold on to it, the more it will trap you there. Come back to me. I need you, my soulmate."

Steve whimpered and refused to do so. He wasn't sure that her voice was real or just another illusion. Natasha held him tighter.

"Steve, those illusions are not real." She said again "Come back to me, my soulmate. Please don't do this to me."

Nat felt his arms wrapped around her body, his body shaking and he rested his head on her shoulder before breaking down and cried.

"I saw them again." He sobbed. "It can't be stop. I cannot stop it."

"I'm here, Steve." She gently stroked his hair "You will be alright. It's just an illusion. It's not real."

Nat held him and consoled him, told him to hang in there and she will help him in every way she can. She must let him know that he didn't do this alone. He had his new family to help him now.

Everyone could see that Steve was about to go crazy with everything but the only person to calm him down was Natasha.

The Captain finally got up from the floor and followed Natasha out of the containment room. Thor stepped forward and gave the Captain a hug. Everyone else followed and initiating a biggest group hug with Steve and Natasha trapping in the middle.

"Thanks guys." Steve said.

* * *

Natasha took Steve back to their floor and refused to leave him alone even when he insisted he was okay now.

"Natasha, I'm fine now."

"No, you won't."

Steve couldn't do anything to talk her out of this and the best thing he could do was to except it and Natasha gave him a biggest smile when he finally gave up.

The biggest surprise of the day was when Natasha decided to slide herself under the cover with him.

"We are not sleeping in the same bed." He said as he tried to get away but she took his hand.

"Don't go, Steven." She commanded "I will help you with this and we're gonna do it my way."

"I'm not going to break down again."

"I called it a precaution, cap." Natasha replied, "At least the soulmate thing can help you with it."

"Okay."

He slid back in with her and Natasha immediately wrapped her arms around his torso and resting her head on his chest. It was oddly comfortable and she liked the way his body was very warm.

Nat heard Steve sighed in defeat and smiled to herself.

"Goodnight, cap."

"Night, Natasha."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	10. The Favorite Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: 20 JUL 2015

To Natasha's surprise, Steve didn't freak out when he woke up and saw her in bed with him. He was rather calm and relaxed and held her tighter. Well, she faked to be asleep to gauge his reaction. The reaction satisfied her curiosity.

They had been sleeping in the same bed together for a week now and Natasha saw some progress on Steve's PTSD situation. Steve had less nightmares and he slept more comfortably and more peacefully. Natasha stuck close to his side all day and night to make sure he was doing okay. She had to be there to catch him if he fell again.

But overall the progress was very satisfying and the connection— _bond_  between them was strengthened. Dr. White's theory was right. Your Soulmate is the only person in the world who can help you with everything. The only one who can pull you out of the darkest pits inside your mind.

She tried to be strong for both of them, considering how fragile Steve was right now. She was trying very hard to be strong but the only matter was when it would be her turn to break. She could see Steve was trying very hard to recover from this. He blamed himself for being weak even Natasha said it was nothing and it was totally normal for humans to experience depression.

But they had to do this together in order to move past this point.

She was the only one who got time to be in Steve's company because well, Fury grounded her due to the soulmate issue between her and Steve. They still had the distance issue that they couldn't shake, no matter how hard they were trying to fix this, to find a way to cheat this.

She couldn't go out undercover or do her job. Steve was nowhere near ready to get back in the field again. He didn't pick up his shield since well, he came out of the ice. He didn't touch it even once and left it in the corner of his room but she caught him staring at it when he was trying to think.

"Maybe you should try to pick it up again." She quietly spoke up when she walked into their bedroom and found him sitting in the armchair nearby the window while he stared at his shield.

"I don't want to." He replied, "I'm not worth it. I have barely handled my stress and PTSD. I don't think I can handle it."

"You can, Steven Rogers. Because you are Captain America."

"Maybe some other time, Natasha."

Steve got up from his seat but he noticed that she was dressed up quite nice like she was about to go out.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I just feel like dressing up because, you know, I can't exactly go out because I can't be too far away from you."

"Where do you want to go?"

"What?"

"We can go out."

"Are you sure, Steve?"

"Yeah, why not? I shouldn't be the reason to keep you inside the tower and you should tell me if you want to go out."

"I'm not sure if you want to go or not."

"I would love to, Natasha." Steve said with a bright smile she hadn't seen in a while, "But you have to help me with the wardrobe. I have no idea how people dress up these days."

Nat grabbed his hand and led him into their walk-in closet and began to raid his closet and tried to find the most up-to-date clothes for Steve. Lucky for her, everyone was there when they went on a big shopping trip to buy clothes for the Captain when they had heard that Steve would be living with them.

"Here you go." She handed him his clothes but Steve looked at them with panic in his eyes.

"Are you sure it will suit me?"

"Steve, with a face and body like that you are fit to wear everything."

He blushed at that, "Thanks…"

"I will help you put it on."

Steve was trying to say no but Natasha left him no chance to protest. She pulled the thin white t-shirt off his body before she quickly pulled a grey t-shirt over his head. Her delicate hands adjusted the sleeves to fit perfectly on his biceps. He put on a dark navy blue hoodie and brown jacket.

"Turn around" He ordered when he was about to change into a pair of jeans.

"I have seen a man undressed before."

"Just turn around, okay?"

"Come on! We are soulmates! It's not weird if we see each other naked."

"It's weird for me."

Natasha sighed and turned around. Her ears still listened to his movement and decided to turn around at the perfect moment where Steve turned away from her and pulled his jeans up. Natasha madly grinned when she saw his sculpted ass.

"You have a very nice ass." She commented.

Steve shot her a deadly glare but he couldn't stop Natasha from doing anything that she wanted. She completed the look for him by putting a blue cap and glasses on and she gave him a pair of sneakers.

"We will go undercover as a hipster couple today so no one will recognize us when we go out."

"How can they recognize us?" Steve asked, confused. "Are we famous or something?"

"Well, it's mostly me who people will recognize because of the battle of New York while you are a very fine specimen and this will help prevent you from attracting every woman in this city."

Steve hesitated for a moment but when Natasha held her hand out for him, Steve quickly grabbed her hand and followed her out. He knew deep down he trusted her after everything that they had been through together.

 _"Agent Romanoff, may I ask where you and Captain Rogers_ _are_ _going?"_  JARVIS interrupted as the couple reached the elevator.

"I don't know. Just spend the day around town. That's all" Nat replied "And tell everyone, don't wait up."

_"Yes, ma'am, and have a good day."_

Natasha noticed a hoard of Avengers fans camping out at the front entrance so she dragged Steve to the garage and they took the back door out of the tower.

"You guys really are famous. Back in the 40's, I had fans camping out like that but they were mostly 12 year olds."

"The only thing that is keeping your status incognito is that SHIELD hasn't revealed that they have already found Captain America." Natasha replied, "If we do, you might want to lock yourself up in the tower."

"You know me too well. I'm not a big fan of being in a crowd."

"Don't worry. You will learn the lesson directly form the best. First of all, when you hide in plain sight. Don't run. Walk."

"These shoes will fall off if I run." Steve retorted back.

Natasha rolled her eyes, "Normal clothes like this will help you blend in with the crowd." She said, "Don't bother wearing sunglasses because people will look at you more than when you're not wearing them."

Natasha pulled her hood up to cover her fiery red hair. Steve knew she did it to avoid being noticed. Her red hair was very noticeable to be honest. The next thing Natasha did was to slip her hand in his.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked but didn't pull away. He got to admit it. He loved her small delicate hand and the feeling while he held it.

"We are a couple, remember?" She replied and gave him a very predatory smile.

Steve froze in his place when Natasha closed the space between them and leaned up to kiss him at the corner of his lips.

"You don't have to test my limits." He murmured

"I didn't" She replied, still didn't back away from him "You're my fake boyfriend and it's not weird if we are showing each other some affection."

His lips twitched up a little, "Well, Tasha." He purred her name and it send a shiver down her spine. Her name was so sexy when it rolled from his lips like that. "My girlfriend, do you have any plans for us today?"

"I have two or three places in mind."

Natasha broke the spell of the moment by pulling away and dragged Steve to her favorite café a block away from the tower. They sat at the outdoor patio to enjoy the sunny day in New York City.

"I believe Stark and Bruce already taught you how to use that thing in your hand."

"Yeah, a Starkphone and I don't even know why he bothered to give me one because I have nobody to call anymore."

Nat pulled the phone from his hand and began to explore the Captain's phone.

"I'm still confused with all this new technology. But it is really fascinating how everything has changed within 70 years." He said, "But I will get used to it very soon. Stark taught me some basics."

"No worries. I will help you with all of this." Natasha replied "When you need some help with anything, just come to me first and I will help you with it."

"Thanks…"

Steve watched as Natasha typed something into his phone before she handed it back to him.

"You have phone numbers of everyone in the tower now."

"But why is only your number in my favorite screen?" Steve asked. Brows frowned as he saw 'Soulmate' as a caller ID for herself.

"Because I'm your favorite girl."

Steve smiled but he turned away from her. She sensed he was uncomfortable with her flirting with him but he covered up with another smile like he was forcing it out. She didn't like it when he had to fake it with her.

Natasha grimaced a little and her good mood faltered a little. Steve noticed it and held her hands gently.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…" She lied "What should we have for our brunch?"

* * *

Clint and Tony had a very good time teasing them when they came back at the tower at 9 PM. Natasha shot them a deadly glare but it didn't stop them. Steve told them to stop but it didn't work either and Natasha dragged him back to their floor to end the conversation.

They took showers separately but ended up in his bed together again. She still didn't let him sleep alone even when he told her he hadn't had a nightmare in three days now but Natasha said she would not take that risk again.

Steve was prepared to go to sleep but he noticed that Natasha slipped a gun under her pillow.

They woke up again the next morning and they found themselves just having had one hell of a deepest sleep in a very long time. Steve held her tightly from behind with her back pressed tight against his chest.

Natasha pecked her lips on his cheek as a way to say good morning. Steve gave her a soft smile and kissed her forehead in return. They enjoyed this quiet peaceful moment of the morning by staying quiet, holding each other's hand and just savoring their companion.

"Would you like me to make you some breakfast?" Steve spoke up first.

"That would be lovely." Nat replied

He got up first and scooped her up in his arms. Nat spent a good 30 minutes just keeping her eyes on him, watching him moving around the kitchen. All round it was a nice morning but Clint called her, said he needed her help with the training and Steve said he had something to talk to Bruce about too.

"It's nothing to be worried about, Natasha." He ensured her.

Nat only let him go because he didn't lie. She headed out to the gym while Steve headed for the lab where he found Bruce working on his latest research project.

"Dr. Banner" Steve greeted

"Hey, cap. What can I do for you?" Bruce looked up from his work.

"I need to ask you something." The captain replied "It's about what has happened recently between me and Natasha."

Bruce put down his pen and gave Steve full attention as Steve sat down on the stool opposite of the doctor.

"Well, Natasha told me that she and I might share the nightmare or maybe a dream because she saw what I saw in my dream."

Bruce thought for a second, "It can happen, Cap. It's possible that the phenomenon might occur with the two of you."

"Why do you sound unsure about this?"

"Because something like that should happen later than… right now. Not this early. You guys just started to bond but you seem to have connected with each other on every level."

"Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's a good thing, Steve. The only downside would be you and her will need each other more than normal soulmates do." Bruce explained "This confirms one of my theories about soulmates."

"Which is?'  
"There is no specific pattern for how a couple of soulmates bond because you and Natasha are a totally different situation from me and Dr. Ross."

"The conclusion is that Natasha and I have to experience it by ourselves and there is no way I can plan anything ahead of time."

"Yes" Bruce nodded "It will be easier if you let her in completely. Open up to her will help you with this. Everything will go smoother and faster than you can expect once you let her in, everything will fit in the right place almost instantaneously."

Steve only nodded, "Thank you for the clarification, Doctor."

"You're welcome, cap."

* * *

Clint kept her with him all day so they could finally talk without Steve around Nat and the archer could get honest answers from her. He asked about everything that had happened in her life lately and how the adjustment was going. To his surprise, Natasha answered everything.

"I think we are okay, you know, if I compare everything from when we first met."

"At least he has comes to his senses about treating his soulmate the right way."

"I know he is trying to treat me better but sometimes I can't help but feel like he is pretending to be happy for my sake."

"Give him some time, Tasha." Clint suggested "I believe he will finally fall in love with you."

They talked a lot about this matter and Clint made his best afford to provide Natasha with positive thoughts. But JARVIS interrupted their conversation to inform the spy that Steve asked for her at their floor.

"Tell him I will be there in 5 minutes."

She hugged Clint and walked out of the gym heading for her floor. When she walked into the living area, she found candles everywhere leading to their dining room where Steve had set up everything nicely.

"I hope you don't mind." He said sheepishly "I cooked us dinner."

"Wow..." That was all she could say "You did all of this?"

"Yes, for you." He smiled brightly

"Thank you"

"You can take a shower first. Lamb will be ready in 15 minutes."

Natasha couldn't resist and give Steve a kiss on his cheek. The Captain's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a little. Natasha couldn't resist a smirk and quickly hit the shower. When she came out, Natasha found out her Captain had set up the table and decorated her plate. He smiled and pulled the chair out for her.

She sat down and Steve leaned forward to kiss her on the neck. Natasha tensed up but the feeling she got inside of her was really good.

"Hope you like it." He said.

And she did like it. His culinary skills were superb and it added a bonus point to her soulmate. Natasha found herself thinking that she was one hell of a lucky girl to have Steve Rogers with her. His crusted roasted lamb was a food from heaven. The wine he picked complimented their main course very well.

Steve actually smiled honestly at her.

"I like it when you don't have to force a smile for me." She spoke up, feeling the need to make it clear for both of them. "Like I said you never have to fake or pretend anything when you are with me. We are supposed to be honest with each other, right? And I can feel that sometimes I force you to be happy."

"Natasha…"

"Like the other day, I know you faked a smile. You didn't like it when I flirted with you."

"Natasha…listen."

"I just want it to be real. I want the real you."

"I didn't pretend or anything, Natasha. I just didn't know how to react or how to be in a relationship." Steve interrupted "I obviously don't know how to handle it when a woman—a very beautiful woman flirts with me. I want the best for both of us too but I don't want to force you to love me or anything."

"Then I will make it clear, Steve Rogers. I want to be with you all the time and maybe the feeling inside of me isn't love right now but I kinda want to be with you and figure this out with you."

"I would love for you to be with me all the time too, Natasha." He said "And this time I wasn't lying. I really need you more than you could ever know."

"I know because…"

"You can read me like an open book."

"Yes, I can." She smiled "What do you think about visiting SHIELD tomorrow with me? I can show you around."

"That would be lovely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> \- Please check out my new story, "Bad Romance" It's a Teacher/student AU
> 
> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse  
> \- Beta read by captain-romanogers
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	11. The Different Side of the Same Coin

**11: The Different Side of the Same Coin**

Steve offered to take Nat for a ride with him on his motorcycle. She was okay with it and ended up telling him the directions all the way to the Triskellion. Everyone who was in the main lobby that morning was surprised to see the Black Widow dragging a man into the building with her.

"Ma'am, we cannot let him inside." The guard said.

"He's with me." Natasha replied and tried to scare the man with her deadly glare.

"Natasha, I can wait for you in the lobby." Steve tried to solve the situation before they both got thrown out of the building but Natasha raised her hand up to stop him,

"I have important matters to discuss with Director Fury and this man is my soulmate so you know that I cannot be away from him. If he doesn't come with me, you may have to explain to the Director how I cannot be there to attend the meeting."

And it worked. The guy stepped away but gave Steve a security badge in exchange for his ID card. Natasha grinned devilishly because she knew the security guy will have a heart attack when he saw the name.

"You-You're Captain America?" He asked.

"In the past, yes but right now I'm kinda grounded with…her."

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't recognize you."

Nat waved the guy off before he started to fangirling like her handler Coulson. They took the elevator up to Fury's office where the secretary told them that Fury was having a meeting with Maria Hill right now. They sat and waited while the secretary observed the couple openly. Natasha could tell that the secretary was very jealous that she had a very fine specimen in her arms like this.

Not to mention that he was Captain America.

They didn't have to wait for long. Maria came out five minutes later and gave them a nod.

"The director will see you now."

They got up and Steve followed her inside the director's office. Nat secretly slipped her hand in his as they walked but she hid their hands behind their backs.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff." Fury turned to them with his full attention, "Haven't see you in a while. I see you and Captain Rogers finally get along."

"Yes, sir." They both replied at the same time.

"What brings you two here today?"

"I would like to ask permission to take Captain Rogers and show him around SHIELD."

"Okay, permission granted." Fury said "Show him around, tell him about everything we do around here and make him feel at home."

"Of course, sir." Natasha nodded

"Go now."

Natasha dragged Steve out of the office right away. She knew just the place to show him and she knew he would like it.

* * *

Natasha took them back to the main lobby again and led him to the Wall of Valor. She knew it was the first place he would want to see in this entire establishment. He needed to know that there was always brave men and women who willing to sacrifice themselves to protect freedom and innocent lives. People who uphold and shared the same belief of Captain America.

"The Wall of Valor?" Steve asked. Eyes moving to read every name on it.

"Memorial to the fallen agent of SHIELD and the old SSR units." Natasha told "We have this wall in every SHIELD facilities"

His eyes stopped at one name. The only name that he knew on this wall.

"What is it?" Natasha asked when she saw Steve's entire body tensed up.

He didn't reply but he gently traced his fingers on that name. His stare was blank as he fell into his deep trance of thought. Nat tried to call him again but he didn't reply. He began to shake and shut his eyes tightly.

And Nat knew he was having an episode.

"Steve! You are hallucinating again! Snap out of it!" The spy shook his arms lightly and Steve turned to her immediately.

"I'm sorry." He said "I just thinking about…the train and the falling."

Natasha hugged him tightly and Steve hugged her back, resting his head at the crook of her neck.

"Thanks." He whispered "What would I do without you?"

"Yeah, it's good to know that you need me." Natasha smiled a little "You're okay now?"

"Yeah"

She let go of him before she took him to somewhere else. They headed to Wall of the Founders where there were names and pictures of people who helped found SHIELD. There was a picture of Peggy, Howard and Colonel Phillips. Natasha was worried that Steve might began to hallucinate again.

But it was the good sign that he just stared blankly at all the picture.

"Those were my friends in the Howling Commandos." Steve told "Peggy, Howard…"

"You should be proud. You inspired them to continue to live on with what you believe."

"I don't know that I inspired people that much."

"Come on, you're the Captain of America."

Steve chuckled at the name she gave him. They moved on to walk around the facility and Natasha showed him the gym, the training center, and they ended up at her small office, drinking coffee from the coffee maker Clint gave her.

"Agent Harvey!" Natasha shouted loudly from her chair.

The agent that Natasha called came running into her office, terrified.

"This is my order for mine and Captain Rogers' brunch and if we didn't get it in ten minutes, you will…."  
"Of course, Agent Romanoff. Right away!" The young agent said and ran off.

Steve looked at her, "You don't need to do that."

"Well, I'm the Black Widow and this is how I run this place."

"I thought Fury run this place."

"Ha ha ha ha" Natasha sarcastically laughed "I need to maintain my scary, deadly reputation around here so Clint and I scared those new intern every now and then."

Steve never thought being with Natasha will be this much fun. Seeing her doing all these crazy thing around SHIELD, pulling pranks on SHIELD personal.

It was wrong of him to judge her when they first met. She was actually more than the mask she wanted people to perceive her as. He loved discovering the new side of her and every time she seemed to amaze him with her amazing self.

It wasn't that bad if he only opened up to her.

* * *

After a small brunch in her office, Natasha took them to the main cafeteria to give Steve a little heart attack. She knew he was always nervous when he was in the middle of the crowd. Nat saw Clint sitting at a table with Tony and Bruce so she walked towards them.

"Hey guys!" Nat greeted as they approached the table.

"Hey, Red! Didn't know that you're here today" Tony said.

"Did Fury call you guys here?" She narrowed her eyes because they were here for a reason.

"Well, technically, He wants us to watch over you guys in case something happen."

The couple frowned at the three men at the same time. Steve didn't say anything but Natasha felt the urge to protect her soulmate.

"He's not gonna attack me."

"It's not that, Tasha." Clint replied

"Don't you dare lie to me, Barton." Natasha screeched and Steve had to hold her back before she attacked the archer.

"Yeah, hes kinda afraid Cap might lose his shit and kill you."

"Which is why I told him Steve will not hurt Natasha in any case." Bruce chimed in "But he wants us here anyway."

Nat folded her arms and sighed.

"Agent Matthew! This is my lunch order." Nat told another intern on her list of people to scare the shit out of him.

Steve sat down next to her and Tony and Bruce began to talk about things that Steve should do around SHIELD and Steve had to listen to Tony's plan to sneak around the facility and the hidden archive while Natasha and Clint were discussing the mission he was about to take.

"It had seriously had everything." Tony said "Every secret of everyone from the past to present."

"And may I know why you knew all about this?"

"Bruce and I sneaked around last time but the Red Menace caught us before we dug into the real shit."

The moment Tony and Bruce turned to Steve, the Captain was gone.

"Where the hell is he?" Tony muttered "Red! Your soulmate's gone!"

Natasha turned around, "How the hell? You let him out of your sight?!" The spy yelled at him.

"It's supposed to be your duty as his soulmate to keep your watch on him."

Natasha got up and looked around the cafeteria but she couldn't locate Steve around here. But she didn't feel the pain or her vision turning back to black and white. Natasha began to run off to find her soulmate before the pain came back.

"Maria! There is an emergency!" The spy said loudly and seriously

Natasha burst in the command center where Maria, Agent Sitwell, and Coulson were discussing about the mission. Bruce, Tony and Clint huddled in with her.

"What is it, Natasha?"

"We have someone run lose in this building." Natasha told "Steve magically disappeared!"

"So you lost your soulmate?" Hill inquired

"Yeah, and he could be lost into some of your super-secret basements!"

Maria looked at them like the Avengers were a little child before she turned to her agents.

"Alright everyone! Stop whatever you're doing and find Captain America."

* * *

When Steve heard about the super-secret archive, the first thing he thought about was how much information he could find. The truth. The truth that Fury and his agent hadn't told him when he woke up. The second thought was that how much he could learn about Natasha.

Well, the second reason was more important than the first. He knew Natasha will not have told him everything about herself. He didn't know why but he really liked to know why she was the person she was.

He just wanted to know but to be honest, he didn't have the guts to ask her directly and Natasha was likely not telling anything if he ask her.

He found the SHIELD secret archive located on the six floor disguised as an empty storage room that was not occupied. He dodged all the surveillance systems perfectly and broke into the archive.

He located Natasha's file first and he found it along with the rest of the Avengers File. He quickly opened it to find that the document wasn't black out like the one they gave him to read. This one revealed every detail about the spy.

Steve quickly read it, page by page, sentence by sentence, and took in every little information about her. The more he discovered, the more he understand why she is who she is today and why she was trying to hide her past from him or not even mention about it.

_**Summary of Personnel File: Natasha Romanoff (born Natalia Alianovna Romanova)** _

_**Code Name: Black Widow Restricted Access: LEVEL 7** _

_**DOB: 11/22/1984 Place of Birth: Volgograd, USSR, Russia** _

_**Status: ACTIVE - AGENT Document Citizenship: Russia/United States** _

_**Race: Caucasian Gender: Female Dental: None** _

_**Height: 5' 5'' Weight: 135 lb. Hair: Red Eyes: Green** _

_**Languages: English, Russian, Italian, Latin, German, French, Mandarin, Kashmiri, and more** _

_**Family: Parents Unknown - Presumed Deceased** _

_**Education: Extensive Training by KGB and Red Room** _

_**Employment: - Spy/Assassin - KGB/Red Room** _

_**\- SHEILD Agent** _

_**Aliases: Natasha Romanoff, Natalie Rushman, Oktober,** _

_**Mission Qualification: Highly trained in judo, karate, aikido, savate, boxing, and multiple styles of kung fu. Expert acrobat, Olympic class gymnast, athlete and aerialist. Expert marksmanship in sharpshooting and knife throwing. Master interrogator and tactician. Master shills in espionage, infiltration, disguise and demolition has put her in the highest ranking as an agent of SHIELD.** _

_**Equipment: SHIELD special designed combat suit.** _

_**Weapon: Widow Stings, Handguns (Walther PPK/S, Glock 26), Taser Disks, Flash bangs, Garrote, Daggers** _

_***Special Remark: Recently found her soulmate, Captain Steven Rogers AKA Captain America. She was grounded along with Captain Rogers for the time being until they establish bond strong enough for field work.** _

"Captain Rogers! Meet up with Agent Romanoff at the command center." Steve heard the PA blaring from outside but he didn't care and continued to read the file.

_**Natasha Romanoff was recruited to RED ROOM, Russia's cover espionage facility, where she endured both education and indoctrination into the world of spy craft. Natasha excelled in this strict training environment and soon became regarded as a master spy and one of the world's greatest assassins. Due to both her expertise and her growing threat to the global security, Romanoff quickly appeared on SHIELD's radar.** _

She had a deep dark past. Darker than him and he never ever met anyone who have been through hell the way she did before. It made Steve wonder whether she will willing to tell him about all of this or not.

_**Pre SHIELD Mission/Assassination Target (Identified):** _

_**\- Kiev's Hospital Fire (57 dead, 128 injured), Primary target eliminated.** _

_**\- Drakoff Assassination, Drakoff Family eliminated.** _

_**\- Sao Paulo Bombing (47 dead, 87 injured), Target eliminated.** _

_**\- Belgian Ambassador Assassination, Primary Target Eliminated, Secret File Secured** _

_**\- SHIELD infiltration (3 Dead) File Stolen** _

_**\- Dr. Michael Kingston Assassination and Newark Science Facility Bombing** _

_**\- Car Bomb in Israel (28 Dead, 39 Injured) All Target Eliminated** _

_**Unidentifiable Mission/Assassination Target: 135 Missions** _

_**Body Count: 376** _

_**Director Fury of SHIELD sends Agent Clint Barton to eliminate her. Agent Barton disobeyed this order, recognizing her skill and recommending she be recruited for SHIELD. At the behest of Director Fury, Romanoff later defected from Russia and joined the ranks of SHEILD.** _

_**Agent Romanoff is a master in all the elements of espionage including hand-to-hand combat, interrogation, disguise, hacking encrypted computer system, and infiltrating secure locations. As a part of STRIKE TEAM DELTA, Romanoff now has a functioning partnership with Clint Barton, who played a key role in her escape from Red Room and subsequent defection.** _

_**STRIKE TEAM DELTA: OPERATIONS REPORTS** _

_**ABIDJAN- OPID:12.6.T.5604** _

_**Due to highly unstable of the area, SHIELD research camp was sieged by terrorist organization. (SHIELD research team was gathering unknown metal (Later identified as object of unknown origin or ) the mine outside of the city.) Director Fury ordered STRIKE TEAM DELTA in search and rescue mission and eliminated hostile.** _

_**BUDAPEST- OPID:52.2.F.987** _

_**Agent Romanoff was send to gather information of a well-known…** _

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" A voice bellowed from above Steve.

The Captain looked up and found his furious soulmate hanging from the ceiling and jumped down to stand next to him. He was about to explain but Natasha's face turned into what he identified as horror when she saw the file in his hand.

Steve's eyes widened when he realized how much he made Natasha pissed off. Before he could do anything, she snarled something in Russian and used her Widow's Bite and shorted him the ground.

* * *

Pissed off wasn't the word to describe how Natasha felt right now. Steve went behind her back and read her personal file. Her personal file that only Fury can read it. She couldn't believe that he will break into the super-secret archive without trigger any warning and duck information about her rather than asked her directly.

But that was what make Natasha think about it. If Steve did ask her directly, was she brave enough to tell him the truth about her deep dark past. All of it.

She didn't know that he will be able to accept it or not. Everyone will tend to stay away from her if they knew the truth about her.

"It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you wiped off that much red?"

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakoff's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital file? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away."

Yes, Loki got through her and his word haunted her every time. His word rang in her head when she thought about the horrible thing she done with the Red Room. How could someone will be able to love her and thrust her completely with that much red in her ledger.

Yeah, she was disgusting. No wonder why everyone was afraid of her let alone trust her.

She had no friend because of her past. No one wanted to be friend with the deadliest assassin on earth. She didn't want to be friend with anyone too because she was afraid that her past might endanger them. But it took broken people like the Avengers to understand her and accepted her from who she really was.

And she hoped Steve does the same.

Her green eyes locking at the unconscious super soldier who was passed out by her widow's bite to his neck. She was angry and he deserved it.

Steve was slowly began to shift and opened his eyes. He blinked for a couple time to adjust his vision and saw Natasha sat across their bed. Her eyes were fixing at him but her face was blank.

"I'm sorry." He knew that she was angry.

"Save it."

He got up and went to her, knelt down in front of Natasha, "I'm truly sorry. Let me explain."

"You don't have to." Her voice had gone cold and Steve felt worse than he already was.

"I just want to know more about you. The real you, your past, your present. I only wanted to learn more about you because you didn't tell me a thing about your past or what you did before you came to SHIELD and I doubt that you will answer truthfully if I ask you."

Her mask slipped for a moment and Steve knew he spoke the truth.

"There are some disturbing past that I rarely told anyone. It's disgusting and people tend to judge me from my past. You will too."

"I'm your soulmate." He said, "I supposed to listen to you."

"You don't need to know."

"Please, Natasha."

She looked into his eyes and kept quiet for a long time. She needed to gauge her decision whether to trust him or not. She didn't know what his reaction will be. She was about to let him into her world and let him knew something she never ever told anyone but Clint and Fury.

But her soul told her that she could trust this man but he instinct said otherwise. It was a gambling but the way he looking at her right now only made it hard for her not to talk to him.

"Natasha, do not fear of me. I'm your soulmate."

"Please don't hate me after you know who I really am." She whispered her worst fear to him

"I will not hate you or judge you. You have my word." He replied calmly and softly that made Natasha began to relax.

The spy kept quiet for a moment, mulling over about where to start telling him. Steve patiently waited for her to tell him. He didn't want to push her.

Finally, she inhaled sharply and began to tell him everything. Literally told him everything from the start.

"Before I begin with this, you need to know something about me." Natasha said, "I have a Red Room variant of the super soldier serum in my vain and I am not born in 1984. I live longer than you thought. My real date of birth is 22 November 1942"

"What do you mean?"

"It means I am only 24 years younger than you." Natasha explained, "I'm 71 years old."

"Oh…"

"I've seen the world change before my eyes."

That was the beginning of her story. Steve listened intently and paid her full attention. Natasha told him everything.

She was raised by Ivan Petrovich as her surrogate father. He had been given custody of little Natasha by a woman just before her death during the Battle of Stalingrad in autumn in 1942. Then she joined the U.S.S.R.'s "Black Widow Ops" program. Petrovitch had taken her to Department X, with other young female orphans, where she was brainwashed, and trained in combat and espionage at the covert "Red Room" facility. There, she is biotechnologically and psycho-technologically enhanced—an accounting that provides a rationale for her unusually long and youthful lifespan.

While she was brainwashed, she was deployed with false memories to help ensure her loyalty. , including the fact that she had never, as she had believed, been a ballerina. She went on various missions and assassinated everyone they told her to do. She appeared in SHIELD radar. Fury sent Barton to kill but he made a different call.

"That's all" She concluded, "You can judge me all you want now, Steve. There is no hard feeling."

"Natasha…I cannot judge you from your past. I once did that and I feel bad about it until today. You're not what they made you to be. You choose your own path now. You choose your own life, Natasha. Your red in ledger is already wipe off with all the good deeds you did."

Steve reached his hand out and grabbed her hand. She looked up at him and saw how understanding he was and she felt the weight in her heart disappeared.

"Thank you" Nat said and smiled softly at him.

"Can I ask you something else?" He asked and she nodded, "Have you ever been in love?"  
"Steve…"

"Please tell me"

"Twice and I regret it."

"Why?"

"My ex-husband Alexei, we got married because The KGB wanted us to be each other's life mate, hoping that we could see colour so we will bind together and working for them for eternity but it's not working so they separate us. They made me who I'm today and turned Alexei into the Red Guardian."

"What about your second love?"

"He's my mentor in the Black Widow program. I genuinely love him but I didn't see the colour, nothing working until you."

Steve went silent for a long time but didn't let go of her hand.

"The only love I have is Peggy until you." He said.

"You can ask me anything from now on, Steve. You don't have to worry about anything. Because if I am brave enough to tell you all of my past, I think I can tell you everything."

"I will" He said "And you can ask me anything too."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> \- Please check out my new story, "Bad Romance" It's a Teacher/student AU
> 
> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	12. The Make up

Everything turned out to rather well for Steve and Natasha after the Archive Break in incident. To everyone's surprise, the two came back downstairs together in one piece. Steve obviously didn't have any scratches on him, which they bet a lot of money on thinking he would have a broken arm from pissing Natasha off.

Natasha excused herself up to their floor while Steve hung around in the living area with the team after dinner. He had something to ask Stark about.

"Just spit it out, Cap." Tony spoke up.

"Uh...can I ask you something, Tony?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Do you have any seclude place that I can take Natasha for a week? I want to surprise her with this getaway."

"Are you going to murder her or something?" Tony asked. Eye widened.

"No! I just want to take her somewhere. Like a date."

"Hmm? What do you think, Pepper?" Tony turned to his life mate who sat next to him.

"Our island in the Caribbean would be nice. It's our private island. It should keep you away from nosy eyes of reporters." Pepper suggested "May I ask Captain? What made you change your mind about Natasha?"

Steve knew right then that everyone took Natasha's side but the way Pepper looked at him. Steve knew the CEO would hunt him down if he hurt Natasha or she would kill him right away if he didn't give her the right answer.

"Uh, I was kinda a jerk to her before but now I've realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I want to make it up to her in every way I can and Natasha deserves a lot better than what I did to her in the past."

His answer warmed Pepper somehow and the CEO's lips twitched up a little.

"Private Jet will be waiting for you at the airport tomorrow."

* * *

Natasha was preparing to take a shower when she sensed someone's presence.

"Come out of the air duct, Barton!" She yelled and threw her knife at the air duct above her.

Clint yelped loudly before dropping from the air vent, "You don't need to do that, Nat."

"You shouldn't be sneaking around like this."

"Yeah, I'm a SHIELD agent. I never do anything normal!" Clint said before popped down on her bed.

"What are you doing here?" Natasha asked.

"Well, I came to discuss your situation with Captain Tight Ass." Clint replied casually, "I guess you and him have a very nice situation going on."

"You can say that. At least, we talk more. He's willing to listen to me and he didn't judge me when I told him about my past."

Clint only nodded and intently listened.

"I know he is trying very hard." Natasha continued, "I can say that I beginning to enjoy my time with him"

"Don't worry, you guys will have your happy ending."

"Why are you being so optimistic?"

"I still have my hopes of finding my soulmate, Nat."

Before Natasha could reply she heard the elevator dinged, that must be her soulmate. She heard footsteps coming to her room.

"Go now." Natasha commanded and Clint jumped up to his air vent.

"See ya sucker!" and with that followed by two knives thrown by Natasha.

Steve opened the door to her room.

"Hey, is everything okay? I heard you talk to someone. And what 's with the knives up there?" The Captain asked and pointed at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just talking to Clint." She replied and went up to him.

"Can we talk?" His voice turned serious.

Natasha knew something must be coming up and she was afraid that some drama might be coming up too.

"Yeah sure thing" But she accepted him anyway.

He closed the space between them and held her hands gently, "I need you to pack up your thing…."

"Are you kicking me out?" She interrupted, "ARE YOU KICKING YOUR OWN SOULMATE OUT?!"

"Natasha! It's supposed to be a surprise but tomorrow we will head out to Caribbean."

That shut Natasha up for a good one minute while she was trying to process what he just told her. She tried to say something but there was nothing leaving her mouth.

"This is the first time I've made you speechless." He noted and Nat threw a light punch at his arm.

"Don't be so smug." She fired back, "And are you sick or something?"

"No, I cannot get sick. The serum in my veins literally wipe all the sickness out of my life."

"Then why are we going to the Caribbean?"

"I want to make everything up to you, Natasha. For all the bad things I have done to you. I was a jerk and it was real stupid of me to do all those things to you without thinking. And for breaking into SHIELD's super-secret archive and read your file, that was very inconsiderate, inappropriate and I shouldn't have done it." He explained, "So are we going or not?"

Natasha gave him a bright smile, "I would love to."

* * *

"You don't have to bring your shield with you, Steven." Natasha said as she was looking at their pile of luggage.

"You don't have to bring your guns either, Natasha." Steve retorted, "We are going to have a nice vacation and nothing will happen."

"Are you saying that there will be no wild animal attacking us?"

"Yes, there will be no wild animal attacking us." Steve insisted.

"Are you guys done?" Happy asked as he was waiting for them to finish with their arguing.

The couple entered a staring contest before Steve spoke up first.

"Fine, you can bring your guns but I get to bring my shield as well."

Happy helped them with the luggage and took the elevator down to the garage while Natasha and Steve said goodbye to their friends.

"Don't kill each other, okay?" Pepper asked

"Just don't blow our house up." Tony agreed.

"Guys, don't worry. We're good now." Natasha reassured them again "We will be back in a week."

Everyone wished them a good luck before they met up with Happy down at the garage and went straight to the airport. The Stark industries private jet was already waiting for them. Natasha shoved sunglasses and baseball cap into Steve's hands.

"Wear it!" Steve complied, "It will help conceal your identity."

"What identity?"

Natasha didn't answer but got out of the car and went straight to the private jet. The attendant greeted her cheerfully,

"Good morning, Miss Rushman."

"Good morning, Irene." Natasha replied

Steve only gave the flight attendant a nod and followed Natasha inside the plane. They sat next to each other. The captain announced that the plane will take off in ten minutes. Steve planted his hands tightly on the armrest.

Natasha noticed it and grabbed his hand, He looked at her and saw how understanding she was. She knew he might be frighten by this.

"You should let go of the armrest before you break it, Steve. You don't want to hear Stark bitching about it when we get back." She said and tried to pull his hand off, "Come on, you can hold my hand."

"I don't want to unintentionally hurt you." He said through gritted teeth and gripped tighter to his armrest "Natasha, I can break your hands."

"No, you won't." Natasha insisted before Steve slowly let go of armrest.

Natasha brought his arm to wrap around her shoulder before Natasha leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Her other hand slipped into his hand.

"Ummm, this is perfect." She murmured "God, why are you always so warm?"

"Doctor Erskine told me it is because the serum increases my metabolic rate."

"I like it."

Steve began to relax as Natasha slowly falling asleep. Steve couldn't do anything but hold Natasha in his arms and made sure she was sleeping comfortably.

Steve spent a good amount of time watching her peaceful form and couldn't help but slowly fall asleep as well.

* * *

"Mr. Rogers, Miss Rushman, we arrived at the airport." The flight attendant woke the couple up.

Natasha mumbled something but didn't let go of Steve and snuggled further in his embrace.

"Can you give us a moment?"

"Of course." She told "The car will wait for you outside and the driver will take you to the pier to your speed boat."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The attendant left them alone. Steve sat still and finally, Natasha began to stir and hug him tighter. When she realized Steve was still holding her, she decided to push his limit further.

"Carry me to the car." She commanded and felt Steve tensed up a little and didn't say anything in reply.

Then he got up and left her there on the seat. It left Nat with a worse feeling than she'd ever had. Nat thought that they were moving forward but now they were back to square one again.

But then a sudden warmth envelop her as she felt him draping a blanket on her before scooping her up bridal style. Nat smiled and closed her eyes again.

"Where to, Mr. Rogers?" The driver asked

"The pier where Tony has his speedboat, please"

"Yes, sir."

When they arrived at the pier, Natasha insisted that she would drive the speedboat and Steve should trust her with it.

"I'm not gonna crash it." She told and got behind the wheel.

"I trust you."

They made it to the island safely and Steve carried everything into the house for them to find that Tony did install JARVIS in this beach house too.

"Evening, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff." JARVIS greeted them, "I will be at your service in case you need anything."

"Thanks, J." Nat said "Can you show us to our room?"

"Of course, ma'am."

The lights lite up and led them to the ocean view bed room.

"I can order everything you want from the main island and it will be delivered to the island."

"What do you have in the fridge now?" Steve asked

"Almost everything that human uses to cook food, sir."

"Great." The captain said. "What do you think about tonights dinner?'

"Don't know. Why don't we stroll the beach and relaxing for now?"

"Okay."

Steve unpacked their luggage but once he turned to talk to Natasha, he found a bare smooth expand of her back and he quickly turned back.

"What are you doing, Natasha?"

"Changing into my bikini so we can stroll on the beach or maybe enjoy the sun or the sea."

"Let's finish unpacking first."

"It can wait. Come on, Rogers!"

Steve did things too slow and Nat had to step in and did everything by herself. She found surfing shorts and pushed it in his hand. Steve tried to protest when Natasha began to unbutton his shirt quickly.

"Better get used to me stripping you off, Rogers. You don't know when Fury will decide it is the right time for us to go undercover as a married couple."

"You must miss it like crazy, being on the field and going undercover."

"You have no idea."

When his upper body was bare for her eyes to see. She took a moment to appreciate the magnificent sight in front of her. Thank you to Dr. Erskine for his serum and she was sure that Steve was way more gorgeous than Thor.

She couldn't help but touch his sculpted chest and traced her hand down his chiseled abs.

"If you don't mind, I will change into these shorts now." He spoke up

Natasha immediately withdrew her hand and turned away to give him a little privacy that she was sure she would violate again because she liked watching his muscle move. Steve turned around to see Natasha staring at him again, to be more specific, she was staring at his butt.

"Hurry up, grandpa, suns almost set. Judging by the amount of time for you to change your clothes."

Steve let Natasha drag him out of the house.

* * *

It ended up with them sitting on the beach and enjoying the peaceful sunset together. It became quite normal for them now to have an easy and long conversation without it ending in an argument. Steve opened up about himself more but she knew he was still hiding something.

There was some part in his life he was trying to keep to himself because he wasn't sure if that when the truth came to light, she might change the way she saw him. Because everyone will always see him as Captain America, not the real him, not Steve Rogers, the kid from Brooklyn. Natasha made a secret vow to herself that she will destroy every wall Steve was trying to build.

Even when the sun had already disappeared and only the stars occupied the blackest sky, the couple were still talking and exchanging their list of personal preferences.

Then Natasha began to name the constellations in the sky. Steve was surprised at how much she knew about stars and space. Her eyes were on the starry sky but Steve's were on her beautiful face and were marveling at how beautiful she was and how her green eyes sparkled with happiness.

"When I was trained by the Red Room, they taught us to remember stars because it could help us know our current location when we were lost."

"That's pretty amazing."

"Thanks" She turned on her side and smiled at him, "What about Captain America? Did they teach you anything back in the day?"

"Well, it was pretty much what was written in the file." He replied, "I can draw but I acquired this skill long before I became Captain America. I am an Arts student and I also worked as an illustrator."

"You must be very good at it."

"You can say that. It was the only thing I was good at before I turned into this." He gestured his buff body, "But the side effect of the serum mean I have a photographic memory. I can remember every little tiny detail and draw them accurately."

"Anything that you want to capture in particular?"

"Since I woke up, everythings shaken me to my very foundation but they all also amazed me. The only downside is that I don't want to do it anymore." He looked sad so Natasha had to wrap her arms around his big frame, "The same thing goes for my shield."

"You will fully get back on your feet soon, Steve. I've been with you every day and I can see that you've made a lot of progress."

He placed a kiss on her forehead. That was the most intimate thing he had ever done to her. They laid down together quietly and savored the peaceful moment until they felt the cold wind blow and Natasha shivered in his arms.

"Maybe we should get back inside before you catch a cold." He suggested.

"Yeah, we should."

Steve gently picked Natasha up in his arms and carried her back inside the house. Natasha loved how gentle he was with her lately. She could see that he was a changed man now compared to when they first met.

It was getting better every day they were together. He finally let her in and accepted her as his soulmate.

They took a shower separately before they met up at the master bed room. Natasha leaned back on the bed, indulgently watching her soulmate who wore only sweatpants and white tank top. Steve sat down next to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

It wasn't her sleepwear or anything that took him off guard but it was when she put her gun under the pillow and one hand clenching at the gun.

It must be her training, Steve thought to himself. Or maybe her spy instinct.

He will fix it, he vowed to himself, his soulmate will feel safe and secure around him, enough to make her forget about her gun. It wasn't the good way to live, to be alarmed all the time, afraid that someone might kill you while you were asleep.

Steve wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder blade, "Goodnight, Natasha."

"Good night, Steve."

* * *

They spent most of the next couple of days outside the house. Natasha rented them snorkeling gear, scuba diving gears, and a metal detector for a scavenging hunt. Steve couldn't say no to her because the childish smile that Natasha gave him was making him say yes every time.

If she was happy then he was happy too.

They did have a very good time and a lot of fun. Natasha was like a little child when they walked along the beach with a metal detector and screamed every time they found something even it turned out to be a garbage.

Steve had more luck in finding the treasure though. When Natasha finally gave up and sat down, soaking up the sun, he got a chance to use the detector and found a silver ring and a small gold medallion.

"Why are you luckier than me?" She asked when Steve came back to her.

She swore that the captain looked very proud that he found something when he showed it to her.

"Which one do you choose?" He asked back

"I will go with the gold medallion."

"On a second thought…I think I will keep it."

"You suck, Rogers!"

He laughed at her and Natasha initiating a brawl on the sand. She was able to hold Steve in a choke hold before he surrendered. Well, he didn't want to hurt her so he let her win. It was overall a pretty fun day and left them both exhausted when they got home.

The next day, Natasha just wanted to sleep and woke up again at noon. She was fully recharged and Steve had to follow her outside the house because she wanted a sun bath. This time it was completely taken to the next level. When Steve done with applying the sunscreen to her, Natasha took her top off and Steve covered his eyes.

"Natasha! What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't want to have a bikini line. I want my skin tanned equally everywhere."

"Put it back on!"

"NOOO"

It ended up with Steve had to use her magazine to cover his face the whole time and Natasha had a very good time teasing him about it. Steve blushed deep red on his ears. He muttered something that Natasha didn't catch. When they were done with sun bathing, Natasha got her a beautiful tan whereas Steve got a sunburn and that made Natasha laughed and quickly snapped their picture together.

"Come on, soldier. Let's get back inside the house."

* * *

Steve woke up the next day and found that Natasha was still asleep. He gently untangled himself from her, being extremely careful not to wake her up and get shot in the face. He wrote her a small note before silently padding downstairs to prepare their breakfast.

Ten minutes later, Natasha walked into the kitchen and greeted him cheerfully. It was just as he had suspected. She had woken up precisely ten minutes after he woke up because he wasn't near her.

He made her pancakes, eggs and bacon. Natasha suggested that they should go try fishing today so they could get something for their last dinner of this holiday session because tomorrow they will be heading back to New York.

But they ended up at the fish market on the main island because Natasha could easily change her mind. Steve picked up sea brass for them before they picked up other ingredients for tonight.

This marked the first time Steve cooked something sophisticated and complicated for her. To be honest, he was really good at cooking and Natasha loved it. Steve looked proud when she told him that. After that, they were sharing a nice quiet time together, sipping the white wine.

Steve looked into her beautiful green eyes and gently grabbed her hands, "I want to thank you for everything, Natasha. For being extremely patient with me even when I'm being a total asshole." He said sincerely "I bet you've tried to shoot me for a couple times, haven't you?"

"You have no idea, soldier." She smiled at him teasingly.

"I'm sorry about that." He looked down at her hands but Natasha cupped her hands between his face, "But it is because of you that I am not completely losing my mind."

"You're welcome, soldier." She replied, "But there will be no more apologizing because you already say it."

"But I will not stop making up for it." He insisted, "Because I still have a lot to make up."

"Fine…I will let you spoil me as much as you can because I kinda like it."

"Yes, ma'am." Steve smiled and kissed the palm of her hand.

"Do you think you can tell me more about you?" Natasha said

"Like what?"

"Everything."

"I will." He nodded, "When we get back, I have something to show you. It's the first thing you should know about me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	13. The Promise

"Hey! You guys got very nice tans there." That was the greeting received when Steve and Natasha walked into the living area of the Tower. Tony came into their line of sight first, "Did you guys get a naked tan?"

Natasha gave Tony a death stare but Steve's face turned bright red.

"Holy shit! You guys did it!"

"No, we are didn't!" Steve suddenly yelled

"It's not your business, Stark!" Natasha yelled also.

"Just tell me!" Tony excitingly shaking both of them, "I need the details so I can imagine it in my head!"

"Stop yelling at each other." Pepper interrupted.

"Steve closes his eyes every time I take my top off."

"Why you are suddenly change sides?!" Steve asked his soul mate. His face turned bright red again, "Natasha did that to torture me."

"Yeah, seeing him turned all red is my absolute favorite thing."

Everyone was smiling to themselves when they saw the couple bantered with each other and this vacation gave a very nice outcome. Steve and Natasha seemed to bond and begin to learn to live with each other.

"I love to see you guys getting along." Clint said.

"This way you two can bond faster than expected." Bruce agreed.

"Yeah, we're indeed bonding, doctor." Steve told him.

The rest of team had a very good time teasing Steve and Natasha about it until Steve had enough and pulled Natasha back to their floor so they could live in peace.

* * *

Steve and Natasha were having a very good sleep together in their bed. Natasha took every advantage she could to snuggle into Steve's chest all night because to be honest, it was very comfortable and he was now dubbed as her personal pillow.

_"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, sorry for the interruption but Director Fury is waiting for you at the living area."_

"Tell him to wait." Natasha mumbled and nuzzled her face to his neck. Steve reacted by tightened his hold and whispered something sweet to help her got back to sleep, "I need more sleep. My jetlag isn't gone yet."

_"But he insisted it is very urgent."_

Natasha cursed something in Russian before pushing herself up from the bed. Steve began to stir too. His baby blue eyes were confused as he looked at her. Natasha bent down to kiss his cheek.

"Everything is urgent to him." She said and began to change her clothes to more decent ones.

Steve didn't argue with that but put on his sweats anyway and followed Natasha downstairs. Fury was waiting for them in the living room while the rest of the team gathered around the kitchen and kept their eyes on the director.

Clint was perching on the refrigerator. Tony and Pepper leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped their coffee. Jane was trying to make Thor a pop tart and not to burn the whole tower down when she told him that the toaster needs electricity to operate. Yeah, he charged Mjolnir with his lighting and prepared to discharge it at the toaster. Bruce too was watching Fury with suspicion because he knew the Director only showed up here if there was something serious.

"Hey, boss!" Natasha greeted the man.

"Finally got up, Romanoff. This holiday's throwing you off your routine?"

"Maybe." Natasha shrugged her shoulders, "Why do you come here?"

"I come here to tell you to prepare Captain Rogers for combat and missions. Since I heard that you two are starting to get along so I might consider stop the grounding for both of you."

"That would be no problem, sir." Steve replied in a formal manner.

"That's great, boss." Natasha agreed too. The two men could notice how excited she was about this news.

Fury continued on with his speech, "Agent Hill and Agent Coulson will be here to assess your readiness for mission and combat. They will alert both of you one week prior to the assessment day."

"Yes, sir" They both said.

"Have a good day, agents."

Fury left as fast as he arrived. Natasha couldn't contain her happiness. She was so close to having her life back and would fucking finally get some action. This domestic life was dull, but to be honest, she kind of got used to it because of Steve. He was so sweet to her lately and it was addicting. Last night, he even helped her dry her hair when she asked him.

Pepper made the couple a breakfast and Natasha couldn't resist asking Steve to join her in the gym about one hour after breakfast. Everyone wanted to tell them to slow down but the couple were just so excited.

After the meal, Natasha practically dragged Steve to the gym downstairs and other members had to follow them to ensure that no one hurts anyone. They sat at the bleachers and watched the couple on the spar mat. Steve was obviously hesitating with everything.

"Maybe we should start off with you using your shield." Natasha suggested, "It's your primary weapon anyway."

"I don't know." Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "But one thing I do know is that I don't want to accidentally hit you with it."

Natasha ignored Steve and turned to her best friend instead, "Clint! Go get cap's shield. It's in our bedroom."

"Eww, I don't wanna be inside your love nest." The archer screeched, mock disgust.

"NOW, BARTON!"

Clint sighed before scaling up his vent. Steve tried to talk Natasha out of it because he wasn't sure of his fighting ability anymore. He wasn't sure of his own strength and might not be able to control it as good as before.

"That is why we have to do this." Natasha insisted, "You have to learn to control it again. I will help you with that."

"Cap! Heads up!" Someone called Steve and threw something at his direction.

Steve quickly pushed Natasha away out of his instinct and then caught his shield naturally.

"You're still the same man, Steve. You just need the confidence back."

He looked at his shield. Hand slightly rubbed on his weapon. It was a part of him, his extension, "I guess so." He replied before looked back up at Natasha, "Let's do it."

They put on a stance. Natasha took the offensive and attacked Steve first but he countered her fluidly but when it came to attack with his shield, he felt slightly off and couldn't control it as good as before. Natasha was quick and lethal. She located his blind spot and attacked it fast. Steve barely dodged and took most of the hit because his shield wasn't moving as one with him.

Natasha finally pinned him down, straddling his chest. His shield dropped next to them.

"You suck, soul mate." She said as she got up, offering her hand to help him up.

"I felt off." He replied and picked up his shield, "I guess I'm a bit rusty."

"Yeah, grandpa, you really are rusty." She agreed, "Let's do it again."

"I almost slammed your face with my shield, Natasha. I have to say no. I don't' want to hit you. I don't want to hurt you."

"You will hurt me when you actually hit me." She sassily corrected before hitting his arms, "So stop procrastinating and let's practice again!"

* * *

Natasha spent most of the evening working on something she wouldn't feel the need to share with Steve so he didn't bother her with it. After spending most of the day kicking his ass, she could do whatever she wanted and he would stay out of her way.

After dinner, they decided to skip the movie night and went back to their bedroom because they were both sore from all the practice. Steve and Natasha fell asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow.

But the wake up alarm blaring very loudly the next morning and woke the spy up. She was fully recharged and ready for today. She turned to see her personal pillow covering his ears and trying to get back to sleep so she shook his arm repeatedly to wake him up.

"Come on, old man! We have a very long list of things that we need to do today."

"Is it the thing you did yesterday?"

"Yeah! Come on!" Natasha nuzzled her head at his neck, "Come on, come on."

Steve finally opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around her loosely, "What do you have in mind?"

"I won't tell you. It's a surprise. Now, get up, soul mate!"

"Okay…."

She pushed him inside the bathroom before preparing his clothes for him. Then she went to take a shower. They met up fifteen minutes later.

"You don't have to pick clothes for me."

"Yeah right." Natasha rolled her eyes and went to adjust his t-shirt and hoodie.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you are a hundred years old. You always wear only t-shirts and sweatpants and your old style grandpa shirts which I thought I threw it all out."

"I retrieved them all and hid it from you."

She sighed, "Fine, I will let you wear whatever you want. Can we now get the hell out of here, please?"

"Okay."

They went down to the garage and decided that they will take his bike.

"So where do you want to show me?"

"I thought you were the one with the plan."

"You said you will show me a place when we got back from the Caribbean."

"Oh! That one…well then, let's go!"

He pulled her onto his motorcycles and sped out of the building. They were very lucky that it was very light traffic this morning and they were crossing the Brooklyn Bridge in no time.

"All my childhood is here." He told her, "This is where Captain America was born."

"Brooklyn boy, huh?"

"Yeah, born and raised!" Steve looked so proud it made Natasha smiled.

They pulled over at the soda shop. Natasha was pretty amazed that he selected this place of all the places people choose for their date. She looked at the small malt shop that it probably been here for almost a hundred years while Steve was at the door and chuckled at her reaction.

"Are you coming or not, ma'am?" His voice pulled her away from her deep thought.

"Yeah, yeah, why are you so hurried? You couldn't get any older, old man" She shot back

He smiled gently at the woman and opened the door for Natasha. They sat down at an available booth and Steve ordered them the signature milkshake.

"What makes this place so special?" Natasha asked because she still was not convince that there was anything special about this place.

"Wait until you get a chance to taste it. It's worth the wait."

The waiter served the milkshake in a tall glass with two straws. Natasha stole the cherry before Steve could even react. Her brow quirked up in a challenging way when he just realized what just happened.

"You're lucky. If I liked cherries, I would fight you for it." He teased.

"I'd just kick your ass like yesterday, soul mate. I don't think you can win."

"I will let you win anyway." Steve replied, "Now try it. It's the best."

"For the record, my standard is pretty high."

They began to drink their milkshake. Steve's eyes were on Natasha to observe her reaction but the spy remained unreadable the whole time.

"Well, what do you think?"

"C'mon, C'mon, don't rush a sophisticated palate…" She slurped up another sip and Steve looked at her expectedly, "Wow! You win, Steve—My work for SHIELD has taken me all over the world…and that is, without a doubt, not just the best milkshake in Brooklyn but on the whole darn planet."

"Told you, Natasha. There's a reason this place has been open since I was a kid—way back before world war two."

"And you had to walk uphill both ways to go to school, right?"

"Of course, in those days the malted were just a nickel…" He told, looking into her beautiful attentive green eyes.

Steve continued on telling her about his childhood and how the life back in the forties was. Natasha listened attentively to Steve and found that his life was very interesting especially the part before he became the super soldier. She'd never seen him being more delighted than this.

They finished up the milkshake but half way down the glass, Natasha hogged it all to herself and Steve let her have it. She couldn't resist taking a selfie with him and moved to sit next to Steve. Even Steve was a bit uncomfortable at the first two shots but at the third one, he was actually smiling and chuckled. Natasha pressed her lips in his cheek. She knew she'd already pushed him too much but the public display of affection was a whole new level.

He tensed but then relaxed and let Natasha do whatever she wanted with him.

"I will print this out and put it in our bedroom." Natasha said happily.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her temple, "Whatever makes you happy, Natasha."

Natasha leaned into his touch and rested her head against his chest. She never ever thought Steve would allow her to do this outside the tower but he pulled her closer to the warmth of his body.

"Let's go to somewhere else, shall we?" She suggested.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I have one more place I would like to show you before we leave Brooklyn." Natasha said before getting up from her seat and pulled Steve with her.

"Is there any place in Brooklyn on your list?" He asked, a bit dazed that she picked Brooklyn too.

"Yeah, I was kinda surprise when you picked the place around here too."

"The soul mate thing…maybe."

"That explains it." She agreed.

The couple walked out of the milkshake joint. Natasha decided that they should stroll along the street so they could have the full nostalgic sense for him. Nat told him he will like the place.

"I haven't get a chance to exploring my old neighborhood since…" He spoke up as they walked pass the small flower stand.

"Since you 'thawed'" She smirked.

Steve gaped, "I was gonna say 'returned to active service', but I get your point."

"Tell me more about your 40's neighborhood."

"A couple blocks from here was the place I lived with my mother. I wonder if it changed that much or not."

"We can go check it out if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah! It's your 'homecoming' trip."

Sadness adorned his handsome face when she said those words. Natasha became alarmed at his reaction and knew that she said something wrong.

"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" She grabbed his arm, looking at him worriedly, "It's about finding your place in this world, isn't it?"

"What do you know…you can go home again." He mumbled, avoided looking into her eyes.

Natasha cupped both hands at either side of his face and forced him to look at her "Steve…I don't have home just like you. But that was before I joined the Avengers. That tower is the only place that comes as near as the definition of home and family. Before that my life was all mission, kill or be killed, deceiving, lying, do everything to survive. When I'm with them…when I live inside that tower…it's the only place I can actually be me…be a human."

"I'm a lost soldier, Natasha." He said hopelessly, "Everything is gone, my friends are gone, I don't have a home to come back to anymore."

"You will find the place you called home one day, Steve. I'm sure about it."

"Thanks" He smiled gently at the woman in front of him.

They walked around the block and then they stopped in front of the building that made Steve's jaw drop.

"This…this…they still kept this place?" He asked, eyes widened, "This is where I lived back in the 40's"

"Yes, it is."

"My mom and I lived here. The news vendor on that corner gave me a dime a day to hawk the evening edition for him." He pointed to the stand across the street.

"Over there? Where the gluten free organic wraps stand is?"

"Yeah— heh. We didn't have those back in the old days. Or an internet cafe-slash-fair use coffee bar every twelve feet."

"It's called Starbucks, old man."

Natasha continued to tell him that his old house was turned into a museum and national historical site by the government right after the WWII. Steve was pretty excited to know that they preserved everything the way things were before he left for war.

Steve laughed before Natasha dragged him inside the building. Natasha showed the staff her SHIELD badge and demanded them that they need private time. Luckily, the staffs were able to keep people away to give them privacy. Steve had the excitement that she hadn't seen in a while. He dragged her around to show her everything, where he did his homework, where he built the blanket fort with Bucky, where his mom would bandaging him up.

"There are a lot of good memories at this place, huh?" She asked, couldn't help but feel happy to see her soul mate happy.

"Yeah, we didn't have much but I was happy with what I had." He replied, "I'm just wondering…did the government keep this place exactly the way it was?"

"Yes, why?"

"I think I should verify that statement." He said and grabbed her hand, dragging her upstairs. His blue eyes shown something akin to a 7 years old boy who was about to commit crime.

Natasha had to increase her pace to match his long strides, "What are you doing?"

"It's my house and there was something I hid here before I went to war."

He dragged her to the bedroom on the second floor. Steve's smiled widened when he saw his old bedroom was still the same when he left. She read from the file that Howard Stark and Peggy Carter wanted it to remain the same as a homage to Steve.

Steve was looking around and swiped his hand at the moldings.

"What the hell are you doing, Steve?" Natasha asked.

"I stashed something in the hidden drawer before I went to war." He told before pulling the said secret drawer.

He was true to his word that there was something stashed inside. Natasha stepped closer and take a look. Steve pulled out many random things.

"This is my mothers wedding ring." Steve said.

"It's beautiful."

"A bit vintage but it's hers." He pulled out his dog tags and put his mother ring along with it and continued to find the random things in the drawer.

"Aww, this is the cross necklace my mom had." He told and showed it to her. He released the hook and pulled out the gold medallion he kept in his jacket pocket. It was the gold medallion from their trip that Steve insisted he would like to keep it to himself. He put the medallion with the cross before turned to her, "I want you to have this."

Natasha was pretty shock to be honest but Steve gently put the necklace around her neck.

"It looks good on you, Natasha, as it looks good on my mothers neck." Steve said, "She would want you to have it."

"Steve…"

"It's yours now, soul mate."

"Thank you, soul mate."

They smiled happily at each other. Their faces were inches away from each other but Natasha pulled herself together and pressed her lips very near at the corner of his lips.

"Thank you, Steve."

* * *

They had a very good day. They had a small fight over a little stupid thing over the fact that Steve should keep everything he found in the hidden drawer or not. Steve won anyway because they belonged to him but Natasha countered the term and said that Natasha will be the one picking their dinner.

Natasha was on his back when they arrived at the living area after dinner. Everyone was quiet when they saw the couple walk in. Thor stood up. Mjolnir flew into his hand as if he would smite Steve with it.

"Is she hurt?" The thunder god asked. Thunder rumbled outside the window, "Did you hurt her?"

"No, of course not. She just tried." Steve replied, "We were doing a lot of things today."

"That is good to hear." Thor said, putting down his hammer and sitting down next to Jane.

Steve carried Natasha up to their room before he woke her up when they arrive. They took a shower separately before they climbed in bed together. Natasha kissed his cheek and said goodnight. Steve noticed that her hand slipping under the pillow again so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her out. She was struggled to get her hand out of his grip.

"Let go off the gun, Natasha." He whispered gently, "Let go off it. You have no need to hold the gun while you're asleep."

"I can't…what if…"

"We're both damaged, Natasha." Steve whispered "But we can help each other out."

"Steve, don't do this. If something happens, I have to…."

"You have me to shield you away from everything. You don't have to sleep with one eye open anymore. You have me. Nothing can harm us."

Natasha finally let go of the gun. Steve intertwined their hands together and felt Natasha relaxed in his arms.

"I will keep you safe. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	14. The Feeling Inside

Natasha had the most comfortable sleep in her entire life because she didn't have to hold the gun in her hand or keep her eyes open all night. Steve held her in his arms all night and appeared in and out of her dreams and helped her to sleep in peace with his sweet words.

Natasha woke up and found her soul mate had already left their bed for sometime because the place beside her was cold but he was still inside her head to keep her company, to ensure that he was still there.

Natasha found Steve sitting on the couch in the living room, looking paler than usual. He sat still, eyes closed but the image of him was still in her head and he was smiling at her now.

"What are you doing, soul mate?" She asked and slid down on his laps. He still closed his eyes and kept sending images inside her head, "Stop it and open your eyes now, Steven."

"Okay" He said and opened his baby blues to look at her.

"I'm gonna ask you again. What are you doing?" Natasha asked, "It was like you are trying to appear in my head."

"So you feel me inside your head?" He was excited. His blue eyes lit up, "I was trying to prove my theory about us being inside each others head…like project myself inside your head."

"You did appear in my head." Natasha replied, "When I woke up and you were gone but I can still see the image of you inside my head."

"Really? I want to try again."

Her hands cupped each side of his face, "Some other time." She said, "You look like you didn't sleep at all."

"I slept last night but there was something coming up during the night…"

"Nightmare?"

Steve nodded, "Yes, it was just a glimpse but not a big deal."

"But you haven't had one in a month." She said, looking at him worriedly because she knew the last time he had a nightmare, he ended up in the hulk containment, almost completely losing his mind.

Steve sensed her discomfort so he kissed her cheek, "I'm okay, Natasha. It was just a flash. Nothing's serious and you don't have to worry." He assured.

"I'm glad to know." She said, "But what else is troubling your mind?"

Steve looked away and Natasha knew it was something that he felt guilty to ask her but he spoke up first.

"I was thinking about visiting Peggy at least once a week. I don't know how much longer she will be alive. From what she said it was the bond between me and her was the only thing that keeping her alive." Steve told her truthfully, "I didn't you to feel uncomfortable so I am asking you first. If you are not okay with it, I totally understand."

"Oh…Steve, you can go visit her as often as you want. I will go with you."

"Really? I mean…uhh…you are really okay with this?"

"Yes, I am."

"Thank you for the understanding."

"We will go visit her tomorrow. But now I'm really hungry and can you make those yummy things we saw on the TV last night."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

The next day, Natasha found herself tangled in Steve's embrace and tried very hard not to move herself because he was still asleep. It was only 6 AM but someone needed to prepare some breakfast, right?

But Steve's hold at her waist and shoulders was so strong even the Black Widow couldn't break it. It is just too comfy when you have that chest as your pillow so she will just lay here until her soul mate wakes up.

They will go visiting Peggy Carter today. If it was a month and a half ago, she would be very upset about this idea but now that she and Steve had been bonding and understanding each other more than before, she was finally okay with it.

She felt that Steve began to stir so she looked up to find his baby blue eyes staring at her and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Morning." He greeted and kissed her forehead

She left herself up on her elbows and pressed a kiss on his cheek in return, "Morning, soul mate." She replied, "Maybe we should get up, take a shower and head off to Washington."

He easily complied and carried Natasha to her bathroom. The couple met up again in the living area before taking his motorcycle to DC. This time, it was different. There was no arguing or any pain occurring between them. They took a stop at a breakfast diner and brought a bouquet of flower before going to the retirement community.

"Hey, Peggy." Steve greeted when they stopped at her side.

"Steve…." She called with weak voice, "You're here too, Natasha."

"Yes, I am. Nice to see you again, Agent Carter."

Peggy looked at them and noticed that they were something changed between the couple.

"I see that you two are finally getting along." The old woman took note.

"Yes, we finally started bonding." Steve admitted, "I stopped being a jerk to her."

"Like I said, Steve. Once you let her in, everything will be just fine."

"You're always right, Peggy." Steve smiled shyly.

They helped Peggy out of her bed to her wheelchair so they could take her to the garden and had a talk about everything. Peggy went on and on about all the stupid and crazy things Steve did back in the 40's, how he always came up with the deadliest plan to take out HYDRA, and the two women had a good laugh about it.

For Steve, he was okay with Peggy and Natasha getting along well. He knew that Peggy only wanted the best thing for him and now he had Natasha. Steve occasionally defended himself but he knew his effort was futile when these two strong women teamed up on him.

They decided to take Peggy out for a small lunch nearby the retirement community before taking her back. By the time Steve put her back into bed, Peggy was already tired.

"I would love for both of you to come visit me again."

"Of course, Peggy. We will come visit you once or twice a week." Steve promised, "I'm sorry that I can't spend more time because I have to get ready for field work again."

"It's okay, Steve."

"See you again soon, Peggy." He kissed her forehead.

* * *

It turned out to be one of the best days that they spent together. Steve brought Natasha back to New York and took her to one of the nice restaurants. They had a quiet dinner until they left the building and suddenly she was swamped by her fans. Luckily, no one noticed Steve and Natasha quickly jumped back on the bike with him and headed back to the Tower.

Tony and Clint were making fun of them, of course. They said now that the couple finally go out in public and they must announce to the world that the Captain is alive. Natasha discarded all those comments and pulled her man up to their floor but Steve said he would hang back for a minute and have a talk with Clint about the training for tomorrow.

"See you upstairs." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before turning to Clint, "Be nice to him."

"I didn't do anything!"

She narrowed her eyes before walking away, leaving her boys to talk about their businesses. She was already in the bathtub when she heard a knock half an hour later.

"Come in!" She didn't bother open her eyes because she knew that it was her soul mate at the other side of the door.

"Natasha….God! I'm sorry. I thought you were not….in the bathtub….completely undressed like that." He covered his eyes and turned away. His face was deep red.

"It's okay, soul mate. I got all the bubbles covering me." She said.

"No! I will just leave you. I can wait."

"Turn. Now. And start talking" She commanded

Steve grudgingly turned and opened his eyes, "I just want to tell you that we will spar again tomorrow and I also have ranged weapon training with Clint."

"Be prepared for getting your ass kicked by me."

Steve smiled, "Of course…I will leave you to enjoy your bubble bath now and go take a shower."

They met up in their room half an hour later and went to sleep right away. Steve wrapped his huge arms around her protectively as always. Natasha relaxed in her sleep and forgot about everything while Steve wasn't having any nightmare.

* * *

The morning soon arrived but Natasha didn't feel like getting up from her bed. She rolled over to find that her personal pillow was gone. She missed having his arms around her already and thought to herself,  _where the hell is he?_  She heard a noise from the kitchen silently crept her way there.

She found her soul mate was busying making her breakfast.

"What are you doing this early, Steven?"

"Awww…I was planning for a breakfast in bed." He cried, "Wait! Are you waking up because of the pain? Am I hurting you again?"

"No! No! I just couldn't find you in bed. That's all."

"Really?"

"Yes, I didn't feel any pain at all." She insisted, "And why exactly do you suddenly want to make me breakfast in bed."

She approached Steve who was currently leaning against the kitchen counter and stood in front of him.

He smiled softly at her, "I had a little conversation with Barton last night." He said, "I asked him about the training and some personal information about you. What you like the most in the morning? He said, ' _you are a sucker for breakfast in bed_ ', so I'm trying to make you one."

"Aww, you're so sweet." Natasha said and, without thinking, she leaned up to press her lips on his. He was so sweet that she couldn't resist herself anymore.

Steve went frozen but began to relax and moved his lips with hers. He never felt lips this soft before and she tasted so sweet he certainly couldn't get enough of it. His hands fell to her hips and pulled Natasha closer. It felt so heavenly that Steve couldn't deny all the feelings babbling inside of him.

Natasha pulled away a little to look at him with a smirk, "Alright, I have a question for you." She said but Steve shook his head and pressed their lips together again. Natasha stopped him, "Of which you do not have to answer. I feel like if you don't answer it though, you're kind of answering it, you know?"

She was now teasing him and it was a bit irritating because all he wanted right now was to kiss her again. It might be better that he let Natasha finish talking, "What?"

"Was that your first kiss since 1945?"

He was a bit surprised, "That bad, huh?"

Natasha shrugged but her eyes twinkled, "I didn't say that."

"Well, it kind of sounds like that's what you're saying."

"No, I didn't. I just wondered how much practice you had."

"I don't need practice."

"Everybody needs practice."

"It was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm ninety-five, I'm not dead."

"Everyone needs some practice."

It was now his turn to smirk at her. He leaned closer. Hands cupped both sides of her face, "I could practice with you." His eyebrows even wiggled playfully

"Did Captain America just try to charm me?"

"A little"

"How many woman had you kissed before me? If you say I wasn't you first kiss."

"Private Lorraine and Peggy Carter." He answered truthfully, "But you're my first kiss in this century and I hope that you will be my last too."

Natasha smiled fondly at him, "If you let me, soul mate, I will be your last."

Steve replied to her with another kiss on the lips. His arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up on the countertop. Her legs bracketed around his hips, arms snaked up to his neck. Natasha had to admit that he was a damn good kisser. It came out naturally and he didn't need any practice. The kiss got more heated and they both lost count of time, savoring the perfect moment they had.

Natasha broke the kiss first. The kiss left her panting and she clung tight to him, "The breakfast…"

"Right" He agreed and released her from his embrace.

"I will wait in bed and pretend I am asleep and you will wake me up with the smell of waffles and a kiss, okay, soul mate?"

"Okay, Tasha." He replied and kissed her lips once again.

Natasha actually smiled into the kiss and leaned into his embrace, feeling their lips moving together in the perfect rhythm that all the times she had been kissed before meant nothing until now.

Natasha pulled away and Steve said, "Everything will be ready in 10 minutes."

"Thank you…" She replied, "My adorable beefcake"

Steve chuckled at the nickname she gave him. Natasha pecked a kiss and left the kitchen. Steve's eyes were following her until she was out of his sight.  _How stupid of him to deny this?_   _To deny this soul mate thing? To deny that Natasha wasn't his? How fucking stupid was he?_  It was true to Dr. Banner's word that if he opened up and let her in, everything will fall perfectly in place and it will work out perfectly without a hitch.

He was so stupid to deny this and hurt Natasha but from now on, he will take care of her the way she deserves.

Twenty minutes later, he finished with the cooking and decorating the plate for them. He carried the breakfast tray inside their bedroom to find Natasha was actually asleep. He sat the tray down next to her before kneeling down next to her, pecking his lips on hers.

"Breakfast's ready." He said

Natasha stirred and rubbed her eyes, "I did actually fall asleep." She noted, "You were taking too long."

"I'm sorry. I just got carried away with the decoration."

"No worries, soul mate." She sat up and Steve sat the tray on her laps, "It's nice, Steve. It's really beautiful."

She smiled and they began to eat in silence. It was really delicious. He poured her a cup of freshly brew coffee too before pouring himself a glass of milk. When the breakfast was done, Steve sat everything on the floor next to their bed before they resumed their make out session. Steve gently pushed her down on her back and climbed on top of her.

His lips tasted like honey he just ate with his waffle while her must have tasted like a chocolate, whip cream and strawberry. Judging by the way his lips devouring hers, he must really like the taste of her lips.

_Well, well, she was making out with Captain America._

* * *

"Steve! Wake up!"

Natasha continuously poking at her soul mate to wake him up from his deep sleep but it seemed not to work so she began to shake his large frame. Steve mumbled something in protest and trying to push her away.

"Go away." He groaned and rolled over to the other side, "You kicked my ass yesterday in the gym. I'm still very tired."

Yes, they sparred right after they finished with the making out session yesterday. Natasha kicked his ass again. Steve still felt a bit off with his fighting style and his shield wasn't fitting him as usual. He almost hit her with the shield but Natasha was quick enough to dodge. After that he just quit fighting because he was afraid of hurting her.

"Come on, wake up, soul mate." She purred near his ear, "I just came up with another 'Distance Theory' and I want to test it before we get back in the field."

He turned to her and opened his eyes to see her beautiful smile. Natasha knew she got his attention.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure if I'm correct or not. Bruce said that there isn't any specific theories about soul mates and every couple will have a very unique characteristic. I had been thinking about this and complied all the evidence I have encountered first handed. We still have the distance limit but I think it had an exception."

"What exception?"

"If we don't psychologically need one another." Steve frowned, trying to follow what she said. Natasha continued to explain, "If our mind and soul doesn't scream for one another, I think we could stay away from each other in a great amount of distance until our minds start to seek one another."

"Your theory might be right." He agreed.

"So get up from the bed. We're going out!"

"Okay."

Steve slowly got out their bed but Natasha wasn't patient enough so she pushed him off the bed and Steve fell off. Natasha laughed and quickly ran back to her bathroom before Steve could react. He just laughed happily and went to the bathroom.

Natasha took him to Central Park. She dragged him along to path way, looking happy as she could be. The bright smile of her face made her looks younger. It was like all the burden she carried on shoulders was gone. She was laughing as they were running through the park to find some place where they could do the experiment.

"Okay, we will walk to the opposite direction…as far as we can. Just try not to think about one another, okay?" She said, "You gonna be alright, Steve."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Steve asked, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Of course! We have to try this so we can survive in the field."

"If we're in the field I will be thinking about you a lot."

"That's why we need to train, Steven! Stop procrastinating and begin to walk away."

Steve begrudgingly turned away from her and started walking. Natasha too was walking away from him and held a Stark Phone in her hand to measure the distance they could take for the separation. They could now separate for 500 meters and it was far better than she originally thought. With these newfound theory, it could help them get back in the field. When she was about to reach 600 meters, she made a mistake of thinking about her soul mate and how he was doing right now. The pain began to babbling underneath her skin and another 10 seconds later, Steve was at her side, holding her in his arms.

"Are you alright?" He asked, worry shown clearly on his face.

"How do you know?"

"The pain." He replied, "I felt the equal pain as you are now, Natasha, remember?"

"Yeah."

"So…what's trigger the pain?"

"It confirmed my theory. If we emotionally need one another, it will trigger the pain to alarm one another."

"So you suggested that we should stop thinking about one another? It's not going to work because I can't stop."

Natasha smiled at the statement, "I love to hear you say something nice."

"It's fact, Natasha. I can control it for a short amount of time but my soul will reach out for you."

"We will figure it out, Rogers. We can do this together."

He wasn't sure about that and Natasha knew it right away just by looking at his expression.

"Steve, if it was up to me to save your life, and be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?" She asked. Beautiful green eyes staring at him. She wanted a truthful answer. She needed to hear it from him.

Steve looked at her right into her eyes. It was nothing but sincerity, "I would now." That was his reply and her face lit up instantly, "And I'm always honest." He leaned closer until their face were mere inch away, "We can make it because you trust me and I trust you."

"I know." She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips.

They could make it. She knew. And now that they didn't do it alone anymore. They had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- How was it? How was their first kiss?
> 
> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	15. The First Mission

Maria had informed the couple that they will be evaluated of their readiness in two weeks and the soldier and the spy must pass the test before getting back in the field together.

So Steve and Natasha decided that they would keep themselves inside the tower for two weeks, training as hard as they could. Natasha's brutal methods worked on him. She pushed Steve hard but he could keep up with her the way normal people couldn't. He could wield his shield without any problems now and it felt almost normal.

Clint and Tony took a great pleasure betting on who's going to win the match and by far, neither of them were winning. Steve adapted Natasha's fighting style and she adapted his. They learned from one another and now they were so in sync that they could melt into one.

Bruce had JARVIS recorded every time the couple spar so he could analyze them properly. He was more interested in how they seemed to know and understand each other's move. The doctor suggested that it must be related to the soul mate thing.

Thor, on the other hand, was very eager to get in the ring so he could have a chance to fight with the legendary soldier of Midgard. He marveled at how the two people, with a size difference could fight equally.

Other team members also took their part in the training too. Clint, Tony, and Natasha thought him to use modern weaponry and espionage techniques. Tony insisted he would make a boot jet for the captain, which Steve politely declined.

They were finally ready for the evaluation. Natasha told Steve to go to sleep early last night and he did as she said but he had to hold her in his arms too. They ended up sleep in and Clint had to wake them up the next morning. The couple jumped out of their bed and got ready for everything within 15 minutes.

Finally, Maria Hill and Coulson came into the living room where everyone was waiting. The evaluation would take place in the simulation room of the tower but with the scenario designed by SHIELD, especially made for the super soldier and super spy. Tony let the two SHIELD agent to the control center while Bruce escorted the soldier and the spy to the simulation room.

They changed into their combat gear before stepping inside the room.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked and slipped her hand into his.

"Yes" He nodded and kissed the back of her hand lightly.

They took the stance before the room slowly changed into the simulation scene. They were standing on the quinjet together. Maria and Coulson appeared on the screen and gave them the information they needed for this mission. Steve and Natasha started planning and dividing their work.

"This is an easy one." Natasha said, "We can do it with our eyes closed."

"I don't think so."

"It's just an expression."

They jumped out of the quinjet together. Steve swept the perimeter and took off the defense while Natasha snuck inside the building to secure the file. They worked so well together it was as if they had been doing this for a very long time.

Finally, Steve met up with Natasha after knocking out all the guards outside the building.

"Got the file you want?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I did." She showed him the small flash drive in her hands.

"It's too easy. There is nothing this easy." Steve became alarmed by that fact. Natasha too was getting ready for something to go off any second, "We better move out."

They took the exit and headed for the elevator.

"The quinjet will circle back to pick us up in five minutes." Natasha told.

"We got company." Steve said. Natasha turned to see a group of armed men headed to the elevator. Steve quickly pulled Natasha in his arms, "Hold on"

She wrapped her arms around him as Steve slammed his shield and cut the elevator wire, sending them down fast with the elevator. Natasha thought it was a very bad idea but she trusted him. He knew what he was doing. They elevator stopped between floors. Steve pulled the door opened to find another squad heading their way.

"We have no where to go." Nat said.

"We have but you're not going to like it." Steve replied and looked out the window to measure the height of their current position to the ground.

"No!"

"It's our only way and you have to trust me."

Natasha paused her protest for a second before taking his hand.

"I will jump out the window first and you have to be right behind me. I will catch you midair and we will land on my shield." Steve explained, "Are you okay with this plan?"

She looked back at him with no fear in her eyes, "Yeah, it's gonna be fun!"

Steve smiled at her and thought,  _yeah, this is totally his kind of girl._  Steve took a deep breath before looking at Natasha one last time. She nodded and he jumped off the building with Natasha following right behind. He caught her in his arms and did everything he could to get her away from his shield clad left arms to avoid any impact.

They landed hard on the ground but the shield absorb all the impact. Steve groaned quietly and she felt his pain. She got up and pulled him up with her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, let's go" He grabbed her hand and ran to the quinjet landing area.

Once they were inside the quinjet, the simulation ended and the room turned back to the empty room as usual.

Steve turned to Natasha, "You think we passed the test?"

She smiled, "Sure!"

Steve nodded. Their teammates came down to meet them.

"Congratulation, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff." Maria said as she and Coulson stepped toward the couple.

"We will come back with the result in three days." Coulson continued.

* * *

The couple waited patiently but they didn't stop their training and Natasha wasn't taking it easy on Steve at all. She always came up with a new way to put him on his back. On the third day of the waiting, Coulson finally came with the result. The Captain and the spy anxiously stood in the living room, waiting for Coulson to open the envelope. It was like the agent were teasing them.

"Open the damn envelop, Coulson!" Natasha was the first one to lose her patience.

"Alright" Phil slowly opened it and read the paper out loud, "You passed the test and Fury already signed this form so it is official that both of you are back in the game now."

"Yessss!" Nat raised her fists in the air.

"And there is something that the director sent for both of you too. You can consider it as a gift from SHIELD and your teammates."

Tony, Thor and Clint stepped aside to reveal new uniforms for both of them. Steve had a dark blue strike suit with SHIELD logo and his red, white, and blue uniform with Avengers logo. Natasha was having the black cat suit with SHIELD logo and the black cat suit with red trims and Avengers logo.

"We will contact you two again when we have a mission for you."

The team celebrated with the couple for passing the evaluation. Tony ordered every kind of food and drink imaginable for the team because he knew how Thor, Clint and Steve could devour everything. He also invited everyone including Coulson and Hill too. Fury declined because he thought he would be a buzz kill for the team.

They were all drinking and arguing over the fact about who is worthy enough to carry Thor's hammer. Steve and Natasha, who was sitting on his lap, were just ignore everything and ate their pizza and drank beer.

"Whosoever, be he worthy, shall have the power", whatever man! It's a trick! It's a circus sideshow, and that is it! And you know it!" Clint said drunkenly

"It's much more than that, my friend." Thor replied and handed Steve another bottle of beer.

Tony got up from his seat between Pepper and Rhodey, feeling it was a challenge for him. Pepper tried to stop her life mate but his hand was already at the hammer.

"If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?" Tony asked and everyone laughed

"Yes, of course." Thor smiled and gestured his hand to the hammer.

"I will be fair, but firmly cruel."

"No, I'm sure."

Tony pulled hard. His face faltered when it didn't even move in the slightest. He tried again but nothing worked.

"JARVIS! Send me my armor!" Tony called for help and his armor flew to attach to his body instantly. He tried again but nothing happened so Rhodey got up, assembled his own suit and helped Tony with it.

"Are we even pulling?" Rhodey asked

"Are you on my team?"

"Just represent! PULL!"

The two tried one last time before they gave up. Tony turned to Steve immediately.

"Come on, cap! Who could possibly be worthier than you?"

"Alright." Steve accepted the challenge.

"You can do it." Natasha encouraged and peck a kiss on his lips.

Steve got up from his seat and went to the hammer. He looked at it and wrapped his hands around it before pulling it. He managed to budge it a little but he noticed the falter on Thor's face. He released his hand a little before trying to pull it again but gave up and sat back down on the couch.

Thor chuckled, "Nothing…."

Natasha climbed back on his laps, looped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, "You're doing great, soul mate. At least you managed to budge it a little." Steve leaned into her touch and felt that she was comforting him in his mind.

Clint got up and tried to pull it but he gave up at his first try.

Bruce gestured to Natasha. She quickly shook her head and leaned into Steve's body, "That's not a question I need answering." She looked at Steve who was obviously confused of why she didn't try. He was so cute looking lost. She knew he wanted to ask so she silenced him with a kiss.

Everyone whistled when they saw the Captain and the spy make out. Then the competition went on and on but no one managed to lift up the hammer. Tony got up from his seat and came up with another theory.

"It's biometrics, right? Like a security code? " _Whoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints_ " is, I think, the literal translation."

Thor got up from his seat too and tossed his hammer cockily, "Yes, well that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one: You are not worthy."

Everybody in the room groaned. Clint struck his tongue at the god. Steve held Natasha in his arms happily drinking and eating with his new family. The sudden realization hit him and Natasha, who seemed to also feel that thought, turned to him and gave him a warm smile.

Yeah, some part of him finally accepted this new life now. It wasn't that bad as he originally thought.

_It was all because of Natasha._

* * *

It was Sunday and the couple wasn't planning on getting out of their bed before noon. Natasha was the first to wake up and couldn't resist waking up Steve by kissing him repeatedly on the lips until she felt his lips moving with her. And now Steve was pinning her down on the bed.

"What did you do to me, woman?" He growled against her lips as they were furious made out on their bed.

"Maybe it has something to do with the soul mate thing." She replied with a smile against his lips.

"It's really hard to stop." Steve admitted "To be honest, I don't want to stop."

"Me either."

They continued to devour each other and it was getting hot and heavy real fast because Steve was on top of her, Nat could do nothing but moan into his mouth.

But the sudden ring of their phone made them both groan. Steve reached out for his phone and put it on speaker.

"Agent Hill" Steve greeted

"Agents! We need you at the Triskellion ASAP." And the message was cut.

Nat looked into Steve's eyes and smiled gently, "Looks like it's our first mission together."

* * *

**_Indian Ocean_ **

The quinjet was flying over the Indian Ocean the duo were with SHIELD agents, led by Brock Rumlow.

"The target is a mobile satellite launch platform: The Lemurian Star. It was sending up their last payload when pirates took them, ninety-three minutes ago." Rumlow said.

"Any demands?" Steve asked.

"A billion and a half."

"Why so steep?"

"Because it SHIELD's."

Steve turned to Natasha, slightly frowned. He could sense something off about this mission and it raised his suspicion, "So it's not off course, it's trespass."

"I'm sure they have a good reason." Natasha tried to calm him down but Steve still stiffened up, "Relax, it's not that complicated."

Steve let go as she said and turned back to Rumlow, "How many pirates?"

"Twenty-five, top mercs, led by this guy. Georges Batroc." Rumlow replied and he showed them a photo of Batroc on the monitor, "Ex-TGSE, Action Division. He's at the top of Interpol's "red notice". Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions. This guy's got a rep for maximum casualties."

"Hostages?"

"Uh...mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell." Rumlow pulled the photo of Sitwell on the monitor, "They're in the galley."

"What's Sitwell doing on a launch ship?" He sighed, "Alright, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you'll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to life pods. get 'em out. Let's go."

"STRIKE, you heard the Captain. Gear up!"

Steve was finishing up preparing and heading to the hatch. Then Natasha felt something tingling under her skin and before Natasha could say anything, Steve turned to her with a bright smile on his face.

"See you down there, soulmate." With that, he jumped off the quinjet without a parachute.

"Steve!" She called after, afraid that Steve might get hurt.

After jumping out the jet, Steve dived into the ocean and then climbed onto the ship, he then beat everyone on the deck swiftly before anyone raised the alarm when he was interrupted by one of the pirates pointing his gun at him.

"Don't move!" The pirates said and Steve went still; then he was shot dead by Rumlow as he parachuted down onto the deck behind Steve.

"Thanks." Steve nodded at his teammate.

"Yeah. You seemed pretty helpless without me." The agent joked.

Natasha and another agent parachuted down onto the deck to join them. The Black Widow quickly got to her soul mate and walked besides him.

"What should we do this saturday night?" She asked

"Secure the engine room, then we can talk about this weekend date." He replied with a little smile of his face.

"I'm multitasking!" She retorted before jumping down to the lower deck.

Natasha silently sneaking around to find her way to the engine room. She heard someone talk in French so she followed the voice until she found the pirate who was talking on the phone about the engine room. The guy turned and saw the redhead who smiled slyly at him.

"Hey, sailor" She could tell that the guy was in shock so she quickly knocked him down and managed to swing down below deck shooting several of the pirates on the way before taking off to the engine room.

Everyone radioed to Steve that they were in position. Steve too was observing Batroc and waiting for Natasha's respond.

"Natasha, what's your status?" He asked. Everyone could notice the worries in his voice but there was no response from her, "Status, Natasha?"

"Hang on!"

All Steve could hear from that was a sound of beating and punching and pirates screaming in pain but it all ended within 10 seconds.

"Engine room secure."

"On my mark. Three. Two. One."

The STRIKE team started shooting at the pirates, blew open the door and Rumlow quickly killed the head pirate and rescued all the hostage out of the galley. Steve moved fast and smashed in through the window using his shield but Batroc managed to escape. Steve quickly followed the mercenary.

"Hostages enroot to extraction. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Captain. Hostiles are still in play." Rumlow reported through their comm.

Rumlow's word made Steve worried about his soul mate. His fear increased and his soul was now screaming for her. He thought of the worst and began to move faster to locate Batroc to complete his mission and then he would go to find Natasha.

"Natasha, Batroc is on the move. Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages." But there was no reply from Natasha. Steve's worry tripled, "Natasha!"

Suddenly, Batroc attacked Steve. They fought on the deck of the ship, with Batroc getting quickly back up on his feet. Steve stared at the mercenary and put on his stance.

"( _I thought that you were more than just a mask._ )"

Steve narrowed his eyes but realized it was a challenge. He put the shield on his back and took off his mask, "On va voir"

They started fighting again. Steve managed to finally knock Batroc down by smashing through into one of the rooms. He looked up to find Natasha, safe and sound, was downloading something from the computer.

She smirked at him, "Well, this is awkward."

"What are you doing?" His voice hard and firm, demanding the answer.

"Backing up the hard drive. It's a good habit to get into."

"Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing here?" Steve went over to Natasha and looked at what Natasha is backing up, "You're saving SHIELD Intel."

"Whatever I can get my hands on."

"Our mission is to rescue hostages."

"No. That's your mission." She finished backing up and pulled the flash drive out. Turning to him, she smirked again, "And you've done it beautifully."

Natasha went to leave but Steve grabbed her arm, "You just jeopardized this whole operation."

"I think that's overstating things."

Suddenly, a group of pirates burst into the room and fired their gun at them. Steve quickly moved himself to shield Natasha from the line of fire by using himself. One pirate managed to hit his arms and Steve screamed in pain. Natasha felt it too but she couldn't do anything but cling tight to him. Steve used his shield to deflect the bullets. Batroc rose and threw a grenade at the two as he ran off with his pirates. Steve deflected the bomb with his shield, grabbed Natasha and jumped through a window before it exploded. He made sure that Natasha landed on his body to avoid any injury for her. They moved quickly to find a better cover. Steve peaked his head up to find that there was no one in the room.

Natasha panted heavily, "Okay. That one's on me."

"You damn right." Steve got up and left in anger.

Natasha knew she was wrong in this situation so she went after him but she couldn't match his long pace as Steve stomped out the helipad where the quinjet was parking. The team moved the hostage in the first quinjet.

"Cap, you are injured." Rumlow noted.

"I'll live."

"You and Romanoff can head back with this one. Rollins and I will take care here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead. We will wrap it all up anyway."

Steve nodded a thank you and headed inside the quinjet without waiting for his soul mate. Natasha quickly followed, knowing she had to apologize to him and explained everything. She found Steve in the cockpit, ordering the pilots that they will leave in 5 minutes.

When he turned to see her, he frowned and walked right past her to the seat near the hatch. His right arm still bleeding. Natasha knelt down in front of him but Steve averted his eyes, not even looking at her. His eyes filled with disappointment that made her heart ache.

"I'm sorry, Steve."

"Save it. You're doing your job. I understand." His voice was cold and distance and suddenly Nat felt like they were back at square one again, "But I thought we were soul mates. We supposed to tell each other everything. The same way I tell you everything."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Steve. It was part of the mission. I didn't mean to upset you." Guilt took over her and Steve softened when he saw her reaction.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes, "I am upset because you didn't tell me about the mission. I know that you have a more covert operation but I'm your soul mate. Your wellbeing is my duty. I need to know at least what you will be doing in case something went wrong so I can get to you right away."

"I know."

He pulled her on his laps and winced a little when the wound in his arm contacted with his uniform, "I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that. I just worried and, Natasha, I cannot lose you. That's the main reason why I'm so upset. Because if anything happens to you, I will blame myself for the rest of my life."

Natasha leaned in and kissed him on the lips as if she was trying to say she was sorry and thank you at the same time. The pain on his left's arms was gone for a moment when his focus was on her. They continued kissing until someone coughed loudly and they broke away and found that everyone was staring at them.

Natasha covered it all up by getting off his laps, "I will tend to your wound."

Steve gave her a smile and let his soul mate do whatever she wanted. She pulled the bullet out and then began to wrap a bandage around his arm to stop the bleeding.

"I will keep the bullet to have Bruce analyze it in case it was coated with poison or anything."

Natasha sat on his laps with his arms wrapped around her waist the whole way back to the tower. The pilot dropped them off first before taking the hostage to the Triskellion. Bruce took them to the medical center while Tony let JARVIS ran the analysis on the bullet.

Bruce patched him up nicely as the result came in.

_"It is a normal bullet, sir. No sign of poison or any chemical substance coated on the bullet. From my calculation, Captain's wound will heal within a day or two."_

"Thank you, JARVIS." Bruce said, "You two should go clean up and get some rest."

"Thank you. Doctor." Steve took the bullet from Bruce's hand, "I will keep this as a token of the first time I took a bullet for my soul mate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	16. The Three Little Word

Natasha helped Steve take a bath and put him to bed. Because of the wound, he couldn't lift his arms so he slept shirtless. Natasha kept a close eye on him and made sure that he would have a comfortable sleep but she couldn't bring herself to sleep that night. The image of Steve jumping in the way and taking the bullet for her kept replaying in her head.

She didn't want to imagine a life without him. She couldn't take it and she knew for sure that she would follow him. Without her soul mate, there was no reason to live.

Now that Steve was sleeping soundly beside her, Natasha found herself gripping tight her gun tightly as if something or someone would attack them. She had to protect him so she armed herself with it. She was paranoid and she couldn't control the thought that something might hurt him again. The pain they shared was another reason. They both felt it which led to the conclusion that they both have to be more careful next time.

She should have told him. She should have told him the moment Fury gave her that mission. With they were both connected like this, compartmentalization didn't go well with them. She will have to talk to Fury about this. She couldn't risk her soul mate getting injure again.

It was almost 1 AM. Natasha was staring out the window to the million night lights outside and suddenly she felt warm arms snake around her waist, pulling her closer to his large frame behind her. His face nestled at the crook of her shoulder.

"Tasha..." She heard him mumble in his sleep and it made her smile.

His warm embrace was soothing and Natasha could finally close her eyes and let go of her gun before slowly drifting into her a slumber of her own.

* * *

Natasha woke up because there was a text message from Agent Hill. It said that Fury wanted the couple at the Triskelion this afternoon. The spy replied saying she would be there but Steve was injured so he may or may not be there. She tossed her phone away before she realized something.

_Where the hell was her soul mate?_

Natasha slowly got up from their bed and followed the smell of bacon and sausages from the kitchen.  _What the hell is he even doing in the kitchen? He is injured!_  Natasha was rather quite furious now. Steve wasn't supposed to be walking around let alone cooking.

What she found in the kitchen was her soul mate moving around the kitchen fluidly, humming a song that she had been frequently singing lately. He was very good at multitasking and she liked to watch him so she just leaned against the door frame in silence.

He wore a white tank top and sweatpants. His biceps moved and bulged every time he flipped the eggs or when he buttered the bread or when he poured them a cup of coffee each.

Finally, he finished his tasks and looked up to see his soul mate looking at him. He gave her a bright smile and went to her to give a loving morning kiss. At first, it was just their lips moving together but as Natasha slipped her tongue into his mouth, Steve pulled her close and lifted her up from her feet before kissing her deeply.

"Steve…" She moaned and pulled away, "The breakfast"

"Of course"

He carried her to her stool before sat down next to her.

"You shouldn't be moving around, Steve. Your wound could open again."

"It's almost healed. You don't have to worry. I have a magical serum in my veins." He reassured her with a small smile, "You should eat before it gets cold."

They began to silently eat their food until Natasha spoke up again, "We need to go to the Triskelion this afternoon. Fury wants to see us. But if you don't want to, I already told him that you are injured."

"Don't worry. I will be there with you. I have something to talk to him about also."

"May I ask, what it is about exactly?"

"About the mission. About how he should make it our mission since we're soul mates." He answered truthfully, "You're my soul mate and I have to take care of you even though I know that you're more than capable of doing it yourself."

Natasha couldn't resist kissing him again. They had coming a long way from when they first met and he was now completely changed.  _Is this the side that Peggy Carter once saw?_  The other side of Steve Rogers that nobody got a chance to see but the two women who were his life mate and his soul mate.

She loved it.

But their peaceful morning was interrupted when JARVIS informed them that the SHIELD quinjet was already waiting for them on the helipad. The couple quickly took a shower and took off in the quinjet together.

"Fury must have something important to talk to us about." She said.

"Yeah, it must have something to do with the thing in your USB drive."

"Shit, I completely forget about it."

"You have better thing to take care of yesterday. I'm sure he will understand it." He calmed her down.

They arrived at the Triskelion. Hill immediately took them to Fury's office.

"Romanoff and Rogers are here, sir."

"Thank you, Agent Hill." Fury spoke up, "Romanoff, I believe you have the flash drive with you." Natasha handed the USB to her boss, "I expected the full report from both of you within two days. I will have my agents pick it up."

"Yes, sir."

"There will be another mission for both of you next few weeks. Here are the files that I would like you to study because it will be an undercover mission and you two will go in without back up or extraction plan." Fury explained before turning to Steve, "Are you sure you can handle this, Cap?"

"Shouldn't be a problem, sir."

Maria handed them a briefcase, "In this case, it will contain every information about the target. From bodyguards to the security system to the blueprints of the building."

"Any question about the assignment?"

The couple looked at one another before Natasha nodded, "We would like to talk to you about the mission and how you compartmentalize it."

The soldier and the spy proceeded to tell the director everything about the previous mission and how they felt. The compartmentalization wasn't working with them and how they were now connected on every level. They also emphasized on if someone get hurt, the other will feel it too.

"So you two now come as a package deal."

"Yes, sir." Steve replied, "I have to know what she is doing but I will not interfere with her mission. Just let me know so I don't have to worry about her."

"I do understand, Captain." Fury nodded, "Thank you for bringing this up so we will not repeat it again."

"Thank you for the understanding, boss." Natasha said.

"If that is all. You two may go now." Fury said, "And Romanoff, make sure Captain Rogers is fully recovered."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Steve slowly stirred from his slumber to find that Natasha was not in bed. Yesterday, he could only watch Natasha sparring with Clint and Thor while he sat on the bench. Natasha relied on her speed to dodge Clint and Thor's attack.

She really did amaze him every moment they were together.

Steve got up from bed but then he heard someone screaming in his mind,  _Steve!_  The Captain knew right away it was his soul mate calling for him and from her voice she seemed to be in pain. Steve followed his instinct and ran to her even he didn't know where she was.

"Natasha!" He called out.

"I'm here"

Her voice was from the kitchen and Steve found Natasha was gripping her blood-soaked left hand. Steve gently took a look at the wound on her middle and index finger.

"Are you alright?"

"Hurt a little but I dealt with worse." She replied, "I'm a goddamn assassin but got cut by a knife during cooking breakfast!"

"It's alright, Natasha." He reassure, "The wound isn't deep."

He went for a first aid kit before he began to tend to her wound. Natasha slightly winced every time he applied alcohol.

"You called me, you know? I heard you call me in my head." He said, "And I felt the pain too."

"When the knife cut me, the first thing that came in my mind is you and I maybe unconsciously called you in my head out load."

"So…we are telepathically connect?" He wrapped the plaster around her finger carefully.

"Probably"

"This is a whole new level of soul mate, isn't it?" Steve finished up with her wound and kissed it lightly on her wound.

"Yeah, it's the whole new level that I bet no one has ever experienced before."

"Why does it keep happening to us?"

"I don't know." Steve admitted it, "Maybe it had something to do with how long we had to wait for each other. I waited for my soul mate for almost 90 years and you waited for me 71 years."

"I supposed it could be that way." She agreed, "Nobody has ever had to wait a lifetime to meet their true mate."

"But we still found each other." Steve leaned in to kiss her lovingly.

Natasha leaned into his body and rested her head on his shoulder while Steve held her in his arms. Steve inhaled her scent, relishing in the facts that this moment is real. He found his soul mate and she was in his arms, safe and sound.

"Is you shoulder fully healed?" She asked

"Yeah. Why?"

"We're going to IKEA, dummy after breakfast."

Steve pulled away from her, "What in the world is IKEA?"

"We will buy new furniture for our floor."

"I don't think we…."

"It's a date, soul mate."

"Okay…I will cook you a breakfast then since your hands…"

"Yeah, yeah, since my clumsiness made me cut myself."

Steve cooked her another delicious meal then they took a shower and met up at the garage. Natasha already stole a key of Clint's truck, to Steve's disagreement. Natasha insisted that Clint had allowed her to use it anyway.

Natasha drove them to the store and made a remark that this was the first time they went on a furniture shopping together. Even the couple were in disguise as a hipster, they still attracted a lot of attention just by their presence. Nerdy clothes couldn't hide Steve's perfect body and she had to keep her man close. Every girl in IKEA eyed her man since they had stepped inside the building.

"Can you remind me again why we have to buy new furniture?" Steve asked as they walked through the showroom.

"Because since we're gonna live together on the same floor from now on, I have to put something of mine in it too, you know, make it more feminine."

"Whatever you say, Natasha."

He put his arm around her shoulders as Natasha tried to pick up everything she saw. Natasha picked everything that she wanted and Steve trusted her judgment. She made note of everything that she wanted, from a new mug to a giant sofa, or a new bed sheet to set of fluffy pillows, until Steve thought it was getting a little bit out of hand.

"Natasha, we don't need a triple hammock on our floor." Steve shook his head, "We didn't live near the beach. We live in the center of New York."

"Nonsense, Steven. We can turn it into a beach house if we want to." Natasha disagreed, "I want to add the hammock at our reading corner."

"Fine, just one, okay?"

"Triple, pleaseeeee" She asked and gave him a puppy dog eyes and Steve knew he was already defeated by her, "I will sleep on the top one and you can sleep on the lower one if you're afraid."

"But who's gonna sleep in the middle one?" Steve asked before sighed, "Fine, triple hammock it is."

She noted down another one on her list. Steve leaned in to take a look at it.

"That is quite a long list. I'm pretty sure it would cost a fortune."

"Don't worry. Stark gave everyone a credit card. I'm pretty sure he gave it to you too."

"Yeah, but I prefer buying something when I really need it, not just spending on everything. I don't know, I was born during the great depression. It's a habit."

Natasha smiled fondly at him and then crossed out the triple hammock and put down only one but a big one so they could share. She asked him to tell her more about how hard it was to live in that era and Steve told her everything. They flopped themselves down on the bed to test the mattress as he continued to tell her how he got beat up when he was a kid.

She had to admit that she loved his stories. The tales of the great Captain America. His story had more hope than her origin. He never had to kill so many innocent lives. It made her wondered again, why would god chose a dark one like her to be with a man who is symbol of hope and light.

Maybe he was here to give her hope.

"You're not a bad person, Natasha." He whispered gently in her ear as she felt his arms snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to his body as if he sensed her self-loathing thought, "What they forced you to do or programmed you to do, it wasn't your choice."

"I know but sometime…I just…I just want something I can't have. I want a life as normal as other people but I was trained as an assassin, a spy, since I was a little girl."

"But everyone could have a fresh start and you have one now. So don't look back…don't let your past dictate your future." Before she could say anything, he kissed her tenderly on her and Natasha could only lean into his body.

The kiss was getting more heated and Natasha was almost on top of Steve.

"Sorry but can you two stop doing that?"

The two jumped away from one another and they saw a family standing in front of them. The mother was covering her son's eyes.

"There are children around here." The father scolded.

"We're profusely sorry, sir." Steve said before dragging Natasha away from the bed section, "Let's go."

"We're really sorry." Natasha said before ducking her head so they didn't remember who she was.

It turned out to Natasha was the one who dragging him away because she sensed that the boy was starting to recognize her. They managed to get out of their line of sight before anything happened.

"Someone almost recognized me." Natasha sighed.

"This is why we should get out of here now. You already have a lot of things in that list."

"Yeah, we should get going. It is almost dinner and it is Pepper and Jane's turn to cook so we better not miss it."

"Because it's delicious?"

"No" She shook her head, "They don't like it when someone's missing from the table."

The couple picked up everything and headed for the check out. Natasha dealt with the payment and Steve headed to the delivery service. The guy was doing the counting and calculated the additional cost for shipping while Steve kept his eyes on his soul mate.

"Sir, where's your home?" The delivery guy asked.

"Nata…" Steve was almost saying her name out loud but he cut himself out just in time, "Sorry, can you deliver everything back to Stark Tower?"

"Of course, sir."

Steve thought back of how he almost said that Natasha was his home. He was unconscious but he knew it was true in every sense. Natasha was his home. People expected you to say a damn place but he felt more home in her two arms than he ever felt in any place.

His soul mate was his only home.

"We will deliver it to your home within two hours, sir."

"Thank you."

Steve accepted the documents from the delivery guy before he headed to Natasha who was smiled brightly at him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips.

"Come on. Let's go home, soul mate."

* * *

They had an amazing dinner with their teammates. Pepper and Jane did their best and it turned out to be the best dinner they ever cooked for them. Tony whispered to Natasha that Bruce had to help them.

Steve and Natasha decided to go to bed early and will assemble the furniture tomorrow. Once the couple was already in bed and wrapped their arms around each other, the soldier and the spy quickly drifted off to sleep.

Around midnight was when Natasha felt Steve was shaking in his sleep as she too had a glimpse of his nightmare. She had been observing him and she knew that even though he made a progress with PTSD but he still had the same nightmare once a week. She also discovered the way to help pull Steve out of that nightmare. She reached her hands to touch his face and whispered gently to guide him out of that darkness.

Once his breath was even, Natasha still continued to sooth him before slowly getting back to sleep but when she woke up again in the morning, she found Steve gripped his hands tight at her wrists.

"Steve…let go of my arms." She nuzzled his neck to wake him up.

"Hmm?"

"My arms."

He startled awake and immediately let go, "Sorry…I just woke up and saw you reaching out for your gun again."

"Don't worry. I'm glad that you did it. Sometimes, habits die hard." Natasha closed her eyes again, "What were you dreaming about?"

"The same thing." He replied, "I saw the train and my best friend before I heard your voice and then everything changed."

"Glad I can help"

Steve gently smiled and kissed the top of her head. The couple enjoyed the peaceful morning before they decided to get up. Natasha cooked them a breakfast while Steve was making them a coffee. The coffee was ready before breakfast even finished so Steve sat down at the stool opposite of her and began to draw Natasha.

"What are you doing?"

"Drawing."

"Drawing what?"

"I won't tell you."

"I can't help but notice that this is the first time you've picked up your pencil and paper again."

"It feels right again. I feel like I am finally feel like myself again."

"You've adjusted."

"You can say that."

Steve must admit that he couldn't stop smiling. Natasha has surely brought him out of the darkness in every sense of that word. From his black and white vision to his haunted memory and brought the real Steve Rogers that was hidden deep inside him out, the way Peggy could. He never felt the real happiness in this domestic life. Nothing was real until her.

How stupid of him to deny her?

When the couple were done with their breakfast, no one in the team was waking up yet so the couple headed back to their floor to begin assembling of the furniture they bought yesterday.

"Where should we start, Natasha?" Steve asked as they were looking at the amount of boxes in their living room.

"Maybe the hammock?"

"Okay, let's start."

They pulled everything out of the box before Natasha began reading the instruction. Steve didn't need her help in the assembling because he could lift everything by himself. Natasha only read the instruction out loud and he did as she told.

"Nat, you probably want to give me a hand here. It's a two man job!"

"I thought you could handle it well enough."

Natasha sighed and went to help him but when they hang the hammock on, Natasha jumped on it and didn't help Steve anymore and instead slowed him down.

"Natasha, you have to get out so I can move it to your reading corner." Steve said again but Natasha refused to move by shaking her head. Steve sighed, "Well, soul mate, I guess I have to force you."

Without saving another word, Steve simply lifted her up and tossed her on his shoulder which Natasha yelped out of her startling before laughing happily and trying to wiggle out of Steve grip.

"I'm not letting you go!" Steve said and hauled her around the living room.

"Let me go, Steve!"

"NOOO!"

"Steve!"

"Okay, soul mate. You're asking for it!"

Steve flung Natasha down the couch and she reached for the pillow and hit him hard on his head. Steve was disoriented for a moment.

"What was that for?" He asked and Natasha hit him again and this time, duck feather flew, "Hey! Stop doing that!" Steve yelped and got hit by a pillow again.

Then it turned into a pillow fight which both of them covered by duck feathers afterward. Natasha was hiding behind the couch while Steve flipped the coffee table to make his own fortress. But then the Black Widow snuck up on him and tackled him. Steve could only saw a flash of red for a second before he was laying on his back and saw Natasha straddled on him. Her laugh was melodic and Steve couldn't resist laughing along with her.

Natasha leaned closer and looked at him lovingly. Her eyes were like a sea of emerald and Steve found himself drowning in it. He couldn't stop staring at her.  _The light of his life_. Her small hands ran through his golden locks and picked out the feathers tangled in his hair.

His hands cupped both side of her face, looking at her with the equal amount of love in his ocean blue eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, a bit curious because he never looked at her like this. She almost felt  _love_  glimmering from his eyes and it made her heart skip a beat, "Is there something in my face?"

"No, no, my dear." He gently replied, "I know it's only been three months that we have been together and considering how badly I treated you way before we were together. But I couldn't keep it to myself anymore, Natasha, and I kinda want to tell you so bad to make sure that you understand my feeling just like I promise I will tell you everything."

"Steve, stop talking." She cut him off.

"But…"

"I love you." She said it out of nowhere.

Steve flipped her down on the floor, "Hey! You stole my line!"

She flipped them over and started kissing him furiously, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- How was it? They finally say the three little words. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	17. The Most Beautiful Time of the Year

**17 : The Most Beautiful Time of the Year**

  


Steve and Natasha came down from their floor to find that the living room was filled with people buzzing around, making loud noises. The couple stood still in front of the elevator as they watched their teammates. Clint was standing with one foot on the ladder, trying to put the giant glittered star on the top of the Christmas tree. Thor was lifting Jane with one hand as she decorated the fire place and his other hand handed her the ornament. Tony and Pepper was arguing about something in the corner while Darcy and Dr. Selvig were arranging all the presents under the tree.

  


Bruce was the only one in the kitchen, making everyone a breakfast so Natasha and Steve went to him.

  


“What’s going on here?” Natasha asked.

Clint turned to his best friend, “It’s the most beautiful time of the year!!!!!!!”

“Legolas, keep it down.” Tony yelled at the archer.

“It’s a week away. Why are you guys so excited?” Steve asked.

“It’s Christmas. What joy in the world could beat the joy of Christmas time?” Clint shot back, mocking an unbelievable face.

“You’re so childish, Clinton.”

“You’re the one to talk, Red.” Clint said, “Yeah, the deadliest assassin one the face of the earth running around the Christmas tree and waiting for the time to open the presents and won’t go to bed until I make you my secret Christmas hot chocolate with marshmallows for you.”

  


Steve burst out a laughter because Clint just revealed one of Natasha’s biggest adorable secrets. Natasha elbowed her soul mate and pointed at Clint’s face and made the archer shut up. Tony, on the other hand, was rolling on the floor laughing very hard.

  


“Now my reputation has been crushed by you. Thank you so much, birdbrain.” Natasha pouted and sat down on the countertop, waiting for Bruce to cook her an omelet and some bacon.

“Hey” Steve spoke up as he handed her a cup of coffee, “Do you think we could visit Peggy more often? It is the holiday season and I want to make sure she isn’t alone.”

Natasha smiled and kissed him, “How about today? I can fly the quinjet so we don’t have to get stuck in the traffic.”

“Yeah…thanks for the understanding.” He kissed her lovingly.

  


* * *

 

  
  


After the couple took a shower, they headed right to DC by quinjet, piloted by Natasha. She also taught Steve how to navigate the quinjet and operate the system. He was a quick learner and she loved that about him. He even asked her if he could pilot the jet back to New York.

  


“I trust you, Steve, but I will co-pilot it with you until you are really accustomed to it.”

  


Steve didn’t argue with her and continued to listen to what Natasha had to teach him. They landed in DC 30 minutes later. They had to park it at the Triskelion before having someone drop them off at the retirement community. They brought a vase of flowers for the old lady because Steve knew how much Peggy would love it.

  


But as they reached her room, they saw that Peggy was surrounded by her family who came to visit her. They decided to wait in front of the room until her family was done. Natasha could see the longing look in his eyes. She knew that he must have thought that it should be the life that he could have had. If he didn’t crash that plane, if he didn’t go under.

  


“Your will have that one day, Steve.” She reassured him.

“I know. I have you.” He replied with a sad smile, “I want to have that with you.”

  


They looked up to see that Peggy was also looking at them. She turned to talk to the young blonde woman who walked out of the room to invite them in.

  


“It’s alright, ma’am. We can wait until you guys finish.” Steve politely said.

“She wants to see both of you.”

  


The couple reluctantly followed the young woman inside as the rest of the family said goodbye to Peggy and only the blond stayed.

  


“Steve….” Peggy greeted and reached her hand out for him, “Natasha…”

“Yes, Peggy” Steve took her hand before gently kissed her forehead.

“I have someone that I would like to introduce to you.” Peggy gestured to the blonde woman, “This is my niece, Sharon Carter.”

“Nice to meet you, miss. I’m Steve Rogers.” Steve introduced himself and shook her hand, “This is my soulmate, Natasha Romanoff.”

“Nice to meet you.” Natasha said.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Sharon replied, “But it’s a shame that we don’t have a chance to talk today.”

“No worry, ma’am. We will be staying here for a couple of days.”

  


Sharon said goodbye again before leaving the three alone. Peggy looked at the couple in front of her and she already knew how happy and in love they were.

  


“I see that you guys are really happy.” She noted, “I’m really happy for both of you.”

“Thank you, Peggy.” Steve said.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to celebrate this holiday season in New York?”

“I wanted to visit you.”

“Steve just wanted to make sure that there is someone you spending the holiday with you.” Natasha explained because she knew Steve won’t tell Peggy the real reason.

“Oh…Steve, you don’t have to worry about that.”

  


Steve smiled shyly and avoided making eye contact with the two women he loved. The conversation quickly steered to how were they doing, how the first mission went, and how the couple will spend the holiday together. Steve said they didn’t have any plans for the holiday yet but he was sure that Tony must have some kind of plan for the rest of the team.

  


“Tony Stark?”

“Yes, he’s Howard’s son.” Natasha replied

“I only knew him when he was a little boy. Howard shipped him off to boarding school after a while. It’s a shame. Howard should have spent more time with his son.”

“Yeah…” Steve could only agree.

“I hope when you and Natasha finally have your own children, don’t make the same mistake Howard and I did. Don’t put your work above everything. It’s not worth it because in the end, family is what we have left.”

“Of course, Peggy.”

  


They wanted to take Peggy outside but the nurse wasn’t allowing it because she was afraid Peggy might catch a cold so the couple could only spend their time inside the room with Peggy until she said she was tired. They promised her that they would come back tomorrow.

  


Steve and Natasha took a cab to the restaurant nearby her apartment for dinner. They sat at their usual booth before Natasha did the honor of ordering everything for them. When the waitress walked away, Natasha turned to see Steve staring at her.

  


“Why are you staring at me?”

“You and Sharon know each other.”

“How do you know that? I thought I kept it pretty well all to myself.”

“I noticed and the soul mate thing kinda make us connected.” Steve replied, “Can you tell me more about her?”

“She’s a SHIELD agent, code name Agent 13 of the special service unit. She didn’t tell her family that she is working for SHIELD for their own safety, including Agent Carter too.”

“That explains it.” Steve said, “She must have followed Peggy’s footstep.”

“Sharon is indeed one of our brightest.”

  


The conversation was cut short when the waitress served their food. The topic suddenly changed to avoid the waitress knowing about their identities. But it was entirely changed when they began to eat and discuss their plans for the next couple days.

  


"We should go sightseeing because the last time we didn't have a chance." Natasha suggested, “We can walk around the National Mall, going to the museum and do anything that you would like to do.”

“Sounds lovely, dear.” Steve agreed, “Maybe we could visit Peggy in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, we should. We don’t know how long we can stay here until Fury calls us for another mission.”

  


* * *

 

  


“OLD MAN, WAKE UP!!!!” Natasha shouted at her soul mate who was still sleeping no matter how much she was trying to wake him.

“What is it, Natasha? It’s still pretty early in the morning.” He said and rolled himself over to her only to find his soul mate holding a bucket full of snow. He jumped away, “What the hell are you gonna do with that?”

“Wake you up.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” She laughed and put the bucket down, “Go get ready! We will grab a breakfast then off to the National Mall.”

  


Steve didn’t have a heart to stop his soul mate when she looked so happy. He got dress quickly before Natasha came in with arms full of winter wear that would protect him from cold.

  


“I think I have enough cold proof.” Steve said.

“No, you don’t.” She stepped closer and put scarf around his neck, beanie hat on his head, and a pair of gloves for him, “Am I okay now?”

“Yeah, you are. I don’t want you to feel any cold since the last time…you were…in the ice.”

“I have you now.”

  


Natasha smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the lips before dragging him out. They stopped at the door in front of the building. The spy turned to face her soul mate to make sure that he was ready. She didn’t know what the cold would do to him or would it bring back all of his terrible memories.

  


Steve stared out of the door to see the white snow on the street. Fear flashed in his eyes but it all gone the moment Natasha took his hand in hers. He turned to see her beautiful green eyes. _He had nothing to fear. He had her._

  


They stepped outside as the snow kept falling down lightly and some managed to land on her fiery red hair. Her crimson locks contrasted with the pure white snow.

  


“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered and took her glove of the pick the snow out of her hair before running his thumb along her cheek, “My soul mate….” His words was caught in his throat as he brought his lips down to hers in a passionate kiss that left Natasha’s heart skipped a beat.

  


Their fingers intertwined. Natasha could feel the coldness of his bare hand. But for Steve, even the weather was freezing cold but her hand was always warm, as warm as summer.

  


“I love you.” He murmured against her lips as they parted away for some air.

“I love you too, Steve.”

  


They smiled as they leaned their foreheads against one another, savoring this beautiful perfect moment. Natasha slowly pulled away from the warmth of his body and led him to the sandwich place nearby for their breakfast and coffee. They strolled around to find a perfect spot at the Lincoln memorial to eat their breakfast while watching the sunrise over the National mall.

  


Natasha turned to see Steve’s jaw drop in awe of the beautiful scenery in front of him. His blue eyes sparkled under the first ray of sun light.

  


“It’s more beautiful than I remember back in my day.” He said.

“I love coming here to think and to be alone. Not many people come here this early in the morning.” Natasha told, “But it was completely different from the last time I was here because this time I have my soul mate and I can see color.”

  


Steve smiled, knowing that it was the same to him too. The last time he was in DC was his bond tour and he needed to escape the show manager so he snuck out of the hotel to come here. But he couldn’t see the color and the beauty of it as he did today.

  


They finished off their breakfast and coffee when they noticed a lot of people had come here, even they were just a tourist or runners, Natasha didn’t want anyone to notice them so they headed to somewhere else but didn’t forget to take a selfie of them along the way to send all the photo back to Clint at the Tower.

  


“Awww, your face is so funny in this one.” Natasha showed him in photo in her phone.

“Because you hair is in my mouth.” Steve retorted, “Why are we doing this? We can just ask someone else to take the photo for us.”

“What’s the fun in that?” She asked back, “And this is what people in this century do.”

  


Natasha was prepared to take another photo when Steve stopped her and looked at her right in the eyes.

  


“I’m sorry for bringing this up again but I feel the need to say it again even you say you don’t want to hear it anymore.” Steve quickly rumbling everything in his mind out, “I’m sorry for hurting you so many times. Being a very stupid jerk when I met you.”

“It’s okay. I was a jerk to you too.” She smiled gently and cradled his face in her hands, “I am your first serious relationship, I presume.”

“Yes, you can say that” He nodded, “And I’m your third?”

“Kinda.”

He frowned, didn't like what he just heard, “Hmm?”

“I tried to date so I could find someone who can qualify as my life mate but my career isn’t exactly the type of work you should get too personal with someone. It's lonely and depressing sometimes.” Natasha clarified before letting out a sigh, "When all you see is black and white."

Steve’s face suddenly had a big sly smile, “You’re getting personal with me now.”

Natasha chuckled, “And turned out we’re both waiting for each other this whole time.”

“I’m glad that destiny made us soul mates. I was very stupid and selfish not to open myself up to you before.”

“I hope you really see me as who I really am. Not my mask or any layer of lies I crafted or just a…replacement of someone.”

“You are one of the kind, Natasha.” He reassured.

“You are so sweet lately.” She noted but couldn’t resist smiling back at him.

“Only to you”

  


They went to the museum which Natasha had too much fun making joke about how old he was and which exhibition in the museum that he belong. Steve had to remind her that if he was a fossil, she was a fossil too, considering she was only 24 years younger than him. Natasha only punched him in the arms but continued on with her jokes.

  


The couple reached the section that exhibited a tribute to the Avengers for their courage in the battle of New York and saved the world from the alien invasion. Steve was in awe of how they fight together as a team and getting along so well in a short amount of time.

  


"You led them?" He asked when his eyes locking at the one sentence, _'Even with a rough start, the Avengers came together as one under the temporary leadership of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.'_

"I didn't exactly led them. I just reasoned with them that if they didn't work together, everyone they loved and cared for will die." She clarified, "No one is willing to follow someone like me into battle, Steve."

"I will." He blurted out.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I trust you.” Steve replied, “I don’t know about anybody else but you have me at your corner.”

“Thank you for believing in me.” Natasha leaned up to kiss him, “Shall we move on to another section so you can see what other of our teammates been doing before you came back?”

“Yeah”

  


Steve learned a lot that day. He read files from SHIELD but never had a chance to learn it from a civilian point of view. How much that the Avengers has inspired everyone. How every kids in this entire nation look up to them? Little boys and girls running around with superheroes costumes, looking at the picture of them in awe.

  


He was glad that there was someone willing to protect the earth while he can’t. The only regret Steve had was that he didn’t have a chance to join in the battle with his soul mate.

  


They walked around the museum until almost afternoon when they went out to find something to eat before heading to the retirement community. Steve and Natasha brought along the flower and spent two hours talking to the old woman.

  


“You two should come to my home tomorrow.” Peggy said, “They will take me back home to have a nice pre-Christmas meal because Sharon had to travel overseas for her work during Christmas.”

Steve turned to look at Natasha as if he was asking that she was okay with this. Natasha nodded and replied to Peggy, “Of course we will.”

“Thank you, Peggy.”

“No need to thank me. You two are more than welcome.”

  


The conversation was cut when Natasha received a phone call from Tony. She excused herself and went outside.

  


“What is it, Tony?”

“Hey, turd! You have to come back to New York by tomorrow to prepare for the Christmas party.”

“I’m sorry but we can’t.” Natasha said, “We promised Peggy that we will join her family for a party at her place.”

“WHAT???? Now you’re bonding with his life mate too?”

“She’s nice, Stark. And I don’t know how long she will live so I want Steve to spend as much time as he can with her.”

“But we need you to help organize everything!”

“Pepper isn’t there?”

“Yeah, she has company matters to deal and I have a bunch of idiots helping me at the tower.”

“Okay, we will be back by the day after tomorrow.”

“Fine” Tony sighed, “See ya, turd!”

  


The billionaire hang up and Natasha got back inside the room to deliver the news to her soul mate. Steve was quite disappointed that he has to leave DC so early because he started to like spending his time here in this city with Natasha and he could get a chance to visit Peggy any time he wanted.

  


“I will be fine.” Peggy said, “Don’t be over dramatic. Natasha can bring you here anytime you want.”

  


* * *

 

  


“I look stupid in this sweater.” Steve muttered when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

“No, you do not. I picked it for you.” Natasha corrected and put on her own matching sweaters.

  


Steve was wearing a red sweater with a snowman on it while Natasha was wearing a green sweater with reindeer with big red nose on it. She brought it yesterday at the store for them on their way back home from the retirement community.

  


“People wear it during Christmas.” She added.

“Fine.” He sighed again and put on other cold protection.

  


Ten minutes later, the couple was ready to go to Peggy’s party. Steve brought two apple pies while Natasha picked three bottle of finest red wine. They were at the front door and Sharon invited them in. Peggy was in the living room with her grandchildren and receiving love from everyone. Sharon took the pie and had her cousin took the wine from Natasha.

  


“You should go talk to her.” She told the couple.

  


When Peggy saw them, she smiled lovingly at the sight. Steve was never one for a silly outfits because he always wore a uniform properly or even when he didn’t wear a uniform. He will wear everything formally. But then she saw him in that snowman sweater, she knew he only did it because it made Natasha happy.

  


They had a little nice chit chat before the dinner started. Peggy was sitting at the head of the table with her honored guests on her left and right.

  


“Thank you all of you for throwing this party for me.” Peggy started her speech, “And also thank you to my friends, Steve and Natasha. As for you, Steve, I know that you are lost in this world but now that you found your soulmate, I can see how happy you are and that was the only thing I ever want for you. For Natasha, thank you for putting up with him for a long time. I wish you all the best and share a happy life with him.” She paused and took a deep breath before raising her glass of wine, “To Steve and Natasha.”

  


Everyone raised their glasses to the couple and repeated after her. Steve and Natasha gave everyone a warm smile.

  


“Thank you.” Steve said and gently squeezed the old woman’s hand.

  


Peggy returned a smile before getting back to her speech to every member of her family before they prayed and began to eat the delicious dinner. It was another peaceful and warm moment the couple had. They never had a family event like this for a very time and they will about to have one again in a couple days.

  


When they finished with the dinner, most of the family members took care of the dishes while Natasha and Steve took Peggy back to the living room and let her sit in front of the fireplace. Natasha let Steve have a moment alone with Peggy while she was assisting Sharon’s cousin, Jennifer, play with her toddler son.

  


Steve couldn’t help but smile, to see his beloved woman get along so well with children. His blue eyes sparkled with joy when he realized that, for mere second, he had a vision of him and Natasha having their own baby.

  


“You can have that life you once wanted to have with me, Steve.” Peggy spoke up when she noticed how Steve was looking at Natasha, “She is your present and your future now.”

"I know, Peggy. But I wish you could see me married her, having my own children."

"I still have some time left. If you hurry, I will get to hold your son or your daughter." She joked.

Steve chuckled, "I don't know if I could love someone this much after you."

"She's your soul mate. Anything can happen. The one true love specially made for you. We're both lucky to find them after what we both have been through." Peggy replied, "I also have a gift for you. Something that I have kept with myself for a very long time."

  


Peggy reached her hand to the table next to her for the gift wrapped with red paper.

  


“Thank you, Peggy.” Steve replied and began to tear the wrapped paper. He opened the box to find something from his past. Something that made him smiled when he thought about it. His hand gently lifted the destroyed radio transmitter, “The transmitter you gave me before I jumped of the plane to rescue Bucky.”

“Yes, it is.”

“The fondue moment” He smiled at the thought of how he was completely stupid and didn’t know a damn thing about women, “How stupid of me to think that fondue ment sex?”

Peggy laughed, “And I wanted to slam your head against the wall after that.”

“I deserved it.” He admitted before he reached into his pocket and presented her with a gift too, “A gift for you too.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.”

  


Steve helped Peggy tear the paper off before she opened the box to find something that made her smile too.

  


“Your compass” She looked at the small compass in her hand. Peggy opened it to discover that the picture that he cut off from the newspaper was still in there, “I kept it with me the whole time…even when I crashed that plane.”

“Thank you, Steve.” Peggy could only say.

  


She was happy to know that at least she will be in his heart forever. She knew damn well, first love were always the hardest to forget.

  


“I have something for Natasha too. Can you give it to her later when you get home?”

“Of course.”

  


Peggy handed him another gift with a card written Natasha’s names.

  


“I don’t have much time left. You know that, right?” Peggy said it out of nowhere with a serious look on her face.

He grimaced when she brought this topic up again, “I do know that but I don’t want to think about it just yet.”

“Go, Steve. Spend some time with Natasha.” She continued, “You already spent a lot of time with me this evening.”

“As you wish, ma’am.” Steve smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

  


Steve got up from his seat and went to his soulmate and wrapped his arms around her waist as she held the little baby in her arms. He kissed her cheek lovingly and Natasha leaned back into him, relishing in the warmth from his body she grew to love so much.

  


The party went on with the happiness and love filling the air but it soon ended when Peggy felt tired. Steve and Natasha bid everyone a goodbye.

  


“We will see each other again soon.” Peggy said and hugged Steve and Natasha.

“We will.” Steve promised.

  


The couple went back to Natasha’s apartment. They took a shower separately but when Steve came to their room, he already found his soulmate in bed, waiting for him. Natasha was paying attention entirely at something else to notice that Steve was in the room with her.  He then saw what was in her hand and what took her attention. It was no doubt a gift from Peggy, a framed picture of him before the transformation.

  


“Is this you before the super serum?”

“Yes, that is me.” He replied, “Fro I’m exactly what it was written in SHIELD file. That’s the frail, fragile me before all this muscles.”

“I’m glad that she gave this to me.” She said, “I really want to know you before you became Captain America.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, “Sweetheart, it’s nothing interesting at all.”

“We will see about that but right now, we should get some sleep. We have to head back to New York early tomorrow.”

Steve smiled before pecked at her lips, “Good night, Natasha.”

“Good night, Steve”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	18. The Christmas Party

The couple arrived at the Tower around 9 AM in the morning only to find chaos. Tower staff were everywhere with Tony, and Pepper oversaw everything to make sure it was all perfectly in place.

"You said that you needed us back." Natasha spoke up and gave Tony a deadly glare.

"Pepper knew it would be a mess if she let me handle this alone so she flew back from LA to spend the holidays with me early." Tony turned to tell one of the staff in Spanish to move the Christmas tree to the center of the living room.

"He literally begged me over the phone." Pepper whispered to the couple to tell the truth.

"That sound more like him." Natasha said.

"You two should go get some rest or do whatever you want." Pepper suggested, "I will send someone to measure your tuxedo and evening gown this afternoon. It's for the Christmas party."

"Why do we need a tuxedo and a gown?" Natasha asked. Voice gone cold and dangerous as she knew Pepper and Tony were hiding something.

"We kinda invited…like a hundred people from the mayor to the senators and important people."

"Pep!" The spy whined, "You know I don't like a crowd or a huge party!"

"Everyone wants to hang out with the Avengers, darling." Tony chimed in, "Especially me."

Natasha unleashed a string of Russian curse and walked to the elevator with Steve following behind. He wasn't one for a big party either. So he and Natasha might plan to head out of town before Tony and Pepper forced them.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Natasha spoke up once they were alone on their floor, "I don't want to be a part of this party."

"Sure, where do you want to go?"

 _"May I say something, ma'am, Captain?"_  JARVIS chimed in.

"Sure, JARVIS, go ahead." Nat replied to the AI.

_"Mr. Stark and Miss Potts have got me tracking you and to alarm them the moment you leave the tower and Mr. Stark said that I have to do anything in my power to keep both of you inside the tower until the party."_

"I'm a world class spy, JARVIS, and I have Captain America by my side."

 _"I am sure you can sneak out of the tower, ma'am."_  JARVIS said,  _"But the rest of the team will be at the party too. If that makes thing better."_

"Fine…we will be there and wake us up when the tailor is here."

_"Yes, ma'am"_

Natasha turned to her soul mate. Hands tugged at the hem of his shirt, "Soldier, I will take a little nap and I hope you will join me."

Steve smiled, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

The tailor came in the afternoon to measure their outfits for the party. Natasha helped pick the perfect tuxedo for Steve who wasn't sure of which one would suit him the best.

But she didn't let him be a part of choosing her gown.

"What's the surprise in it?" She asked and closed the door to her room in his face.

"That's not fair!" Steve yelled.

"I want to make your jaw drop when you see me tomorrow night!"

"You always make my jaw drop on daily basis, Natasha. I don't think I could do more than I already was!"

"Stop arguing! I have to try on my dress, Steven."

Steve sighed and retreated back to the living room. His eyes were on the TV but his mind wandering to his soul mate. He closed his eyes and tried to reach out into her mind as if it would help him see what dress she picked.

 _'That's cheating, soul mate.'_  Her voice rang in his head. She was aware of his presence inside her head too.

 _'I just want to see how beautiful you look in the dress you pick.'_  He replied and gave her a boyish grin.

_'Go away!'_

_'Okay….'_

Steve opened his eyes and snapped out of the telepathic conversation with his soul mate. He caught a glimpse of her dress. It was a golden dress that would surely made her skin glow and make her eyes sparkle.

Clint came to Steve's floor after he finished with his measurement. The archer popped down next to the captain and had a little conversation with him. The archer casually asked everything in general about the current situation of Steve and Natasha's relationship.

But Steve knew too well that Clint only wanted to know if Steve had hurt Natasha again or not. Steve told Clint everything honestly and didn't cover up any detail about the trip to Washington DC and how he and Natasha spent most of their time at the retirement community with Peggy Carter.

"I don't know how she was able to do it…how she could understand me that much?"

"She's the best, man. You are lucky to have her as your soul mate. Natasha could act all cold and distant but everyone is deceived by her mask. She is more than that if you let her in and she let you in."

"I know. I was so blind and I regret every second of it."

"Don't be. You're better than the first few months. Move on from that, Cap. Stop living with the guilt. She already forgave you like a thousand times."

Steve smiled at the younger man, "I will." The captain promised, "Thanks, Hawkeye."

"No worry, cap." Clint playfully punched Steve's arm, "I only want what is best for both of you."

"Will you bring anyone with you tomorrow night?"

"Nah, I'm flying solo. There is a rare chance I will meet my soul mate…let alone life mate in that party."

"Don't lose hope, Clint. Everyone will find someone."

"Hope you're right." The archer said, "By the way, Coulson will bring his current team members with him. Stark wants to meet the two genius kids…Fitz and Simmons."

"I heard Coulson called them Stark and Banner of the Bus team." Natasha added as she appeared in the living room.

The two men turned to see her walk with the tailor who assured her that she will deliver the dress by tomorrow morning. Natasha saw her out and then came back to sit between her men before laying down with her head on Steve's laps and her legs on Clint's laps.

"I also heard that Bobbi Morse will tag along too." The spy eyeing at her best friend, knowing that the name will get him, every time.

"You're still trying to match me with her?" Clint's brow quirked up, "It's a long time ago and she has no chance of being my soul mate and we shared no life experience."

"You are her SO."

"Yes, I'm only her SO. We've been on a mission together three times. She then married to some Scottish guy she met. After Fury formed Strike Team Delta, I didn't have a chance to see her again."

"Married?" Steve chimed in.

"Yeah, she's divorced."

"See! Now this is your chance." Nat concurred.

"We're just fellow SHIELD agents, damn it!"

"Just give it a try, okay?" Nat sweetly asked, "She's your best chance."

Clint couldn't help but smile at her adorableness, "I'll try."

"Now get the hell out of here! My soul mate and I are having a make out session before we take another nap."

Clint mocked vomit and quickly ran to the elevator because he didn't need to see his best friend and her soul mate sucking each other's face off.

* * *

"Wake up, soul mate!" Natasha loudly screamed at Steve who was still asleep, "It's Christmas and time to open the gifts from Santa!"

Steve turned to her, rubbing his eyes, "You do know that Santa isn't real."

She punched him in the chest for saying that, "Santa is real!"

"We will have to talk about this before we explain to our kids about Santa."

"Our kids, huh?"

Steve intensely blushed when he realized what he just said and avoided looking at her beautiful green eyes, "Uh—I mean…I"

"You're so cute when you stutter." She smiled and pecked a kiss on his lips, "Do you really think about our babies?"

"Yeah, I can't see why we can't have one of our own." Steve replied, "I love you."

"I love you too, Steve." She returned the sentiment, "But we will discuss about this later…right now, I just want to open all the gifts!"

She dragged Steve down to the living room where there was a huge pile of presents under the Christmas tree. Most of the residents of the Tower were there but no one looked as excited as Natasha.

"I told you she will be like a little kid during Christmas." Clint whispered to Steve.

"I love to see her happy."

"You're making her happy...well that and Christmas."

Tony allowed Natasha to go first and open a box. The team slowly unboxed everything and took time to cherish the considerate gifts from their friends. Steve got new gadgets from Tony (the billionaire insisted Steve still needs to learn a lot of things), Clint gave both Steve and Natasha tickets to Maldives, Pepper gave a completed set of art equipment while, Thor gave both Steve and Natasha finest Asgardian clothes which were made from gold, silver and gems. Bruce gave him a set of books that would help him catch up with everything.

Steve was overwhelmed by love and care from his friends. He never got a chance to have a Christmas like this when he was a kid. His family were poor and during the war, they only celebrated for a short amount of time.

Steve reached for the last box. It was Natasha's.

"Should I be worried about your gift?" He teasingly asked.

"Yeah, it will explode when you open the box." She deadpanned

He smiled and began to tear the paper to find a small box. He opened it to find a silver cuff bracelet with an engraved of hourglass and star next to one another.  _The symbol of them_.

"This is beautiful." He said, "Thank you, soul mate."

"Let me put it on."

He handed her the bracelet before she cuffed it at his right wrist. Steve looked at them again, "I will take it with me everywhere."

"You should."

"Why don't you opened my gift?"

Natasha looked at the small box of gift in her hands. It was small compare to the other gifts everyone gave her. But this was from her soul mate so she knew, it will mean more than anything for her.

The tears suddenly filled her eyes when she saw the almost exact same gift but it was a silver necklace with a metal pendant in shape on his shield but with an hourglass instead of a star.  _It was their symbol_.

"Mind if I put it on for you?" Steve gently asked.

Natasha's hand trembled as she gave Steve the necklace. Steve put it around her neck. It looked perfect on her.

"Do you like it?" Steve asked and placed a kiss on her neck.

"Yes, I love it." She replied and tilted her head back to kiss him, "What is it made off anyway?"

"The bullet I took for you on our first mission. I had Tony help me."

Natasha's eyes widened as she turned to him to see his bright smile. He loved to see her shock expression.

"Thank you so much, soul mate." She said, "It means a lot to me."

"Anything for you, darling."

* * *

The evening of the Christmas party finally arrived. Steve was finished dressing up himself and waiting for Natasha in the living room. He was curious of what she would wear for tonight.

A cough came from his left as he turned to see his soul mate walking toward him. His jaw dropped when he saw her in the dress. A gold, deep V-neck and open back, floor length gown really complimented her perfect hourglass figure. She completed the look with the silver necklace he gave her and a pair of pearl earrings. He also caught a glimpse of her black platforms which added on a few inches for her. Even with the high heels, she was only to about his shoulder.

_He loved how tiny she was but yet so perfect in his embrace._

Steve was trying to find the right word to compliment her but all he could say was, "You're the most beautiful woman I ever seen in my entire life."

"Awww, thank you."

"But is it a bit revealing?"

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"Come on, soul mate. You got a chance to make everyone envious."

"I don't want any man to look at you."

"They won't be looking if I have my big buff soul mate by my side."

Before Steve could make any argument, Natasha silenced him with a kiss on his lips. She intended to be just a teasing kiss but Steve pulled her closer. Two big hands landed on her exposed back and deepened the kiss. Natasha could only melt and let it all go, relishing in his passionate kiss and reverent touch. When they broke away, she could see the fire burning in his eyes.

"We're late for the party." She panted.

"I don't want to go now."

"Tony will not stop bitching about it if we bail."

"Fine. Let's go." He said, "Even though I want to stay here and make out with you all night."

A sassy smile donned her face, "I know."

They took the elevator down to the living area. Like Natasha said, they were late and the floor already filled with guests. Every head turned to their direction when they saw the Black Widow and a mysterious man by her side. They all wondered, who was the man?

Steve stiffened up when he felt the gaze from every direction and he was sure that they were looking at his soul mate. He tightened his hold around her waist, sending a deadly glare to every man whose gaze was filled with dirty thought. The couple had all the attention for almost two minutes when the party continued. They met up with Thor and Jane at the bar before ordering drinks.

"You both look incredible, Lord Steven and Lady Natasha." Thor greeted.

"Thank you, Thor." Natasha said.

"You two have quite the attention, huh?" Jane spoke up.

"Yes, I quite enjoyed the attention and how my man got a little jealous when other men were looking at me?"

Steve pouted, "I don't like how they look at you."

"They can look but they can't touch, darling." Natasha smiled and looped her arms around his neck, "I'm all yours."

A bright smile appeared on his face, "All yours too."

Their lips met and suddenly the room heated up. Everyone silently fell their eyes on the couple but quickly averted. Public displays of affection always made people uncomfortable. Thor and Jane smiled when they saw how happy their teammates were but turned away to give them some privacy too.

"You turds should stop scaring my guests with your face sucking session."

They both pulled away with a groan. It was Tony and Pepper who interrupted them.

"Captain, we will announce your return tonight."

"My return?"

"Yes, telling the world that Captain America is back from the dead and ready to save the world again."

"Can we not do it?"

"It was the main purpose of the whole party!"

"No, I would like to preserve my privacy." Steve was adamant about the issue, "It will be dangerous and compromise me and Natasha."

"Everyone will know about this eventually."

"They will know when they know." Steve replied.

"Fine, I won't announce anything but let me tell you something then…don't act like you are a couple because people are beginning to talk about this."

Tony walked away to greet another guests while Steve turned to Natasha with a serious look on his face.

"There is nothing to worry Steve." Natasha ensued and rubbed his arms lightly to ease up his tension. He seemed to relax and leaned into her touch.

"I don't want our private life to be in the news."

"I work for SHIELD and they have a way to stop every tiny little picture of us before it was on the news."

They were debating about this until Maria came to get Steve for Fury. Steve didn't want to leave Natasha's side but she insisted she could wait for him here. The director wanted to talk to him about the next mission and how he wanted Steve and Natasha back together in the field.

"We are ready when the missions come up, sir." Steve replied.

But when they finished the conversation, Steve turned to his soul mate to find a man was talking to his soul mate. Every fiber in his body tensed up and unknown feelings and emotions flooded him.

"Don't beat him to death, cap." Fury said, "That poor man doesn't know that you two are soul mates."

"I will try, sir."

Steve marched toward Natasha. His eyes never left her for a second. She smiled seductively and devilishly at the man who slowly dropped his hand at her thigh. Steve reached them and tore the man away from her.

"What the hell, dude?" The man asked but when he saw Steve, fear filled him.

"She's my soul mate." Steve said harshly and standing in front of Natasha.

"Sorry, man. I didn't know."

The guy quickly left the couple. Steve turned to see Natasha laughing.

"It's not funny at all." The captain said.

"Yeah, it's funny how fast that guy run away from you and how stupid he was not to believe that I already have a soul mate."

"He didn't do anything to you, right?"

"If he did, I would break his fingers."

"That's my girl" He smiled proudly and leaned in to kiss on her plump lips

They clung tight to each other all night and successfully avoided talking to the people they didn't know. They even managed to sneak out to the balcony and sat at the darkest corner they found even though it was cold but there was a fire pit nearby. Natasha coaxed him into dancing with her to the tune of the music from the inside.

Steve was laughing and smiling all the time that made Natasha smiled with him and happy with him. It was the perfect moment and the most important thing was that they were perfectly happy.

Once they were tired of dancing, Natasha sat on Steve's laps and furiously made out with her soul mate. He absentmindedly ran his hands over the smooth skin of her back. He couldn't get enough of her lips or  _her_.

"Do you think…maybe…we should get back to our room?" Natasha asked between the kiss.

"Might be a good idea." Steve replied, "JARVIS, is there any way back to our room without being seen?"

"The stair to your left will lead you to the elevator without having to get past the crowd, sir."

"Thank you, JARVIS."

Natasha pulled him along and they went straight back to their room where Steve pinned her down on their bed and continued to kiss her hungrily. But as he trailed his lips down her neck, his phone rang and made him jump away from her.

"Perfect timing." He muttered before picking up his phone, "Steve Rogers speaking."

"Captain Rogers" The other person on the line addressed, "We have something to inform you, sir. It's about Margaret Carter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	19. The Goodbye

Steve sat up straight. His face turned serious and his calming ocean blue eyes turned into stormy grey ones in a matter of seconds. Natasha watched him closely as his happiness faded away almost instantly. She reached out for him in his mind but he recoiled.

"But I just visited her a couple of days ago." Steve's voice was shaking. Sadness filled his eyes.

The man on the other side of the line kept telling Steve everything while the Captain listened in silence. Natasha sat up and reached her hands out to comfort him, letting him know that she's here with him.

"I will be there tomorrow. Please inform the Carters that." Steve hung up and turned to Natasha but he didn't say anything.

"What is it, soul mate?" She asked with concerned voice.

"Peggy passed away…I…." He fell into silence, trying to hold back tears, "But we just…visited her."

Her arms immediately wrapped around him, pulling him closer, "Hey…I'm here. Maybe she passed away without any pain or worries left."

"I hope so."

"Shall we leave for DC?"

"Are you okay with it?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, soul mate."

She kissed him and reached her soul out to his, to comfort him and let him know that she was with him in this. He never had to do anything alone.  _He had her_.

Steve leaned into her, buried his face in her shoulder and trying really hard to hold back the tears. He had to be strong. He couldn't drag Natasha down with him when they shared all emotions like this.

"Let it all out, Steve. You don't have to hold back with me."

That was when her Captain broke down again and let it all out. Even when the bond between him and Peggy Carter was broken but the feelings and experiences they shared weren't something that could easily erase. She was his first love and his life mate.

They sat there, in quiet for two hours. Steve was crying until there were no tears left in his eyes with Natasha holding him tight, soothing him without saying any words, knowing that he needed to grieve for his love one.

Then he broke the embrace and looking at her, trying to put on the brave face as much as he could. Natasha kissed away the last trail of his tears.

"Quinjet is on the helipad, if you want to go now." She quietly said.

"We should" Steve nodded and got up from bed.

"I will go change and we will meet up in ten minutes."

Steve too went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up, changing into new clothes. The couple flew to DC and told only JARVIS about this because they didn't want to ruin the holiday spirit for everyone.

The flight to DC was in a complete silence. Steve stared blankly into the night while Natasha piloting the plane. She sneaked glances at him all the time to see that he was doing okay. As far as she was concerned, he was holding up pretty good.

They arrived at the Triskelion before they headed to the hospital that Sharon told them.

"Thank you for coming, Captain Rogers." Sharon said once she met them at the hospital.

"How was she?"

"She passed away five hours ago and you don't have to worry. She had no pain or no worry left." The blonde informed, "The funeral will be held at Arlington in four days. She should rest with her friends."

The Captain fell into silence. Steve knew what she meant. Peggy must have seen that Steve could adjust with this world and she must see how happy Steve and Natasha was together. But he didn't prepare for this. He never thought she would pass away this fast.

"She left this for you." Sharon handed him a small paper box, "She said she want you to have it and carry on with your life."

Steve ripped it open to find the compass he gave her a couple days ago. She returned it to him but replaced the photo inside it with the picture of Natasha and had her picture framed. Steve cried again.

"You should get some rest, Steve." Sharon suggested.

But Steve didn't listen to her. His mind was already somewhere else and Natasha was the only one that could reach out to him. Her gentle touch on his back brought him back from the deep dark pit again. Steve turned his face to her. Blue eyes drowned with sorrow and pain that made her heart ache with him.

"Do you want to see her?" Natasha asked, knowing what he was thinking.

Steve nodded and Sharon took them into the morgue. Steve stood in silence as his eyes were on the lifeless body of his past love. It was too soon. He wasn't prepare for this, not when he just saw her a few days ago. She was alive and happy, celebrating with him.  _How come she passed away this soon?_

He didn't know how long he'd just stood there looking at Peggy. Natasha's hand silently slipped into his to bring him back to reality.

"Come on, soul mate. I will take you home."

He followed her. The only shelter of his in this darkest time. He didn't want to fall back into that deep dark pit again. It took him quite amount of time to shake the first depression off and now he's faced with another loss of his life again.

When they arrived home, Natasha could notice that Steve was completely numb. He just stared blankly into the distance. She took his hand and led him inside the bathroom. She filled the bathtub with warm water that might help sooth him. Her nimble fingers began to undress him. He didn't say anything and this marked the first time she saw him naked before her eyes.

Natasha undressed herself and followed Steve into the bathtub and straddled his legs. Their bared torsos pressed tight as she leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips. Arms woven around his neck. His hands settled at her hips and kissed her back, relishing by the feeling of Natasha, warm and alive in his embrace.

"Steve, she gone to the better place now." Natasha said when she parted away from him, "She burdened the life without her soul mate for long enough and she's finally joined him now."

Dark blue eyes stared back at her, trying to make sense of what she said but he wanted to deny it.  _All he had left was Natasha now_.

"Soulmate, you have to accept the truth." Her voice was soothing and gentle, trying to guide him back from the dark abyss he sunk himself in again.

"I know." That was all he answered.

"Don't fall back into that pit again."

"I don't want too." He tried to act strong but his eyes were screaming for help and it made her heart ache.

Natasha lunged forward and kissed him hard on the lips as if it will help pull him back. Steve kissed back with the equal fervor. She was the only lifeline for him. The only thing that held him with reality. His arms pulled her close and felt her soft skin flushed against his. Steve let out a low groan at the sensation he'd never had before.

Natasha pulled away only to mouthed her lips on his neck, peppered kisses and soft kitten licks on his skin. His low moan was a music to her ears. Steve too was kissing her shoulder, inhaling her addictive scent. When her nimble fingers slid down his chest to his abs and heading further downward, he quickly grabbed her wrists to stop Natasha from what she was about to do.

"No" He said. Voice leaving no place to argue, "Not like this…It isn't right…."

"It can help you feel better."

"No…not when I'm like this…I won't use you. We will do it when the time is right"

Natasha respected his wish and rested her hands on his shoulders. Green eyes looking at him lovingly.

"I love you, my soul mate." He whispered and kissed her shoulder.

"You don't have to deal with this alone ever again. You have me."

"I know and I thank god every day for you."

They kissed again and she felt Steve began to dial down his grief. They resumed helping each other cleaning off themselves and it was the first time Steve wasn't shy by her being naked. They soon finished up and dressed into their sleepwear.

"Thank you for everything, Natasha." He said before laying down next to her and gave her a quick kiss.

Natasha snuggled in his embrace, "What would you do without me." She yawned and closed her eyes.

"Exactly"

"Sleep now, baby."

Steve rubbed his thumb in circle on her shoulder and she relaxed in his arms but she still felt that Steve wasn't trying to go to sleep at all. Natasha thought of something that might help him close his eyes.

 _"Загляни ты в сердечко мне. И скажи "уходи" зиме. Ветер воет, а ты грей меня. Небо стонет, а у нас весна."_  An angelic voice sounded from his chest and it was the most soothing thing. Natasha got the most beautiful, alluring voice he'd ever heard, " _Попроси у облаков. Подарить нам белых снов. Ночь плывет и мы за ней. В мир таинственных огней_ _."_

It sounded like a Russian lullaby and something inside him began to let all the guards down. Nat could calm him in the way that no one could. Her voice continued to guide him until he finally closed his eyes and fall back to sleep.

* * *

The hardest thing for the next morning was to wake up. Steve didn't want to wake up to the reality that Peggy Carter was already gone. Natasha was tangled up with him and his embrace was too strong that she couldn't break. She was sleeping on top of him all night as if he used her as a blanket.

But then someone burst the door to their bedroom. They both startled awake and Steve pivoted himself in front of Natasha to protect her from the intruder.

Steve frowned, "What the hell, Tony?"

"You guys disappeared from the Tower so I activated the tracker in your phone. WE thought you got kidnapped by some villains." Tony explained.

"Morning, guys!" Clint boomed.

"Shut up, Clint." Natasha mumbled and held Steve from behind before resting her head on his back, "And what the hell are you guys doing here?"

"We worried about you." Tony said, "What's the urgency that made you guys came to DC the morning after Christmas."

Steve stiffened up and Natasha released her embrace. The captain turned to look at Natasha. He was reluctant to tell them about the situation they have going on.

"Why you have to make that face? What are you guys hiding?" Clint knew that face.

"Peggy Carter passed away last night." Steve replied.

He told everything. Tony and Clint listened in shock and sat down on the bed with the couple.

"Are you alright?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, I'm trying to cope with it." Steve replied, "But now I have Natasha with me. It wasn't so bad as the last time."

"Maybe we all should stay at my penthouse. The other guys already settled in at my penthouse. You guys shouldn't be alone at this down time." Tony offered.

"That's a good idea." Natasha agreed.

They helped Steve and Natasha pack their belongings before they moved to Tony's penthouse suite of Washington DC Stark tower. Steve and Natasha break the news for everyone again which all of them decided that they will stay with Steve and attend the funeral. Peggy was SHIELD's founder and they should be there to honor her.

Fury came in that afternoon to talk to them about the funeral and the people that will attend. Natasha immediately ran a check on their backgrounds and asserted the threats. As far as she was concerned, no one posed any threat or too shady. It was her job and she had to make sure that her family was safe.

Steve was staring out the window while everyone was talking about the funeral. Tony came up to the Captain.

"I remember her, you know? It's just a faint memory but it is a nice one. She held me when I was a kid while was running around my dad office." Tony spoke, "And then I didn't have a chance to see her again."

"Thanks for the sharing, Tony." Steve replied, "You're lucky to get to know her at least for a little while."

"I know. She's one of the best people I ever met." Tony noticed the sadness in Steve's eyes so he patted the captain's shoulder lightly, "She's in a better place now, cap."

But Steve didn't reply so Tony left the captain alone, knowing that everyone needed time to get over something. But he had Natasha with him now. It shouldn't get any worse. Tony smiled when he turned from the captain to see the spy looking at her soul mate. The billionaire knew from that look, she just shared the thought with Steve, being inside his head to make him feel better. It made the captain slightly smile even when they were standing across the room.

Yeah, they were soul mates and they were perfect for each other.

* * *

The funeral of Peggy held at Arlington. Every member of the Avengers and their significant others were there to support Steve and Natasha. It was a small funeral but was attended by the highest ranking members of SHIELD, members of the Security Council, Secretary of Defense, and heads of intelligent agencies.

The service went by slowly with the sadness filling the atmosphere. The family were still grieving over their lost and the Captain felt exactly the same. It was still too early even he knew it will come soon. The attendees of the service, some had a chance to work with and get to know Peggy Carter in person. They all said she was the nicest and one of the greatest people they ever knew and her sacrifice to maintain the freedom of humanity was something that should be written in the history at the same level with the tales of Captain America.

When the service ended, everyone began to go home. Tony took the team back to the tower but Steve insisted that he will stay a moment longer so Natasha had to be with him.

The Captain stared at the tombstone in silence. His whole body stiff. Blue eyes filled with pain. Natasha could only stand by his side and let him know that she was there with him. Even though it was heavily snowing today, it didn't seem to affect Steve. It was freezing and Natasha was shaking from her head to toe.

They didn't talk, simply stood still but she knew him better than that. She could feel him too. Grief consumed him but he still had a light at the tunnel to lead him back. Natasha was that only light in the darkness.

"Steve, I know you can't get sick but you can get frost bite." She said, "We should go back and we can come here again tomorrow."

He turned to her and saw that her lips turned purple from the cold. He immediately pulled her into his embrace to keep her warm, "How long have we been here?"

"Almost six hours" Natasha replied.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as they walked back to the limo.

When they were inside the car, Steve took off his jacket and wrapped it around her before he wrapped his arms around her again too. They arrived at Tony's penthouse and Steve went straight back to their room with Natasha in tow. Everyone was worried but she said she could handle grieving Steve.

"You can let it out, Steve." She soothed him, "There is nothing to hide from me."

"I know that she would be gone soon but it is still very hard to lose someone close to you."

"I understand. You can grieve for her as long as you want but you have to move on too." Natasha said, "You have to move on because Peggy wants you to be happy and enjoy your second chance."

"I know…" He sobbed and lunged forward to hug her, "I just need time."

"I know" She replied, running her fingers through his hair.

"What would I do without you?" Steve whispered weakly.

"I love you, soulmate. You have me and I will never leave you."

* * *

It had been going for three days. Finally, Steve was feeling better. They visited Peggy's grave together everyday and by the short amount of time, Steve recovered. He spent less time at the graveyard as each day passed. He admitted to her out loud one night that Peggy was gone. He stopped shaking in his sleep as well and on the fourth night, they finally slept peacefully again.

"Morning." That was the first word that Natasha heard when she opened her eyes to find a bright smile on Steve's face. It was the first time he smiled after Peggy's funeral. His blue eyes locked on her the whole time, showing nothing but love.

"Hey…" She gave him a morning kiss.

But as always, before things started to heat, someone interrupted them.

_"Apologize, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff but director Fury has an urgent matters to discuss with the Avengers."_

"I starting to hate Fury right now."

"JARVIS, please tell him that we will be downstairs in five minutes." Steve told the AI.

_"Yes, sir."_

The couple got up and dressed in more decent clothes before they headed downstairs where everyone in the team was already there. Fury was there with Hill and Coulson on his sides.

"What's going on? It's still very early for someone trying to conquer this planet." Natasha asked.

"I just got an autopsy report." Fury stated, "I thought it would be better if I waited until after the funeral to tell you about this, captain."

"Tell me what?" Steve could sense that something bad will come out of this. Natasha became on high alert as Steve tensed up.

"Peggy Carter was murdered." Fury said, "The autopsy report shows that her internal organs were contaminated with poison that was really hard to detect. I have my most trusted agents running through the surveillance footage from the retirement home and ran a background check on everyone who was working there and visited her."

"I have JARVIS run the test for the poison and it was one of the rarest. Very expensive and very hard to detect." Bruce explained, "It also took a long time before it began to work."

"How did it happen?" Steve's voice gone cold as his entire body shook up with anger, "HOW ACTUALLY DID IT HAPPEN?!"

"We don't know it yet, cap. But her entire nurse team and the retirement community was under SHIELD's control. Nothing could sneak past us."

"THEN THERE IS A MOLE IN YOUR ORGANIZATION!" Steve bellowed, barely controlling his anger.

"We don't know about that, captain. But I have a team of the people I trust working on the case. They are Coulson's team and they are here too. It became a pattern now that someone or some organization is trying to take out the current and former members of SHIELD. The number of deaths is high irregular and most of them passed away with unnatural causes and we found that they were murdered."

Steve was overwhelmed with anger and Natasha tried to calm him down. He shut her out again.

"SOLVE THIS AND FIND WHO MURDER HER OR ELSE I WILL HUNT THAT PERSON DOWN MYSELF!"

Steve stomped off, leaving the rest of the team in the living room. Natasha stared at Fury.

"Solve this." Her voice was as cold as her soulmate, "He's just getting better and now you want to drag him back into it."

"We all knew this when we choose to walk on this path. Nothing will get better or be normal." Fury replied, "I will head back to the Triskelion and see to this myself."

Fury left the penthouse. Natasha tried to communicate with her soulmate but he completely shut her off, ignoring her voice when she called him in his mind. She went to the gym to found him angrily punching the bag. Three were already destroyed, burst open by his powerful swing.

"Soulmate, calm down" She tried to bring him back from his deep dark pit, "Steve!"

He tuned but she saw nothing but anger and rage in his eyes. Gone the grief and sorrow. He turned back to continue destroying the punching bag, ignoring Natasha again.

"Stop it!" She yelled at him, "It's not good for you, Steve. Stop doing this!"

He did stop but didn't say anything to her. She slowly crept toward him, careful of how to approach him in such a delicate state. Steve lowered his stance and let Natasha wrapped her arms around him.

"We will go to my apartment, okay?" She told him quietly and felt Steve nodded, "We will get away from this so you can clear your head."

"Okay…"

* * *

The couple went back to Natasha's apartment. They walked passed her neighbor from across the hallway. They greeted her and had a small conversation to maintain Natasha's cover but before they parted ways, the neighbor spoke up, "Oh, and I think you left your stereo on."

The couple frowned at the statement, but Natasha sweetly replied, "Oh. Right, thank you."

The neighbor smiled at them before walking away. Steve and Natasha watched her go down the stairs before turning in suspicion to their door. Steve pulled his shield out of the bag and went to the fire escape stairs so he could enter the apartment from the window. Natasha will wait for him to sweep the apartment and will be his backup.

Steve heard music as he cautiously entered his apartment though the window, he grabbed his shield for protection but he found Fury sitting on his couch in the dark. The captain sighed before he went to the front door to let Natasha in.

"It's Fury." He told her as they walked into the living room to see the director.

"I don't remember giving you a key." Natasha noted.

"You really think I'd need one? My wife kicked me out." Fury replied.

"Didn't know you were married." Steve said as he moved toward the light switch.

"There are a lot of things you don't about me."

"I know, Nick. That's the problem." The captain coldly shot back to let the man knew that he still mad about everything that happen today.

As Steve turned on the light, Natasha and Steve noticed Fury's injuries for the first time, but Fury indicated for them to be silent, he turned off the light and wrote something on his phone and showed it to the couple; ' _ears everywhere_ '. Natasha became on high alert and looked around the apartment while Steve held on to his shield tighter and moved closer to Natasha.

"I'm sorry to have do this, but I had no place else to crash." The director continued as he wrote another text and showed it to them; ' _SHIELD compromised_ '

"Who else knows about your wife?" Nat asked.

Fury shows him another text; ' _You and me_ ', "Just...my friends."

"Is that what we are?" Steve frowned.

"That's up to you."

Suddenly Fury was shot three times from through the window and collapsed, Steve looked out the window for the shooter then he quickly dragged Fury to the next room. Natasha took cover and fired her gun back at the shooter before Steve dragged her back further from the window. Nat called SHIELD agents for help.

"Foxtrot is down, he's unresponsive. I need EMTs"

_"Do you have a twenty on the shooter?"_

Steve noticed the shooter though the window and turned to tell his soulmate, "Tell them I'm in pursuit."

Steve smashed through his window and ran after the assassin. Fury grabbed Natasha's hand and handed her the flash drive.

"Don't...trust anyone." That was his last words before he passed out.

Steve chased the assassin through an office building, smashing through the walls, when he finally caught up with him on the roof, he threw his shield at the assassin, but he caught it with one swift move, then threw it back to Steve and then jumped down the building and disappeared.

* * *

Steve followed the ambulance to the hospital with Fury while Natasha had to handle everything at her apartment. Then Natasha went to the hospital and meets up with Steve, they watched doctors operating on Fury. Her hand slipped into Steve's as she felt him reached out, comforting her in her mind.

"Is he gonna make it?" She asked, voice shaken with fear.

"I don't know." He admitted, didn't bother to lie

"Tell me about the shooter."

He turned to look at her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, "He's fast and strong. He had a metal arm."

He stared at her intensively when he felt her body went rigid when he told her those descriptions. Why was it almost like she met the shooter before? He didn't ask her right away, knowing it wasn't a good time. Just then Agent Maria Hill also joined them.

"Ballistics?" Nat quickly asked but her eyes never left Fury.

"Three slugs. No rifling and completely untraceable."

"Soviet made?"

"Yeah."

Suddenly they watched in shock as Fury's state deteriorates. Nat gripped tight to Steve's arms that her fingernails began to dig in his flesh.

"He's dropping."

"Crash cart coming in." The nurse came in

"Nurse, help me with the gauzes, please. BP is dropping. Defibrillator!"

Steve, Natasha and Hill watched in shock as Fury was flat lining.

"Charge to one hundred."

"Don't do this to me, Nick." Her voice was shaking as she tried to deny the inevitable.

"Stand back! Three, two, one. Clear!" Fury was given a shock with the defibrillator, "Pulse?"

"No pulse."

"Okay. Charge to two hundred, please. Stand back! Three, two, one. Clear!" Fury was given another shock, "Give me epinephrine! Pulse?"

"Negative."

"Don't do this to me, Nick. Don't do this to me." Natasha repeated it again. Steve noticed that she was holding back her tears.

The three watched the doctors as they continued to revive Fury but Fury was still showing as flat lining, Steve turned away as they finally called his time of death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review.


	20. The Run

Natasha and Steve were in a room where Fury's dead body had been laid out, Natasha was looking at Fury's body with tears running down her face. Steve could feel her sadness fill him but he couldn't reach out to her so he just watched her from a far. Hill then joined them.

"We need to take him."

Steve went over to his soulmate, "Natasha"

She didn't respond, instead she tenderly touched Fury's head then turned sharply and walked out, Steve followed her, calling her out in his mind but this time, she was shutting him off. She was hurt.

"Natasha!" He called again and she quickly turned to him.

Steve immediately caught her in his arms. He held her tightly and trying to console her. Natasha buried her face in his chest, seeking comfort from his presence.

"Fury's dead." She whispered. He could see that she was trying to accept that fact.

She might not express much feeling to anyone except him but he could sense that she had a hell of a lot of respect for the director. Steve didn't know what to say so he only rubbed her back, soothing his soulmate while she opened herself up to let him in again. Their little moment was interrupted by Rumlow.

"Captain, they want you back at SHIELD." The agent informed.

"Yeah, give me a second" Steve replied but didn't let go of Natasha.

"They want you now." Rumlow was relentless.

"Okay." The Captain was annoyed and shot Rumlow a deadly glare that made him walk away. Steven turned to Natasha, looking right into her eyes, "Everything will be okay, alright, sweetheart?" He softly rubbed her arms.

"Don't sweetheart me." She hissed.

"I will be back soon, Tasha." He smiled and kissed her forehead, "We will be alright."

Natasha chuckled, "You're a terrible liar." Her smile quickly faded, "Don't trust anyone. SHIELD is compromised. Use only your instinct."

"Yes, ma'am."

She turned and walked off. Steve was looking until Nat was out of his sight before he went to Rumlow.

"Let's go."

"Yeah" Rumlow nodded, "STRIKE, move it out."

* * *

Steve headed back to SHIELD where he was brought before Secretary Pierce. Steve had never been on the top floor before.

"Ah, Captain. I'm Alexander Pierce." The old man in front of him introduced himself.

"Sir, it's an honor." Steve shook hand with the Secretary.

"The honor is mine, Captain. My father served in the 101st. Come on in."

They entered Pierce's office where he showed Steve an old photo of Fury with Pierce. The man proceeded to reminisce about his old times with Fury.

"That photo was taken five years after Nick and I met. When I was at State Department in Bogota. ELN rebels took the embassy, and security got me out, but the rebels took hostages. Nick was deputy chief of the SHIELD station there. And he comes to me with a plan. He wants to storm the building through the sewers. I said, "No, we'll negotiate." Turned out the ELN didn't negotiate, so they put out a kill order. They stormed the basement, and what did they find? They find it empty. Nick had ignored my direct order and carried out an unauthorized military operation on foreign soil. He saved the lives of a dozen political officers, including my daughter."

"So you gave him a promotion."

"I've never had any cause to regret it." Pierce replied, "Captain, why was Nick in your soulmate's apartment last night?"

"I don't know." Steve tried to lie with the most straight face he could muster.

"You know it was bugged?"

"I did, because Nick told me."

"Did he tell you he was the one who bugged it?"

Steve didn't reply, obviously not knowing this information.

"I want you to see something." Pierce brought up footage of Batroc being interrogated by a SHIELD agent.

"Is that live?" Steve asked

"Yeah, they picked him up last night in a not-so-safe house in Algiers."

"Are you saying he's a suspect? Assassination isn't Batroc's line."

"No, it's more complicated than that. Batroc was hired anonymously to attack the Lemurian Star and he was contacted by e-mail and paid by wire transfer. And then the money was run through seventeen fictitious accounts, the last one going to a holding company that was registered to a Jacob Veech."

"Am I supposed to know who that is?"

Peirce handed Steve the file, "Not likely. Veech died six years ago. His last address was 14-35 Elmhurst Drive. When I first met Nick his mother lived at 14-37."

"Are you saying Fury hired the pirates? Why?"

"Well, the prevailing theory was that the hijacking was a cover for the acquisition and sale of classified intelligence. The sale went sour and that led to Nick's death."

"If you really knew Nick Fury, you know that's not true."

"Why do you think we're talking?" The secretary asked back, "See, I took a seat on the Council not because I wanted to but because Nick asked me to, because we were both realists. We knew that despite all the diplomacy and the handshaking and the rhetoric, that to build a better world sometimes means having to tear the old one down. And that makes enemies. Those people that call you dirty because you got the guts to stick your hands in the mud and try to build something better. And the idea that those people could be happy today, makes me really, really angry."

Pierce could see that Steve was hesitated for a moment so he continued to push, "Captain, you and your soulmate were the last ones to see Nick alive. I don't think that's an accident, and I don't think you do either. So I'm gonna ask again, why was he there?"

Steve silenced for a second and mulling over everything, "He told me not to trust anyone."

"I wonder if that included him."

Steve paused again before replying, "I'm sorry. Those were his last words. Excuse me."

Steve picked up his shield, placed it on his back and started to make his way out of the office.

"Captain." Steve stopped and looked at Pierce "Somebody murdered my friend and I'm gonna find out why. Anyone gets in my way, they're gonna regret it. Anyone."

"Understood."

Steve turned and left and he stepped into the elevator.

"Operations control."

"Confirmed."

Steve was waiting for the elevator to reach the floor but then the elevator stopped and a group of STRIKE team got in with him. Steve gave a small nod to Rumlow. Then the Captain was feeling something is off. Steve looked at the agents in the elevator and noticed one of them was sweating, then the elevator stopped and more agents entered as the elevator doors close, Steve realized he had been surrounded by agents

"Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?"

There was a moment's pause before suddenly one of the agents turned and used an electric rod to give Steve a shock. The others grabbed him and tried to strap his wrists with magnetic cuffs. Steve managed to knock some of them down but one cuff remained then Rumlow used his rod to give Steve a shock. Steve managed to free himself from the magnetic cuff and knocked all the agents down, he turned to Rumlow.

"Woh, big guy. I just want you to know, Cap, this ain't personal."

Rumlow then went to attack Steve with his electric rod but Steve managed to defend himself and eventually knocked Rumlow out. Steve picked up his shield then opened the elevator doors, but he was faced by a team of STRIKE agents pointing their weapons at him. Steve used his shield to breaks off the elevator wires which sent the elevator down, as he forced the doors open he saw more STRIKE agents approaching him, he closed the door and looked for a way out.

"Give it up, Rogers! Get that door open! You have nowhere to go!"

Steve broke through the glass in the elevator and he recalled the memories of him and Natasha together. It made him smile but then it faltered when plummeted down to finally hit the ground floor. From his monitor Sitwell watched in shock as Steve got up and started running off. Steve rode out of the SHIELD garage on his motorcycle, evading the obstacles laid out but then a Quinjet emerged ahead of him.

"Stand down, Captain Rogers. Stand down." the Quinjet lowered its machine gun, "Repeat, stand down."

As Steve didn't stop, they started shooting at him. Steve threw his shield into the propellers to jam it, giving him an opportunity to hop onto it and do more damage to the jet with his shield before jumping off as the jet went crashing down and he escaped.

* * *

Disguised as a civilian dressed in a hoody, Steve went back to the hospital to meet with Natasha but he couldn't find her. He was began to worry and then Natasha appeared behind him chewing some gum. Steve turned to her with a relief on his face and then pushed her into a room nearby so no one noticed them.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She replied, "What is it?"

"SHIELD was trying to arrest me." Steve explained, "Pierce tried to capture me but I managed to escape. He wants something that Fury might accidentally give us and it let me to believe that it was that USB drive." He sighed,"Where is it?"

"Safe."

"Soulmate…"

"Do you know why Fury gave it to us?" Natasha asked as she revealed the USB drive in her hand.

"What's on it?"

"I don't know."

"Soulmate…" He growled in warning. His eyes burned like a raging ocean.

"I only act like I know everything, Rogers."

"I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn't you?"

"Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, and so do you."

"I'm not gonna ask you again." He tightened his hold on her arms.

"I know who killed Fury." She stated and looking into his eyes, "Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years."

"So he's a ghost story."

"Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran, somebody shot at my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him straight through me." She pulled up her shirt to show him the bullet wound on the side of her stomach, "A Soviet slag, no rifling. Bye-bye bikinis."

He smirked, "Yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now."

There was a hint of a smile from Natasha as she continued with her story, "Going after him is a dead end. I know, I've tried. Like you said, he's a ghost story."

Steve took the flash drive from her, "Well, let's find out what the ghost wants."

* * *

Now that they knew the whole country was looking for them. Natasha couldn't use her car or go back to their apartment for supplies so they walked to the nearest mall to find new clothes and supplies for their runaway.

Natasha managed to get them passed all the surveillance and finally she pushed him inside the fitting room with huge amount of clothes for them to try. The staff insisted that there was enough separated room for them but Nat said that they were soulmate so the staff left them alone.

"Is this necessary?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, we have to disguise and blend in." She replied and began to pull Steve's shirt off, "Try this."

She put the t-shirt over his head and rolled the sleeve down his bulked arms. She couldn't resist squeezed his biceps.

"Hey…" He warned

"Sorry, it just…so squeezable."

He sarcastically laughed, "Funny."

Natasha ignored him and put a baseball cap on his head, "That will do." Then she handed him a blue hoodie and a brown jacket, "Put that on and wait for me outside."

Steve did wait for his soulmate and then she popped out of the fitting room in her new outfits before pulling her hood up to cover her fiery red hair. She paid for everything in case and dragged him out of the store.

"First rule of going on the run is, don't run, walk."

"If I run in these shoes, they're gonna fall off."

They went to a Mac store to use one of their computers. Steve nervously looked around the store while Natasha was doing her thing on the computer.

"The drive has a level six homing program, so as soon as we boot up SHIELD will know exactly where we are."

"How much time do we have?"

"Uh...about nine minutes from..." She popped the flash drive into a MacBook Pro, "Now" Natasha began to work her way with the computer, "Fury was right about that ship, somebody's trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of AI, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands."

"Can you override it?"

"The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly."

Outside of the mall, Rumlow and his team pulled up and headed inside while Steve and Natasha continued to try and find out what was on the flash drive.

"I'm gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can't read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from."

"Can I help you guys with anything?" Someone snuck up on them and Steve turned to the guy, pivoting himself in front of Natasha but she just wrapping her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations."

Steve smiled shyly to play along with her, "Right! We're getting married."

"Congratulations. Where do you guys thinking about going?"

Steve looks at the monitor and sees the signal traced to somewhere in New Jersey, "New Jersey."

"Oh." The apple employee said. The employee looks at Steve for a moment. Steve became on high alert, worried that he might recognize them, "I have the exact same glasses."

"Wow, you two are practically twins." Natasha sarcastically replied as she typed on the computer.

"Yeah, I wish. Specimen. Uh...if you guys need anything, I've been Aaron."

"Thank you." Steve nodded and turned back to his ' _fianc_ _é_ '.

Natasha was working her way around the defense system. Steve was getting relentless on this.

"You said nine minutes, come on."

"Shh, relax. Got it."

They finally found the signal is coming from Wheaton, NJ. Steve stared at the screen.

"You know it?"

"I used to. Let's go."

Steve pulled the flash drive from the computer and they walked out of the store. Steve noticed the SHIELD agent.

"Standard tac-team. Two behind, to across, two coming straight at us. If they make us, I'll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro." Steve said. Two agents were coming straight towards them.

"Shut up and put your arm around me, laugh at something I said."

"What?"

"Do it!"

Steve quickly put his arm around Natasha and laughed and it was working. Steve was amazed by her method. They headed down the escalator Natasha spotted Rumlow on the escalator next to them going up, she turned to Steve.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable."

"Yes, they do."

She quickly pulled down Steve's head and kissed him making Rumlow look away as he went past them on the escalator. But the kiss wasn't stop there as Steve pulling her in his arms and deepened the kiss. She broke off and panted a little. Natasha noticed how red his face was.

"You still uncomfortable?"

"It's not exactly the word I would use, darling."

* * *

They drove to New Jersey together in the car that Steve ' _borrowed_ '. Natasha didn't stop teasing him about it. The two pulled up to outside an abandoned military base where the signal led them to.

"This is it?"

"The file came from these coordinates."

"So did I"

They walked around the base trying to pinpoint where the signal came from.

"This camp is where I was trained."

"Changed much?"

"A little."

Steve looked around and tried to reminisce the good old days when he was just that tiny guy. Then Steve had a brief visions of his former, smaller self, running past him as he's getting trained with other soldiers.

_'Pick up the pace, ladies! Let's go! Let's go! Double time! Come on Rogers, move it!_ _'_

His former self stopped and stared at Steve as he was now. A fond smile appeared on Steve's face.

_"Come on! Fall in! Rogers! I said fall in!_ _'_

Present Steve watched nostalgically as the former Steve ran off. His mind was somewhere else until Natasha appeared next to him and gently shook his arm to wake him up from his hallucination.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked, "I saw the vision."

"Yeah, I'm okay. That was my former self."

Natasha smiled fondly and kissed his cheek. They walked around the area and tried to locate the signal.

"This is a dead end. Zero heat signature, zero waves, not even radio. Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off."

Steve looked around the area until he noticed a building ahead of them. He walked over to the building with Natasha followed behind.

"Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards from the barracks. This building is in the wrong place."

Steve opened the lock with his shield and they entered inside, when they turned on the lights, they noticed it was a SHIELD office.

"This is SHIELD."

"Maybe where it started."

They entered a room where they found old framed portraits of Howard Stark, Peggy and Col. Chester Phillips. Grief briefly flashed in his eyes and Natasha was there to comfort him. Steve smiled at her and turns away from the framed portraits to walk further down the room and stopped by a massive book shelf.

"If you already working in a secret office..." he pushes the bookshelf and slides open to reveal an elevator behind it, "Why do you need to hide the elevator?"

Natasha figured out the secret code and they go down the elevator which takes them to a room with old looking computers.

"This can't be the data-point, this technology is ancient."

Suddenly, Natasha noticed a small flash drive port. She placed the flash drive in it which then activated the ancient computer in the room.

"Initiate system?" The computer asked.

Natasha typed using the keyboard, "Y-E-S, spells yes." Natasha smiled as the old computer started to crank up and she turned to Steve, "Shall we play a game?" But she got no response from him, "It's from a movie that..."

"Yeah, you made me watch it."

Suddenly they heard an accented voice speaking.

"Rogers, Steven. Born, 1918. Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984." An old camera moving above them as it analyzed them.

"It's some kind of a recording."

"I am not a recording, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am." The computer screen showed an old photo of Dr. Arnim Zola

"Do you know this thing?" Natasha asked.

Steve frowned, "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years."

"First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive." Zola interrupted, "In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain."

"How did you get here?"

"Invited." Zola replied.

"It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic values." Natasha explained.

"They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own."

"HYDRA died with the Red Skull." Steve shot back.

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place."

"Prove it." Steve challenged.

"Accessing archive." The computer screen showed them old footage of Johann Schmidt/Red Skull, of the how the original SHIELD founders, "HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed."

"That's impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you." Natasha argued.

"Accidents will happen." The computer screen showed them HYDRA had killed Howard and Maria Stark making it look like a car accident along with the recent death of Fury and Peggy Carter, "HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum."

Natasha turned to Steve and saw grief turned into rage. Rage turned into vengeance. Oh, she knew that look. He was about to do something stupid.

"Steve!" She was trying to stop him.

In anger, Steve suddenly smashed the computer screen but Zola appeared in another scene. Natasha grabbed his hand, trying to calm Steve down because she knew Zola was trying to get inside their heads.

"As I was saying..."

"What's on this drive?" Steve asked.

"Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm."

"What kind of algorithm? What does it do?"

"The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it."

Suddenly the doors started to close, Steve tried to stop it by throwing his shield in between it but he was too late. He turned to Natasha with a flash of horror in his eyes.

"Steve, I got a bogey. Short-range ballistic. Thirty seconds, tops."

"Who fired it?"

"SHIELD"

"I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain."

Natasha quickly took the flash drive out of the port.

"Admit it, it's better this way. We're both of us...out of time."

Steve noticed a small opening on the ground. He threw the metal door aside and just as the place exploded, he threw himself and Natasha into the hole and protected them with his shield. Debris kept falling on top of them but Steve never let go of his soulmate.

* * *

When it all stopped, Steve saw only darkness. At first he thought he might be dead but then he started to feel the weight on him. He felt a warm body in his arms. He tried to move and got the debris off of them. He used all the force he had to push the last debris out of the way and he finally saw some light.

He turned back to see unconscious Natasha. Steve suddenly felt all the fear at the thought that she might be dead. He gathered her up in his arms and felt she was breathing lightly against his neck.

"Stay with me, Nat. Don't leave me." He said, "You're safe now. I will get us out of here."

He carried her out of the wreckage when he saw the quinjet flying above him. He ran, not looking back at all. The Captain headed into the woods nearby, not resting until he was sure that no one was following them. He ran as fast as he could, only concerning for Natasha's safety.

When he finally reached a quiet gas station, he snuck them inside the restroom and put the 'Out of Order' sign in front of the door. It was surprisingly clean so he sat Natasha down and took of his jacket before draping it on her.

"Soulmate, wake up." He said, "Natasha, please wake up." His word turned into a plea as he gently held her hand up and kissed it.

But she didn't reply anything or even open her eyes.

"родственную душу, пожалуйста, проснуться. Давай. Мне нужно видеть ваши глаза снова." Steve plead in Russian, hoping she will hear him, "Дорогая, пожалуйста."

He held her in his arms, hoping that she would wake up soon. Constant pleas were falling from his lips. Finally, he felt her fingers tighten around his hand. Steve looked down at her face and saw her beautiful green eyes looking back at him. She was disoriented at first but when she saw him, she smiled.

"Steve…" She called and tried to move.

"Don't move yet." He said and stilled her, "You're injured."

"How long have I been out?"

"Three hours."

"How do we get here?"

"I carried you all the way from the Camp."

That sounded like her Steve. Natasha thought to herself. Steve helped her to stand up and they slightly washed themselves up. They snuck out and made sure that no one saw them. Steve stole another car before they were heading back to DC.

Natasha slept all the way because of the pain still rang inside her head while Steve drove in silence and followed the route that Natasha made for him in the navigator. He woke her again when they arrived in DC. Natasha told them she had a friend from SHIELD that they could trust.

"Tell me more about him."

"He was once a SHIELD agent but he is working at the veteran center now. He was also briefly working with Stark and Banner on some science project and a combat suit."

"I take that he's a tech geek like Tony."

"Yeah, he's a genius. Passed all the SHIELD tests at the highest score and then joined SHIELD special team. He was a pararescue."

"Sounds like an interesting guy."

"Yes, he is."

Nat led him to her friend's house. She knocked on the window and a moment later, a tall black man appeared. He looked confused when he saw the two of them outside his window.

"Hey, girl." The man greeted.

"I'm sorry about this, Sam. We need a place to lay low." Natasha told her friend.

"Widow, is that Captain America?" Sam seemed to get a very different point.

"Yeah." Nat nodded, "Please, Sam. Everyone we know is trying to kill us."

Sam paused a moment before replying, "Not everyone."

Sam let them in and helped them settled down in his guest bedroom. He also found them some new clothes and asked Natasha that she didn't mind wearing his sister's clothes. Steve let Nat take a shower first while he was talking to Sam and getting acquainted with him. Later as Steve and Natasha were both cleaning up and back in their room, Steve noticed Natasha looking sad and thoughtful.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Soulmate, you know we can't lie to each other." He smiled fondly at him and sat down opposite of her, "What's going on?"

"When I first joined SHIELD, I thought it was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the Red Room for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but...I guess I can't tell the difference anymore."

"There's a chance you might be in the wrong business." He used the same sentence she once teased him.

Natasha smiles faintly, "I owe you."

"It's okay." He brushed it off, "I love you."

"If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?" She once asked him this question and she will ask him again. She needed to hear it in the time that she was weary like this.

"I always do."


	21. The Path Was Crossed

It wasn't an easy night for both of them. Natasha was still injured even though Steve took care of her wound and Sam gave her medicine to stop the pain. Steve held her gently in his arms but he couldn't bring himself to sleep. He was afraid that HYDRA might find them and hurt her again.

Zola's taunt kept ringing inside his head. His sacrifice was a zero sum. He crashed down that plane for nothing. Bucky died for nothing. The price he paid the first time he stopped HYDRA wasn't enough to ensure the freedom of his country.

Maybe the price he had to pay was his life in exchange for the eradication of HYDRA.

"You cannot die..." A sleepy voice sounded as Steve looked down to find Natasha starting to stir, "Because if you die, I will follow you."

"It was just a mere thought, darling." He ensured. His lips pressed on the top of her head, "I won't leave you."

"Don't ever think about it." She gripped tight to his shirt, "You stick with me forever."

"I'm the luckiest man." Steve kissed her deeply.

But then a loud cough interrupter their heated kiss. They broke away but Natasha wouldn't get up from Steve's body. Natasha clung tight to her soulmate.

Sam was standing in the door, "I made breakfast. If you guys...eat that sort of thing."

The couple washed themselves up and met Sam in the kitchen for a wonderful breakfast from the host. After the meal, Natasha and Steve got right back into business and planned their next moves.

"We can't contact the Avengers." Steve spoke up, "We have to do this on our own."

"So, the question is: who in SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike?"

Steve thought for a moment, "Pierce."

"Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world."

"But he's not working alone, Zola's algorithm was on the Lemurian Star."

"So was Jasper Sitwell."

"So, the real question is: how do the two most wanted people in Washington kidnap a SHIELD officer in broad daylight?"

Sam was listening to the two superheroes discuss things. Even though he wasn't with SHIELD anymore, he still loved the adventure and Natasha was his friend so he would love to help her. Not to mention, Captain America was in his home and was in need of help.

"The answer is: you don't." Sam spoke up and dropped a file in front of the couple.

"What's this?"

"Call it a resume."

Natasha picked up a photo of Sam with his pararescue team, "Is this Bakhmala? The Khalid Khan Dil mission…that was you?" Then she turned to Steve, "You didn't say you were a pararescue."

"I thought you knew him."

"I knew that he was on a research team and making a battle suit with Stark." Natasha explained. Steve narrowed his eyes at her, "Everyone has their secrets, Steve."

Steve looked at the photo of Sam with his colleague _, "_ Is this Riley?"

"Yeah."

"I heard they couldn't bring in the choppers because of the RPGs. What did you use, a stealth chute?"

"No. These." Sam corrected as he handed Steve the file.

Steve opened it and read it, "I thought you said you're a pilot."

Sam chuckled, "I never said a pilot."

"I can't ask you to do this, Sam. You got out for a good reason."

"Dude, Captain America and Black Widow need my help. There's no better reason to get back in." Sam explained.

"Where can we get our hands on one of these things?" Steve asked.

"The last one is at Fort Meade, behind three guarded gates and a twelve-inch steel wall."

Steve looked at Natasha who shrugged her shoulders. He couldn't resist her smile.  _That's my girl_ , he thought proudly.

"Shouldn't be a problem."

* * *

Natasha was able to track Jasper Sitwell down and they discussed the plan again. Sam will be the one who approach the agent. Natasha and Steve spent a good thirty minutes arguing over who got to hold the laser pointer. Natasha won at the end because she was a sniper and Steve should be in the car that picked Sam and Sitwell up in case the agent was trying something.

Sitwell was having a meeting with Senator Stern at a hotel. They were walking out of the building now and discussing something that Natasha could partially read his lips through the scope of her sniper rifle but there was something that she could read it clearly.

"Hail, HYDRA."

 _Stern was a member of HYDRA?_  She thought to herself.  _That's explain why he was so eager to have the Iron Man suit._

They ended the discussion as Stern walked away with his bodyguard. Now the plan began. Sitwell got a call from Pierce. He turned to his men and told them to leave before answering the phone.

"Yes, sir."

"Agent Sitwell, how was lunch? I hear the crab cakes here are delicious."

"Who is this?"

"The good looking guy in the sunglasses, your ten o'clock." Sitwell looked around but didn't see him, "Your other ten o'clock."

The agent turned the other way and saw Sam sitting a few feet away from him.

"There you go."

"What do you want?"

"You're gonna go around the corner, to your right. There's a grey car, two spaces down. You and I are gonna take a ride."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because that tie looks really expensive, and I'd hate to mess it up."

Sitwell looked down at his tie and saw a small red light from the gun being pointed at him. He could do nothing but complied with the strange man's demand.

* * *

Steve threw Sitwell across a rooftop. Natasha followed behind him.

"Tell me about Zola's algorithm." The Captain demanded.

"Never heard of it."

"What were you doing on the Lemurian Star?"

"I was throwing up, I get seasick."

Steve forced Sitwell to the edge of the rooftop. The agent was about to fall off the roof but Steve grabbed his suit jacket just in time. Sitwell smiled.

"Is this little display meant to insinuate that you can throw me off the roof? Cause it's really not your style, Rogers."

"You're right. It's not." Steve said and let go of the agent, "It's hers."

Steve stepped aside and Natasha kicked Sitwell off the roof. He plummeted down screaming. Steve turned to Natasha with a 'that's my girl' smile on his face. Suddenly, Sam, in his Falcon jet-pack suit with wings, flew up holding Sitwell and threw him down on the roof. Steve and Natasha, putting on their scary faces once again, walked towards Sitwell who held his hands up in fear.

"Zola's algorithm is a program...for choosing Insight's targets!"

"What targets?" Steve asked, stepped a little closer to threaten the agent.

"You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defense, a high school valedictorian in Iowa City. Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who's a threat to HYDRA! Now, or in the future."

"The Future? How could it know?"

 _Sitwell laughed, "_ How could it not? The 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught HYDRA how to read it."  _Steve and Natasha looked at him in confusion_  so the agent explained more, "Your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, e-mails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores. Zola's algorithm evaluates peoples' past to predict their future."

"And what then?" Steve prompted.

"Oh, my God. Pierce is gonna kill me."

"What then?!" Steve bellowed

"Then the Insight Helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few millions at a time."

"Then why did you have to murder her?! Why did you have to kill Peggy Carter?! She wasn't a threat anymore!"

The emotion quickly shifted and a surge of angriness filled the two soulmates. Natasha was overwhelmed by Steve's raging vengeance. It influenced her too but someone had to be in the better side of the emotion.

"Steve…" She warned him, placing her hand on his arm.

"Everyone who was a threat to HYDRA must be eliminated." Sitwell replied, "She was a former director, holding great amounts of secret in her hands."

"She had Alzheimer! She can't even remember me sometimes."

"A threat is a threat, captain." Sitwell replied calmly, knowing that he pushed the right button, "You shouldn't reveal your weakness too."

* * *

Sam drove them to Triskelion. Steve was sitting in the front seat while Nat kept her eyes on Sitwell. She still felt the anger radiated from Steve but she couldn't do anything. At least he listened to her in his mind.

"HYDRA doesn't like leaks." Sitwell groaned.

"So why don't you try sticking a cork in it."

"Insight's launching in sixteen hours, we're cutting it a little bit close here."

"I know. We'll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the Helicarriers directly."

"What?! Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea."

Suddenly, the Winter Soldier landed on the car roof, pulled Sitwell out through the window and threw him into the oncoming traffic, killing him. Everybody was startled for a moment and no one could react quickly enough. The Winter Soldier then started shooting at them. Natasha calculated his move and she jumped onto Steve's laps, pulling his head down and kicking Sam out of the bullet direction too.

Steve pulled the handbrake, making the Winter Soldier drop down onto the street as another car smashed into the trio's car and pushed them along. The Winter Soldier jumped back onto their car, smashed through the windscreen and pulled out the steering wheel.

Natasha started shooting at him but the Winter Soldier jumped onto the vehicle behind them, as the trio's car was being pulled off the road. Steve held on to the car door. He broke open the door, holding onto Natasha and Sam. They slid on the car door through the streets.

The Winter Soldier was joined by HYDRA agents and they started shooting at them. The trio scattered and ran off in different directions. The Winter Soldier shot a grenade at Natasha but Steve pushed her away and raised his shield to protect himself but the impact sent him flying down to the street below the highway.

Natasha winced as she felt Steve's pain. The Winter Soldier then targeted Natasha. She managed to run away and shot him in his eye mask and ran off.

"( _She's mine. Go find him._ )" He ordered the HYDRA agents.

The Winter Soldier went in pursuit of Natasha as the Hydra agents went after Steve and Sam who both manage to fend them off as they shot at them Steve then noticed the Winter Soldier in pursuit of Natasha.

"Go, I got this!"

The Winter Soldier thought he found Natasha hiding behind a car as he could hear her voice.

_"Civilians threatened. I make an LZ, twenty-three hundred block at Virginia Avenue. Rendezvous two minutes."_

He rolled a bomb towards where he thought she was hiding. As the bomb rolled behind the car, Natasha wasn't actually there but a recording over her voice was being played back on a phone. The bomb exploded. Natasha jumped onto the Winter Soldiers' back and tried to kill him but he threw her off. She started running off as he went after her.

"Get out of the way! Stay out of the way!"

BLAM!

She got shot in the shoulder. She fell and looked around her as the Winter Soldier came up from behind to shoot her. Fear flashed in her eyes and her first thought was her soulmate. Steve jumped in before the Winter Soldier made the shot and attacked him. They fought hard and in the process the Winter Soldier took Steve's shield and threw it at him but Steve managed to avoid being hit.

The fight was particularly hard for Steve. He felt Natasha's pain, her confusion and it made him easily lose focus on the fight. The Winter Soldier was as strong as him, as fast as him and the metal arm could cause a lot of damage with every impact on his body.

After battling it out more the Winter Soldier's mask comes off, as he looked around at Steve. The captain learned the true identity of the Winter Soldier; Bucky Barnes, his best friend.

Many emotion flooded Steve again. Flash of his old memories came alive before his eyes.

"Bucky?" Steve called out.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

Bucky went to shoot at Steve. Sam flew in and kicked Bucky aside. Bucky looked directly at the captain before pointing a gun at him. The assassin was hesitated for a moment before he took the shot. Natasha shot a grenade at the Winter Soldier before he could shoot Steve.

The bomb exploded and the Winter Soldier was gone with the smoke and fire. The trio hear sirens after which they are surrounded by HYDRA agents being led by Rumlow.

"Drop the shield, Captain! On your knees! Get on your knees! Now! Get down! Get down" Rumlow and some other agents shout at the same time, "Get on your knees! Down!

Steve held his hands up. Rumlow kicked Steve's leg and the Captain knelt down before Rumlow cuffing Steve's wrist. Rumlow looked at the helicopter flying above them and warned the agent holding Steve at gunpoint.

"Put the gun down. Not here. Not here!"

The agent lowered his gun then took Steve, Sam, and Natasha into custody

* * *

The trio had been escorted by a van. Natasha and Sam were handcuffed with a normal hand cuff while Steve was confined to huge steel shackles. It was a long silence until Steve spoke what had been eating him up.

"It was him. He looked right at me and he didn't even know me."

"How's that even possible? It was like seventy years ago."

"Zola. Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on 'em. Whatever he did, it helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him."

"None of that's your fault, Steve."

"Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky."

The pain doubled for Natasha as her soulmate spiraled down in his guilt. Sam noticed Natasha was bleeding from her shoulder and looked at the guards

"We need to get a doctor here. We don't put pressure on that wound she's gonna bleed out here in the truck."

Suddenly, one of the guards pulls out an electric rod and neutralizes the other guard and knocks him out, the guard is revealed to be Hill as she takes off her helmet

"That thing was squeezing my brain."

Sam looks at her in confusion and Maria noticed another guy she didn't know and turned to Steve.

"Who's this guy?"

"A friend. He's helping us back in DC. You can trust him." Steve vouched for Sam.

"He was in the Falcon project with SHIELD before."

"That's great but I think we better get going now."

* * *

Hill helped them escaped by the device called 'Mouse Hole'. It was designed by Agent Fitz. Hill took the trio to a secret facility, a man ran towards them. He was a doctor.

"GSW. She's lost at least a pint." Hill told the doctor

"Maybe two." Sam added.

"Let me take her!"

"She'll wants to see him first."

Hill took them to Fury who was alive and lying in bed. The trio look at him in shock.

"About damn time." Fury said.

"You guys looking like shit!" A remark came from behind the three as Steve turned to see his Avengers teammates.

Steve never thought he would be happy to see his friends in this dark time. Natasha's wound were being treat while Fury began to break everything to Steve and Natasha.

"Lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, and one hell of a headache."

"Don't forget your collapsed lung." The doctor spoke up.

"Oh, let's not forget that. Otherwise, I'm good."

"They cut you open, your heart stopped." Natasha said.

"Tetrodotoxin B. Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress. Didn't work so great for him, but we found a use for it." Fury explained.

"Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?" Steve asked.

"Any attempt on the director's life had to look successful." Maria added

"Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust."

* * *

The Avengers, Sam, Fury, and Maria were discussing the plan of attack on HYDRA. They were arguing about the method of getting there without being notice. There were arguing pretty hard about this.

"We cannot get in there at the same time! We need to divide and conquer, Stark!" Natasha said.

"But we have the element of surprise!" Tony replied, "If we all attack at one place at the same time, we could draw all the attention so some of us could sneak around."

"It's only gonna spook them." Steve chipped in, "We should discreetly infiltrate the facility."

"After all of this, what you want us to do with Pierce?" Steve asked Fury who sat in silence, looking at the photo of someone.

"This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said, "Peace wasn't an achievement, it was a responsibility." See, it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues."

"We have to stop the launch."

"I don't think the Council's accepting my calls anymore."

Fury opened a case containing three chips.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"Once the Helicarriers reach three thousand feet, they'll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponized." Maria explained.

"We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own." Fury added.

"One or two won't cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even one of those ships remains operational a whole lot of people are gonna die."

"We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. We need to get past them, insert the server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what's left..."

"We're not salvaging anything. We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we're taking down SHIELD." Steve spoke up frankly.

"SHIELD had nothing to do with it." Nick said.

"You gave me this mission, this is how it ends. SHIELD's been compromised, you've said so yourself. HYDRA was right under your nose and nobody noticed."

"Why do you think we're meeting in this cave? I noticed."

"And how many paid the price before you did?"

Fury suddenly looked uncomfortable, "Look, I didn't know about Barnes."

"Even if you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? SHIELD, HYDRA, it all goes." Steve was adamant about this and Fury saw no way around to convince the Captain otherwise.

"He's right." Hill agreed.

Fury looked at Natasha who just sat back and held her gaze at him. The former director got his answer and then turned to Sam.

"Don't look at me. I do what he does, just slower."

"What about the rest of you?"

"We have to take HYDRA down." Tony said.

"The Avengers are with Captain America." Thor added.

Fury sighed in defeat, "Well... Looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain."

* * *

Everyone had begun to take some rest to get ready for the big day. But someone was still restless as millions of thoughts ran through his mind. Steve stood on a bridge and had a flashback to the time he spent with Bucky after Steve's mother's funeral.

Bucky was walking him home and told him that he should move with the Barnes but Steve was stubborn and insisted that he could live on his own.

_"I'm with you till the end of the line, pal."_

The sentence rang in his head and made him feel even worse, regretting everything he could have done to find Bucky after the fall.

"That's not your fault, Steve." A calm voice came from his left, "No one would have thought that Barnes would survive that fall."

Steve turned to see his soulmate walking toward him with Sam Wilson by her side. Since the Winter Soldier attacked them, everyone was always with someone, just in case.

"I can't bring myself to think that way, soulmate." Steve replied with a sad smile on his face.

Natasha stepped closer and kissed him on the lips to cheer him up, "Are you ready for tomorrow?'

"I was born ready."

"He's gonna be there, you know?" Sam said.

"I know." Steve admitted.

"Look, whoever he used to be, the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."

"I don't know if I could do that."

"Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn't know you."

"He will." Steve repeated, "Gear up, it's time."

Steve turned and started to walk off with Natasha.

"You gonna wear that?"

"No. If you're gonna fight a war, you gotta wear a uniform."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> \- Don't forget about this, Romanogers shipper! We will have a Romanogers Appreciation month on Tumblr. It will begin on 9 Feb-28 Feb (Can follow the event on my blog capsicleandlittlered or search 'romanogers appreciation month' tags)
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review. Please Please Please


	22. The Trap

At the Triskelion, where the Helicarriers were being held, everyone in the building was buzzing around because today was the big. It was the day SHIELD would launch the Insight Helicarriers.

The command center was setting up the launch sequence. All personnel were heading to their launch stations. Pierce met the World Security Council as they arrived at the Triskelion.

"And how was your flight?" Pierce asked.

"Lovely. The ride from the airport less so." Councilwoman Hawley replied.

"Sadly, SHIELD can't control everything."

"Including Captain America." Councilman Rockwell chipped in.

Pierce walked over to one of the guards who handed him a case containing four pins.

"This facility is biometrically controlled, and these will give you unrestricted access."

The council members each take a pin to wear before they headed to the council chamber to witness the launch sequence.

"I know the road hasn't exactly been smooth, and some of you would have gladly kicked me out of the car along the way. Finally we're here, and the world should be grateful."

As they start drinking to Pierce's toast suddenly they hear Captain America over the SHIELD microphone that everyone in the building can hear.

"Attention, all SHIELD agents…"

* * *

At the Project Insight headquarters. The technicians were working on the system of the project but then they hear a sharp noise through their earpiece.

"Ow! Must be the dish."

"I'll check it out."

He goes and opens the door he's faced with Steve, Sam and Hill on the other side of the door, Sam and Hill point their guns at him

"Excuse us."

The tech holds his hands up and steps aside to let them enter. Maria was setting up everything for Steve while Sam held his gun at the agents and forced them into the corner.

"Status update." Steve said to his comm.

"Romanoff is in position." Tony said, "Ironman and Hulk are in the position too."

"Hawkeye and Thor are in the position also."

"The system is ours." Maria said.

Steve headed to the microphone, "Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot the Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."

Steve finished his speech and everyone felt the bravery and patriotism surge through them.

"Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?"

* * *

Rumlow and his men broke into the control room, where Agent 13 also was. Rumlow walked over to one of the techs and commanded him to send the ships up.

But the tech guy declined him as it was the Captain's order. Rumlow pointed his gun at the tech's head, prompting Sharon to draw out her gun too. Suddenly all the SHIELD agents draw their weapons and point them at Rumlow and his squad.

"You picked the wrong side, Agent."

"Depends on where you're standing."

Rumlow dropped his gun, but as he did, he grabbed his knife and cut Agent 13's arm, leading to the SHIELD agents firing their guns. Amidst the bullets, Rumlow managed to release the Helicarriers and ran off.

The bay doors holding the Helicarriers were about to be opened. SHIELD agent was trying to close it but the HYDRA agents entered and started shooting and killing the crew and techs; at the headquarters Hill watched on the monitor as the Helicarriers were being initiated.

"They're initiating launch." Hill told the team.

"We're on it." Steve replied before giving the command to his team, "Thor and Clint, you take Alpha. Tony and Bruce take Bravo, Sam and I will deal with the last one."

"Got it, cap."

The flyers took their partner to the designated Helicarrier. Sam and Steve worked their way through their ship but found an army of HYDRA agents headed to them.

"Hey, Cap, how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?"

"If they're shooting at you, they're bad." Steve replied, "You try to find another way around. I will distract them on the ground."

"Got it!"

Sam, in his Falcon suit, flew off and Steve headed down. The HYDRA agents started shooting at them. Sam flew around avoiding getting shot.

"Hey, Cap, I found those bad guys you were talking about."

"You okay?"

Sam flying off as the HYDRA agents continued to shoot the cannon at him.

"Not dead yet." Sam replied.

* * *

"You smug son of a bitch." Councilman Rockwell cursed at the traitor.

The two HYDRA agents entered the room. The councilmen believed they were SHIELD agents.

"Arrest him." Councilman Singh ordered but the HYDRA agent points his gun at Singh, revealing that the whole squad were HYDRA.

"I guess I've got the floor." Pierce said smugly.

Then they heard the helicarriers started to shoot at Captain America and his team. Pierce watched from the window the commotion caused by Steve and team trying to stop the Helicarriers launching, he turned to Singh.

"Let me ask you a question. What if Pakistan marched into Mumbai tomorrow, and you knew that they were gonna drag your daughters into a soccer stadium for execution?" Pierce handed Sing a glass of champagne, "And you could just stop it with a flick of a switch. Would you? Wouldn't you all?"

"Not if it was your switch." Singh tossed the glass aside, one of the HYDRA agents handed Pierce his gun and Pierce pointed it at Singh.

Suddenly, Hawley kicked Singh away then took down the other HYDRA agents in the room before taking the gun and pointing at Pierce. She then removed her disguise to reveal it's Natasha who had a triumphant smirk on her face.

"I'm sorry. Did I step on your moment?"

* * *

 _"_ _Falcon, status?_ _"_  Maria asked

"Engaging."

Sam managed to fly down to the Helicarrier bay taking down the HYDRA jets chasing him.

"Alright, Cap, I'm in."

Just then another HYDRA jet headed his way and started shooting at him.

"Shit!"

"Are you alright, Sam?"

"No!"

"I'm at the South landing bay. Give me the targeting blade."

"Heading your way, Cap!"

Sam flew off and avoid getting hit, meanwhile Steve is fighting off the HYDRA agents until Sam flew passed by and dropped him the blade. Steve headed inside the helicarrier to only find more HYDRA agents in his way.

 _"_ _Eight minutes, Cap._ _"_  Maria reported.

"Working on it."

Steve entered one of the Helicarriers and replaced its targeting blades with one of the chips Fury had provided them and runs out before reporting back to Hill.

"Charlie locked!"

 _"_ _Falcon, where are you now?_ _"_  Maria asked,  _"_ _Shake those jets off. Stark and Banner need you at Bravo._ _"_

"I had to take a detour!" Sam replied, "Ironman, I'm heading to you."

"Copy that."

Hulk was smashing his way on the deck but couldn't get any closer because HYDRA shot him with the Helicarrier canons. Tony was swamped by a group of quinjet at his tail when Sam passed by. Sam was flying towards Bravo Helicarriers when heat-seeking missiles were shot at him by HYDRA so he flew back towards the Helicarrier and managed to get the missiles that were aimed at him to hit the Helicarrier giving him entrance.

"Ironman, where are you?"

"Here!"

Tony landed beside him and replaced the targeting blades.

"Bravo locked." Tony reported as the two flew out.

"Sam, pick me up at Charlie!"

"On my way, cap."

_"_ _Two down, one to go._ _"_

The Avengers met up at Alpha Helicarrier to help Clint and Thor who was still surrounded by HYDRA.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Councilman Rockwell asked Natasha who was on the computer.

"She's disabling security protocols and dumping all the secrets onto the Internet." Pierce told and stepped close to Natasha while the councilman pointed a gun at him the whole time.

"Including HYDRA's."

"And SHIELD's. If you do this, none of your past is gonna remain hidden." Pierce knew about her past and he will use it to lure Natasha but she continued typing into the computer. So he too continued, "Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are?"

Natasha looked up at Pierce with determination in her eyes, not doubting her resolve, "Are you?"

Another loud bombing and explosion sounded from the ground level.

"Disabling the encryption is an executive order, it takes two Alpha Level members." Pierce said.

"Don't worry, company's coming."

Just then a helicopter appeared outside, landed and Fury stepped out to enter the building to Pierce's surprise.

"Did you get my flowers? I'm glad you're here, Nick." The secretary slyly greeted.

Fury looks at him coldly, "Really? Cause I thought you had me killed."  
"You know how the game works." The HYDRA leader shrugged.

"So why make me head of SHIELD?"

"Cause you're the best and the most ruthless person I ever met."

"I did what I did to protect people."

"Our enemies are your enemies, Nick. Disorder, war. It's just a matter of time before a dirty bomb goes off in Moscow, or an EMP fries Chicago. Diplomacy?  _Holding action_ , a band-aid. And you know where I learned that; Bogota. You didn't ask, you just did what had to be done. I can bring order to the lives of seven billion people by sacrificing twenty million. It's the next step, Nick, if you have the courage to take it."

"No, I have the courage not to."

Fury took Pierce to the retinal scanner with Natasha pointing her gun at him.

_"_ _Retinal scanner active._ _"_

"You don't you think we wiped your clearance from the system?" Pierce still tried to find his way out of this.

"I know you erased my password, probably deleted my retinal scan, but if you want to stay ahead of me, Mr. Secretary…" Fury removed his eye patch to reveal his scarred deadeye, "You need to keep both eyes open."

They both looked into the retinal scanner with Fury using his dead eye.

"Alpha Level confirmed. Encryption code accepted. Safeguards removed."

Natasha went back to the computer and upload everything on the internet, "Done." She looks at her mobile device, "And it's trending."

Just then Pierce set off the pins he gave the council members, causing it to burn deeply into their sternum. Natasha and Fury pointed their guns at Pierce but the Secretary waved the phone in his hand at Natasha.

"Unless you want two inch hole in your sternum, I'd put that gun down." But Natasha doesn't back down so Pierce added, "That was armed the moment you pinned it on."

Fury and Natasha reluctantly lowered their weapons. Pierce took the gun from Natasha and pointed. Then someone stepped inside the council chamber.

"Ah! My loyal agent." Pierce said, "May I introduce you…The Winter Soldier."

* * *

 _"Alpha Carrier's forty-five degrees off the port bow."_  Hill told the team _, "Six minutes."_

Steve was trying to get away from the HYDRA agents shooting at him on the Helicarrier. Clint was trying to get to the main system dome to replace the blade but he couldn't reach it. Tony got shot by an EMP and was falling from the sky.

"Someone catch me!" The billionaire shout.

Thor swooped in and caught Tony just in time and put him on the rooftop.

"Stay here, Lord Stark." The god said.

"Tell them I will be back in 10 minutes."

"Of course."

The god flew off to help the rest of the team. Steve just managed to jump off the edge as a HYDRA agent shot a missile at him. Sam was right there to catch him on time and brought him back and this time, it was enough room for them to fly in and help Clint take out the remaining HYDRA agents.

"Took you guys long enough." Clint said.

"Taking a little detour." Sam replied.

"Let's get this thing done we have only 3 minutes left." Steve interrupted and started to walk off, "We can get inside now. Hulk, continue to distract them. Thor, go stay with Tony and meet up with Nat and Fury at the council chamber after Tony can get his suit back online."

_"AYE!" "Got it!"_

The three reached the main system dome, Clint was at the entrance for the look out.

"One minute." Hill sounded from the comm.

Just as Steve was about to insert the blade in. Their com started to fuzz and Peirce's voice came from it.

"Captain Rogers, I suggest you should stop whatever you are doing and let the Insight Carrier do their job."

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, we have your beautiful soulmate with us."

Steve stopped as he felt his heart dropped to his feet. He stopped whatever he was doing and noticed that everyone on the team could hear this too.

"You're bluffing."

"I will give the proof to you….say it, Romanoff." Pierce said and Steve could hear Natasha hissed at her captor, following by a scream of pain.

"STOP IT!" Steve yelled, "Don't hurt her." The captain felt her pain at the back of his head.

"Do it, Steve." Natasha's voice came in, "We have to save the innocent lives."

"No."  
"Don't worry about me." She said as if to calm him down, "You have to do what is right."

Another grunt of pain came through the com, "Okay, enough of the sentiment." Peirce said, "Stand down, Captain Rogers, or she dies"

"Thirty seconds, Cap!" Hill interrupted.

"Your time is running out. Stop now and she will be spared"

"DO IT, STEVE!"

Steve closed his eyes, calculating all the possibility, before he inserted the blade in, "Alpha locked."

"You choose wrong, Captain."

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Steve heard the gunshots at the same time that he was screaming in pain. He felt it burn his torso and this time, blood began to bleed from his skin even he had no wound.

"Cap, are you alright?" Sam knelt down and trying to help with the bleeding but nothing could help.

"NATASHA!" Steve screamed out her name, "No…no..."

Steve was struggling to breath but it only made the pain tripled. When he opened his eyes, the color at the edge of his vision started to turn into black and white and Steve screamed again.

"Cap, get out of there!" Maria shouted through the com as she got the Helicarriers weapon targeted each other.

"Fire now." Steve ordered through his painful breath.

"But, Steve..."

"Do it! Do it now!"

Reluctantly, Hill made the Helicarriers opened fire on each other. Steve still inside the Helicarrier, ordering Sam and Clint to go meet up with the rest of the team and helped Fury and Nat. They too were reluctant but Steve made them.

"There is nothing I can do now." Steve said, "I will follow her."

"What are you talking about?" Clint held on to Steve's hand.  
"I'm starting to lose my color vision. That mean she's dead." Steve replied, "Go now and save the rest of the team. Make sure it all goes down."

"Yes, cap."

They ran off and Sam flew away with Clint to the Triskellion. Steve lied there, preparing for his final moment. He was willing to go down with this ship as he had no reason to live anymore.

Natasha was gone.

The vision turned back to black and white as he closed his eyes. How ironic this was? Steve thought to himself, Last time he fell down with the plane, he had color in his eyes and now it returned to the darkness.

He'd be better dead than to live without Natasha but he will meet her again, after when all of this is over. The afterlife that they may have together or perhaps the next life that they will find each other again.

He didn't fear death because Natasha will wait for him on the other side and he will see color again.

* * *

The last thing Steve felt was that he hit the water. Death wasn't as painful as feeling Natasha's agony. Steve slowly opened his eyes and spat out the water. The pain did stop but he couldn't feel Natasha at all.

_Where was this place?_

He then slowly took in the environment around him. His vision was still flickering back between color and black and white. Then he noticed that he was strapped down and locked in place with a huge shackle.

_He's still alive._

Then he realized that he was in the hangar of a plane. His vision was still blurry and switched back and forth from color to black and white.

"Well, well, look who is waking up." Steve remembered that voice. It was Peirce's.

"YOU?!" The Captain bellowed, "You killed her, you bastard!"

"You didn't do what I said, Captain, and I have to show you that I'm the man of my word."

"You could have spared her!" Steve growled, "You could have let me die."

"No…no…captain. I have a better plan than that." Pierce grabbed the chair and sat down in front of Steve, "You see, since you and your little superhero friends took down my carriers, HYDRA needs a new fist to shape this world and you will be my new dog. Just like him."

Pierce turned Steve's face to the Winter Soldier who standing quietly at the dark corner.

"I will wipe your memory. I will wipe everything from you and write you a new one. You will be loyal to HYDRA and forget everything. You will never know your soulmate. You will never meet her again." The words cut deep in Steve's heart, knowing that he had lost Natasha. "You shall live the darkness."

"No." Steve replied. His eyes were nothing but defiance.

"You will, Captain." Pierce said, "I know that this plan will work if I push the right button."

Pierce pushed the curtain away revealing that Fury was tied up to the chair with Rumlow stood guard. Then his eyes fell on the Iron Man suit.

"Tony!"

"Oh! That's not Stark. We shot him and let him die in the wreck of the Triskelion." Pierce said, "He took the armor off and put something way more important inside."

Pierce motioned for the technician to open the suit. Steve couldn't believe what he saw. The person who was inside the suit was Natasha but she was pale as if she was dead.

"NATASHA!" He called her but there was no response.

"She cannot hear you, captain"

"What did you do to her?!"

"You see, Tony Stark put her in his suit to keep her alive but now her vital sign is falling because I opened the suit. Just say the word, Captain and she will be alright." Pierce said, "You are very hard man to find the right button to push but everyone had their weaknesses and in your case, your lost love and your soul mate."

"Let Natasha go right now."

"No, I will make you yield, I will make you follow every one of my commands, knowing that your soul mate's life is in my hand and I will end her life if you do not kneel in front of me."

"You really underestimate my soul mate. She will survive this and come back for me."

"Oh, only if you help her. Save her life by saying the word. Trading your pride for her, your life for hers."

Steve went quiet but he realized saving Natasha's life was more important than anything else right now. He chose the mission once and it almost killed her. This was his only chance to have her back.

"Say the word, Captain." Pierce cooed, "Hail Hydra."

Steve kept his eyes fix on Natasha but then looked away and admitted defeated, "Hail Hydra."

Maybe it wasn't so bad if she will be alive. She will live and they will have a chance to find each other again. Maybe it wasn't so bad because she will find him and helped him from his darkness.

They will find each other.

Peirce laughed maniacally at Steve's defeated stance, thought that he won this time. He motioned again and the suit was close and Natasha's vital sign was back to normal again. Steve was looking at the suit, trying very hard not to cry at the thought that he might not be himself again, that he might forget her forever.

But it worth it. He will not doubt his resolve again.

_They will find each other again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse
> 
> \- Don't forget about this, Romanogers shipper! We will have a Romanogers Appreciation month on Tumblr. It will begin on 9 Feb-28 Feb (Can follow the event on my blog capsicleandlittlered or search 'romanogers appreciation month' or 'romanogers' tags)
> 
> -Please kindly leave a review. Please Please Please


	23. The Fall

Steve didn't know when he'd passed out. It must have been because he was losing too much blood or he was really tried. It felt like a day had passed but it was just two hours from when he last woke up.

Then he felt like he was being shackled to a chair of a machine. He saw Bucky standing close in case he had to put Steve down.

"Captain, the procedure will begin soon." Pierce said, "At least you don't have to go through a lot of pain like him." He nodded to the Winter Soldier, "You are in one piece, a perfect soldier, HYDRA has no need to alter any part of you…..Just your memory."

"No." Steve began to struggle and Bucky pinned him in place, "You don't have to wipe my memory. I will do what you want me to do just don't wipe my memories."

"You want to remember her, huh? Captain, I don't trust you and I doubt that you will comply so wiping everything will be a lot easier."

Pierce turned to talk to the scientist who oversaw the procedure. Steve turned to Bucky who kept staring at him.

"People are gonna die, Buck. I can't let that happen. We will kill innocent people for HYDRA if you don't help me." The captain said in hope that it will trigger something in Bucky, "Please, don't let them do this."

Steve saw that Bucky wasn't effected by any of his words but he will not lose hope in saving his friend. He will try his best to free his best friend.

"You will feel a little pain, Cap." Rumlow said as he put the safeguard in Steve's mouth, "But I really want to hear you scream like he did."

The machine began to run and the magnetic field pulled Steve back to the seat, grounding his movement. Then a zap of electricity jolted into him, hitting him hard enough that Steve felt like his memory had been ripped off. Of course the Captain struggled, trying to fight and hold on to that memory.

"Don't fight it, Captain. It only makes it worse." Pierce said, "We have a deal or else she will die."

"Or you HYDRA can get your ass kicked." Tony's voice came from the PA system.

The machine stopped as the hatch was blasted open by a repulser beam. Iron man flew in with Thor. The god of thunder charged into the Winter Soldier while Tony was dealing with the memory machine and released Steve from it.

"Man, are you alright?"

"Yeah. Where's my shield?"  
"Somewhere around here"

Tony hadn't noticed that Rumlow was aiming an EMP luncher at him but luckily Sam flew in and kicked Rumlow away from the gun but his wing got shot by a cable gun from the Winter Soldier. Bucky tore the wing off and efficiently grounded the Falcon.

Thor punched the Winter Soldier before he could do any more damage to Sam and continued to battle him. Tony helped Steve up and gave him the comm. Steve located his shield and made his way to it.

"Steve, you have to get to the cockpit and take control of the plane." Hill's voice came through the com, "You have to dismantle the weapon system,"

"I'm on it."

"On you left is my quinjet and on your right, with the cloaking device on, is the Bus, Coulson's plane."

"Yes, ma'am."

"There will be more back up coming your way."

Steve made his way to the cockpit and knocked out the pilot. He knew there will be more of them so he just destroyed the defense system so his back up could board the plane.

"Another team will board the plane now." Coulson said, "You can go back to the hanger now, cap."

Steve looked out the window to find one of Coulson's agents had fired a cable at the cargo plane to establish a way to board this plane. He then headed back to the hanger.

Sam was battling Rumlow but the HYDRA agent managed to knock Sam down.

"This is gonna hurt. There are no prisoners with HYDRA, just order. And order only comes through pain. You ready for yours?"

"Man, shut the hell up."

Sam got up and charged in to fight with Rumlow again. He knew he was going to lose but at least he could stall some time and give his friend whatever time they need. Rumlow punched Sam in the Jaw before he threw him across the hanger that he almost fell from the opened hatch.

"You're out of your depth, kid." Rumlow taunted.

But what Rumlow didn't notice was that the vehicles were let lose by Bobbi Morse who just aboard the plane from the Bus and Clint Barton who just boarded from Hill's quinjet. Sam got up and looked out the plane. Clint, Thor, and Bobbi pushed the cars and it was rolling their way to Sam and Rumlow.

"Please tell me that quinjet is around here."

"Sam, where are you?" Maria asked.

"The hatcher!"

"We're on it, stay where you are."

"Not an option!"

Sam reached the end of the hatcher and jumped off without thinking. Hill just saw him and had to turn the quinjet around to catch Sam midair before flying away, avoided the falling cars.

"That was close." Sam sighed in relief as Trip help him back up on his feet, "We have to get back inside. Our friends still outnumbered."

Back inside SHIELD's cargo carrier, Pierce saw the coming destruction that the Avengers might cause him again if he didn't do anything. He saw the god of Thunder was tearing this plane apart with his hammer. Mockingbird was taking out his men. Ironman was messing up the plane system and had control of it.

"Lieutenant, how much longer?" He asked the pilot.

"We will reach the base in 10 minutes, sir!" The pilot replied, "But we are flying blind. It's gonna be a rough ride."

"Take us there and tell everyone in the base to prepare."

"Yes, sir."

Bobbi finally found the holding cell of Nick Fury and helped the former director out. She insisted that she will take him to the Bus but he refused. He still had shit to handle and that shit was Pierce. They reached the hanger and found the HYDRA leader hiding away from the fight that was going on around him. Fury stepped forward and startled Pierce.

"Secretary Pierce."

"Nick"

"Look what you have done."

"Everything I did was for the greater good." Pierce said, "This world can't be trusted to handle its own freedom."

"What HYDRA did, that isn't freedom."

"We have a very different point of view, Nick."

Fury stepped closer and pointed the gun at his old friend. But Pierce opened the door and threatened to push the Ironman suit out of the plane.

"One more step and you will lose your best agent forever...no...two of your best agents. Because Captain America will follow her."

"You know, there was a time I would have taken a bullet for you."

"You already did. You will again when..."

Fury quickly fired his gun into Pierce's heart but the secretary pulled the Ironman suit that kept Natasha alive into the ocean with him. Steve came back just in time to see her fall into the ocean.

"NATASHA!" Steve shouted and went to follow her into the ocean but got tackled by Bucky.

"Thor, Ironman, Natasha is falling from the plane."

"I'm on it!" Tony replied and flew off the plane.

Steve slid across the floor and started to feel the pain stung underneath his skin and his vision turned back to black and white. He tried to maintain his balance but it was very hard to do so.

"I got Natasha, Cap!" Tony reported over the com as he caught her in time, "I will take her on the bus now. Simmons and Banner are already preparing the surgery room."

"Clear everyone out of this plane, Tony, Thor." Steve ordered, "Agent May, you point the plane down at the ocean."

"But Cap…."

"DO IT! We can't let HYDRA get away."

_"_ _Copy that!_ _" "_ _AYE!_ _"_ _"I'm on it, captain."_

Steve got up as he decided to stay behind to make sure that everyone get off the plane safely and to distract Bucky away from everyone. The Winter Soldier fixed his eyes at him.

"You know me."

 _Bucky lashed out at Steve in anger_ , "No, I don't!"

"Bucky, you've known me your whole life." Bucky hit Steve hard but Steve chose not to fight back.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky hit Steve again, "Shut up!"

Steve dropped his shield out of the plane, "I'm not gonna fight you. You're my friend."

The Winter Soldier pushed Steve to the ground but the Captain didn't fight back or do anything.

"You're my mission." He then mercilessly punched Steve repeatedly across the face, "YOU-ARE-MY-MISSON!"

"Then finish it." Steve said but he could see the hesitation in Bucky's eyes, "Cause I'm with you till the end of the line."

Bucky looked at Steve as if he's starting to remember just then the hole burst opened because of the compression, sending Steve flying out of the plane and falling from the plane into the ocean below as Bucky watched from the hanger.

Steve hit the water hard and sunk into the ocean quickly. He closed his eyes as the darkness succumbed him.

A flash of memories ran into his mind. Her fiery red hair, her beautiful green eyes, her serene face, her warm and loving smile.

Their banter, their laughter, their happiness and joy, the possibility and the future ahead, their hugs and their kisses.

The taste of her lips on his.

_Their kisses._

Maybe no one could find him again just like last time. Maybe he had to spend another 70 years in the ice. But the one thing that Steve did know, Natasha will find him once again, pulling him back from the ice and they could have their happy ending.

His love for her would keep frozen within his heart.

_His only light in the darkness._


	24. The Future

_Maybe it was just a bad dream._

_"_ _Curve ball, high and outside for ball one."_

His long eyelashes waved as he began to stir. He heard a very familiar voice inside the room he was in. The bed he was laying was more soft and warm than he remembered. The last time he slept, he only remembered being surrounded by icy water before everything stopped.

He blinked and slowly opened his eyes. The intense blue orbs showed confusion for mere second until he fully registered of what happening around him.

_"So the Dodgers are tied, 4-4"_

It was all too familiar. It did already happened. The history repeated itself again. Did he lose another 70 years? Was HYDRA gone or they could capture him for real?

_Where's Natasha?_

"I'm here." The familiar calm voice came from his right.

He turned his head to see his soulmate lying in the hospital bed next to him. He too was strapped down on the hospital bed with many life support system attached to him. Natasha was pale like paper and seemed too weak to move. She had as many life support systems as him.

"You scared me, soul mate." He said with a tierd smile on his face but it was a happy one, "Don't do that again, okay? I thought you were dead."

"I miss you." She reached her hand out for him.

Steve interlaced his fingers with hers, "I miss you too, sweetheart."

They smiled at each other, knowing that they were both safe and secure now under the roof of Stark Tower and JARVIS's vigilance.

"I'm sorry for getting you shot."

"It's okay. You have to do it to protect people. I would do the same." She squeezed his hand lightly, "Pierce will shoot me anyway whether you did what he want or not."

"Yes, I know. I still sorry, darling." He said, "I should put my soulmate's safety above all but also the innocent people…."

"So this is you having your first moral conflict and it all because of me" Natasha teased.

"Yeah."

"I should be honored."

They tried not to chuckle or move because the pain was still too much to bare. A moment later everyone in the team burst into the room and greeted them happily. Jarvis must have had notified them.

"You guys wake up!" Clint boomed loudly

"You just lost another 70 years, capsicle." Tony joked.

"But at least you guys still here with me." Steve smiled, "But why you put the Dodgers' game for me again?"

"Natasha bet that you will wake up if you listen to it but I suggested 'Trouble Man' so it became a bet that she won again."

"Again?"

"They made a bet on a lot of things these past few days." Bruce explained, "I will run a check up on both of you again."

"And Lady Natasha keeps winning all the time." Thor chimed in.

"So…who pulled me out of the water?" Steve asked again.

"I don't know." Tony shrugged his shoulders, "I embedded a tracking device on your suit so we knew where to look for you. When we circled back, your were on one of the debris."

"We couldn't find him, Captain." Clint said.

"It must be him."

"We're not sure about this, cap." Sam said, "But it could be him."

Steve turned to Natasha who silently nodded in agreement. She wasn't there but from what everybody told her, it could be Bucky. They continued to discuss about this until Bruce was done with the check up and said that the couple was healing up well.

"You two should get some rest. 1 more week and you guys can get out of here."

* * *

One week later, the couple could move out of the medical ward of Stark Tower to rest on their floor for three more days. After that Steve and Natasha could walk around like their normal selves but somehow, they still got tired easily.

"You might want to just sit around on the couch and doing nothing." Bruce suggested, "It would help you recover faster than this."

But Steve and Natasha were entirely focused on something else, "Why is everyone is buzzing around? Is there anything happen again while we were out?" Steve asked.

Bruce was reluctant to tell them but Natasha's piercing eyes made him do it, "Well, since the fall of SHIELD and HYDRA secret came to life. The US government set up the investigation committee for this." Bruce explained, "They had been trying to arrest us for a week now."

"Why do they want to arrest us?" Nat frowned, "We saved the world! AGAIN!"

"They want to find someone who they could blame and become a scapegoat for this event." The Doctor replied, "But don't worry. Tony has his army of the best lawyers money could buy dealing with all of this. He got the committee to postpone the hearing until the two main witnesses get back to good health again."

"They want me and Steve?'  
"Yes." Bruce nodded, "But President Ellis was kinda on the fence about arresting Captain America. Well, he had a great deal of respect for you and arresting the national icon would hurt the government badly."

Natasha knew her faith right then. She will be that scapegoat. They will make her the scapegoat.

"I won't let them do that." Steve reassured her, "If they want to get to you, they will have to go pass me and I'm sure that they have to get though the rest of the Avengers too."

"The other guy won't let anyone touch you either, Natasha." Bruce quietly added.

"I will be there with you on the day of our hearing." Steve told his soulmate, "I will tell Tony's lawyer that I will be in the hearing at the same time as you."

"Thank you, Steve,"

* * *

Every member of the Avengers including Maria had been summoned to Washington DC after another week had passed and Steve and Natasha finally got released by Bruce. Everyone stayed at Tony's apartment for their safety.

Coulson and his team were in the dark so no one could find them. He reported that he had found an old SHIELD base from Fury's toolsbox and they will lay low for a while until everything was set up and they could find more people.

Steve and Natasha's schedule for the hearing was in the last day so the couple had time to go over everything and what they would say. Of course they will tell the truth. They didn't care what people might think about them at all.

Tony went in first but he was Tony so no one could easily touch him. He had an army of lawyers at his back so the committee couldn't do anything. Bruce was next. They wanted to contain him but Bruce calmy said that he was in the right place right now. He had someone who had the ability to calm the Hulk and people that the Hulk would listen to.

"Locking me up in your government facility wouldn't help me at all. It only worsen and the Hulk will not like it." Bruce said, "All I want to say is we're protecting humanity and its freedom from HYDRA who was trying to take it away from each and every one of you. Not to mention that they were planning on commit a mass murder in order to prevent anyone from getting in their way."

The next one was Thor but the god refused to attend 'this nonsense disrespectful event for those who sacrificed their life protecting this realm' which ended up with Tony as the one who delivered the massage.

"Who am I to argue with the god?" That was all Tony said.

Steve and Natasha were the last. Everyone wished them luck. Happy and Clint would accompany them too in case things got out of control and the couple needed a quick escape.

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do." "I do." Both of them said at the same time with their hand on the Bibles.

"Please state your full name for the record." One of the committee said.

"Captain Steven Grant Rogers."

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova."

Her real name that not many people knew. The name she had to change in order to get rid of the past that haunted her memories. Now it was out in the open along with the rest of SHIELD's secrets—HYDRA secret.

"Also known as Captain America and the Black Widow who is also known as Natasha Romanoff."

"Yes, sir." Steve answered for both of them.

"Miss Romanoff, were you a KGB spy trained by the Red Room, a terrorist organization?"  
"Yes, but now I'm an American citizen."

"Only because you're working for SHIELD and SHIELD is no more." General Anderson said coldly, "There is many of us on the committee thought that we should exile you back to your motherland."

"If you exile her, you have to exile me too, General." Steve spoke up, "Let the record state that Natasha Romanoff and I are soulmates and if you choose the exile her, I will follow her. Then you have to give America and President Ellis a very good explanation of why you decided to banish Captain America from his homeland."

Fear flashed in their eyes at Steve's direct threat. They knew it they couldn't touch Captain America who had the whole country at his side.

But they had to find someone who they could clearly blame for this.

"We will see about that Captain. If you and Agent Romanoff are found guilty from this case."

"From the previous testimony before this committee by your accomplice. Mr. Stark, Agent Barton, Dr. Banner, and Agent Hill stated that you two were the spear head of this."

"Yes, we are. After we discovered the plan HYDRA had been working. Captain Rogers and I had planned to stop them." Natasha replied.

"So your plan was to dismantle the entire intelligence organization and exposed its secret to the world?"

"Since HYDRA was embedded deep within SHIELD, this was the only logical solution to do, sir." Steve answered.

"Are you well aware that our country now has a big hole in its defense because of your actions?"

"We do, sir." The captain replied, "But it is better than let HYDRA taking over the world and kill innocent people."

"By using the algorithm that your team claimed that could predict the future, analyze and targeting people."

"Yes."

"Director Fury is also the one who purposed this project to the Security Council and you say HYDRA is behind this…"

"So did Secretary Pierce who is the new head of this new HYDRA. He had connection with high ranking members of SHIELD and the government. He made sure that everyone approved of this project." Natasha countered, "Director Fury only wanted the counter measurement for the incident like the Chituari attack...he only wanted to protect this world."

"What do you have to say, Captain?" General Anderson asked.

"I don't know what's left for me to say, sir. I think the rock in the middle of the Potomac made my point fairly eloquently." Steve shot back.

"Well, you could explain how this country's expected to maintain its national security now that you and her have laid waste our intelligence apparatus."

"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, you should know that there are some on this committee who feel, given your service record, both for this country and against it, that you belong in a penitentiary, not mouthing off on Capitol Hill. Or like we are previous said, exile."

"You're not gonna put me in a prison. You're not gonna put any of us in a prison. You know why?" Natasha shot back.

"Do enlighten us." Scudder said.

"Because you need us. Yes, the world is a vulnerable place, and yes, we helped make it that way. But we're also the ones best qualified to defend it. So if you want to arrest me, arrest me. You'll know where to find me."

They laced their hands together before they both got up and walked away with the reporters surrounding them trying to get a word with the two heroes.

Clint and Happy were waiting for them outside. The four of them headed to the airport where Tony's jet was waiting for them.

"We're going home."

* * *

Three days after the hearing, Steve, Natasha, and Sam had go back to Washington again to meet with Fury as the former director request. They will meet at the graveyard they buried Fury.

Wearing sunglasses and hoodie, Fury met Steve, Natasha, and Sam at a cemetery at his own grave.

"So, you've experienced this sort of things before?" Fury spoke up.

"You get used to it." Steve said.

They looked at Fury's gravestone which bore the epitaph  _'_ _The path of the righteous man. Ezekiel 25:17_ _'_

"We've been data-mining HYDRA's files. Looks Like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship. I'm heading to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you'd come."

"There's something I gotta do first." Steve replied without hesitation, "And I have to ask my soulmate."

Fury just nodded before turning to Sam, "How about you, Wilson? I could use a man with your abilities."

"I'm more of a soldier than a spy."

"Alright then."

Sam and Steve shook Fury's hand.

"Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here." Fury looked to his gravestone and walked away, just then Natasha joined Steve and Sam.

"You should be honored, that's about as close as he gets to saying thank you." She teased and walked right into her soulmate's arms.

_He was warm and alive in her arms._

"Hey, soulmate." He greeted her with a warm smile.

"Hey…" She leaned up to kiss him.

"What are you planning for us next?" Steve asked.

"I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one."

"That might take a while."

"I'm counting on it."

"You know, you could be just Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, and the Avengers." He said and pulled her close, "My soulmate."

"That's sound nice."

"You can come with us, Sam. You're the Avengers too."

"You guys want me in?" Sam asked in excitement.

"Yeah, you already prove yourself to be one of the most loyal and courage man we both every met." Nat replied, "And you are kind enough to let us in."

"Hell yeah!" Sam exclaimed, "I gotta be the Avengers!"

* * *

The trio headed back to New York. Everyone welcomed Sam so warmly that the guy had tears forming in his eyes. Tony insisted that Sam would become a member of the Avengers and he will have his own floor too.

"It is too soon to discuss about this, Tony." Steve stopped the excited billionaire before he gone wild with all the idea in his head, "Maybe after dinner we will discuss about this."

"Fine." Tony rolled his eyes, "Maybe we should let the new kid cook for us to see that he really qualify as the Avengers."

This time, Natasha snorted, "You only wanted to know that there will be someone willing to cook for in 3AM in the morning."

"I will not do that for him." Sam shook his head.

"Last time Tony woke Steve and Natasha up at 3 AM, he almost got shot." Bruce reminisced, "And he stopped craving for food at 3 AM for two months."

Everyone laughed. The one man who wasn't amuse by this was the billionaire himself. At the end, Steve and Nat ended up helping Sam in the kitchen which also ended up with Natasha and Steve initiating food fight and making out on the kitchen floor after they both covering in flour.

"You two hit the shower right now!" Pepper ordered.

"Okay…." Nat smiled and dragged her soulmate back to their floor.

"But we gotta help, Sam." Steve protested.

"Jane and I will handle this."

The two came down again an hour later because Nat had to help Steve with egg stick on his head. (Yes, Natasha threw eggs at him. EGGS.) They found that the dinner was ready and looked so good that they knew it was all because of Sam.

They all enjoyed the delicious dinner and the team proceeded to the living room to discuss the important matters. Tony tried to convince Sam in every way he could even Sam agreed to it since the first offer.

"I also start tinkering a new suit of you, Wilson."

"Man, I already say I will move in!"

"I will get the mover for you guys in four days and I will handle everything."

"Thanks, Tony." Steve said, "But Nat and I still on the fence about selling her apartment in DC."

"That place was already trash by every intelligence agency around the world, Steve." Tony reasoned.

"I agree with Stark in this." Clint spoke up, "And they could plant anything inside that apartment to keep track on you guys so it would be safe for both of you to permanently move here."

Natasha slightly moved by Clint's reasoning and she remained silent to think about it to herself. Steve didn't have his own place anyway so he agreed with whatever Natasha said.

"My lady, it is safer to live among friends." Thor added with a bright smile on his face, "We all living together it would bring much joy and happiness."

The soulmate exchanged the conversation in their mind finally Natasha spoke up, "Fine, I will sell my apartment in DC and come live here permanently. Me and Steve."

The boys including Darcy jumped up from their seat and cheered loudly while jumping around that Steve and Nat had to cover their ears in fear of deafness. Pepper had to tell them to calm down because Steve and Natasha basically lived here for almost a year now.

"Well, it just so nice that the team will be here together forever." Clint said.

"Until we decided to kill one another." Natasha chimed in.

"I certainly that Lady Natasha will kill Lord Stark first."

"You are correct, Thor.

They were having a light conversation for about an hour until Steve thought of something and spoke up out of nowhere.

"Hey, I just thought about this. Now that SHIELD was gone. We are on our own now. What should we do next?"

The question hit everyone hard for individual reason. For Steve, his resolve was easy. His home was where Natasha is and he will be with her in every decision they make together. He just joined SHIELD for a very short period of time so he could say that he didn't feel attach to the life of espionage.

For Natasha, it wasn't easy for her. It was the only life she had in her second chance. After she could escape the Red Room and broke from their mind-control, she dedicated her life to SHIELD, to do good for humanity but turned out, she was working for HYDRA. It shook her to the very foundation. She started to doubt her moral. Now that big part of her life was gone, like she said to Steve, she had to figure out a new one,  _with her soulmate_. She had him to help her with every step.  _Maybe this time, she could learn to be the real Natasha Romanoff._

Clint Barton distanced himself away from SHIELD since the Chituari attack. He felt terrible every time he walked into SHIELD HQ and received those judging eyes. He was mind-controlled by Loki and killed several agents and innocent people. Those judging gesture didn't help him but worsen his guilt. It only reminded him of what he did for Loki. Natasha said it wasn't his fault but he still had a very hard time to live with himself. Living with the Avengers did help him somehow. This band of misfit turned out to be more understanding than other people. They helped him through this and accepted him to be a part of this… _family_. Maybe stayed here with them wasn't so bad. Maybe he will find someone who will pull him out from this darkness.

Tony Stark never thought anyone would say yes to this idea. Once he first met them, it was a battle of ego and the mind that clouded by Loki's mind control. The Avengers somehow miraculously worked out in the end. That was when he realized he need these people. No one could carry the world alone. He never really worked with SHIELD but if his Avengers teammates were in danger, Tony wasn't going to let anything happened to his family and he only did it out of…his respect for Fury. SHEILD was gone and the Avengers were on their own. He couldn't lead them but now that Steve was here. Captain America might be able to lead them now.

Thor never found someone who he wanted to fight along like the Avengers. He didn't work with SHIELD but he did respect Fury and when his friends were indeed, he will be there with them, SHIELD related or not. Thor only wanted to protect this realm like he vowed and to be close to Jane. He knew it wouldn't last long…she was a mortal but at least they could have each other for as long as they could. What really important now is that they were here together.

Bruce thought that it would never work out when Natasha came to get him for the Avengers initiative but the other guy said they should tried to trust SHIELD for once. That came out wrong and he almost killed everyone on the helicarrier but in the end, they worked together rather well and the Hulk turned out to like these people. He never worked with SHIELD but provide them with a small consultant and stayed with the Avengers full-time. He finally found a place that he and the Hulk could peacefully live with being paranoid that someone might want to hunt them down. This place was safe and he will stay with his friends.

"The Avengers will continue but on our own. Now that we are the only frontline between the threats and innocent people." Tony spoke up after a very long silent, "But our mission will be solely on stopping the one who threaten the security of this world."

"I agreed." Steve seconded it, "Other people still needed us and if HYDRA is still operated, we too have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, we still had a lot to clean up and make sure no one is trying to take this world again." Natasha said, looking at her soulmate, "I will do this with you."

"I will fight by your side, my friends. As long as you want me as a part of this team." Thor vouched.

"We can help Coulson and Hill rebuild SHIELD. They needed a lot of help to set up the operation." Clint suggested, "But we are not under their supervision anymore. We are on our own."

"Good idea, Legolas"

"The Hulk and I are happy to be here." Bruce spoke.

"I guess that is it." Steve concluded.

* * *

Natasha and Steve were in Washington DC again but this time Darcy and Clint were tagging along to help while Jane and Thor with Sam. The mover will come in three hours because there wasn't much of things left in her apartment anyway. CIA and FBI already tore down her apartment for the evidence that they might use against them during the hearing.

It was down to only their clothes and books and some little decoration. Steve wrapped the last vase in a protective package before putting it in the box. Natasha made sure she sealed every box.

"Alright, soulmate. Time to say goodbye to this apartment." Steve spoke up as they took a look at the empty apartment again.

Nat clung to his side, "I'm gonna miss this place."

"Me too."

Of course, he will. Everything between him and Natasha happened here. This was where it started to develop and blossom into love they shared.

But they will have a new life together now, starting over again.

* * *

Once everything was settled in, the Avengers separated into two groups. First one was in charge of tracking down any lead Fury had left for them which was to track any powerful and dangerous weapon HYDRA might stole from SHEILD and to track down the remained HYDRA agents.

Second group was to tracking down Bucky. It was Steve's personal quest but Natasha and Sam were willing to help him.

"He left from the scene without ant trace. Trust me, Steve. I've already try to scan the crashing site twice."

"I'll keep trying." Steve said, "And thank you for your help, Tony."

The two heroes were discussing this inside the command room. JARVIS showed them the possible site that the Winter Soldier might be and Tony ran a surveillance scan all day and night and had JARVIS alert them the moment they found Bucky Barnes.

Natasha was surprisingly agreed with Steve on doing this. Even deep down she was afraid that Steve might get hurt again. They didn't how fuck up his brain was after HYDRA messed up with his memories. Bucky didn't have someone to pull him out like what Clint did to Natasha.

But she wanted Steve to be happy so she will help him anyway she could. He didn't have to do this alone because he had her now. He had his soulmate to help him carried the burden on his shoulders.

"That thing you asked for, I called in a few favors from Kiev." Natasha came into the room with a file in her arms. She handed the file, "But be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread."

"You know I have to, soulmate."

Natasha just nodded in understand and kissed him on his cheek. Steve opened the file, which is about Bucky and the information regarding his Winter Soldier transformation

"I will ask you again, darling. Are you really okay with me going after him? I know that you are worry about this."

"Do it." She replied, "I'm with you."

* * *

The Avengers invited Coulson and his team to the tower to discuss about setting up the new SHIELD. Maria was there too because she was part of Stark Industries now. She will be a liaison between the Avengers and SHIELD. Phil will be the new director.

The director insisted that he will working separately from the Avengers and he might need some help but in term of technology and, in some severe case, their help to fight against the superpower being.

"We are gladly help you in whatever you need, Phil." Tony said as he shook hand with Coulson, "You're our friend."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark."

After Tony and Bruce were done with helping Phil setting a new tech for SHIELD. Clint took the liberty of arranging a little getaway for the team.

"Pack up right now, suckers! We are off to my place for a week!" Clint announced as her burst into the living room, "No work and all fun!"

"How about no?" Tony replied and git back to the tinkering in his hands, "Unless you give us a good reason of why should we go?"

"So we all can relax and have some team bonding time." The archer shrugged, "We can have a little adventure trip and I need someone help me lawn my yard and feed my cow."

"You have a farm?" Steve frowned. Natasha slightly shifted on top Steve where she was currently sleeping on so the Captain wrapped his arms around her tighter and gently rubbed her back.

"Who say anything about farm?" Clint asked, "I never say it's a farm. Come on, people! Let's get outta here."

Clint took a quite amount of time to convince everyone to get up. Steve had to carry Natasha back to their room. She gave a little protest but got up and helped him pack up their bags. They met Clint at the garage where the archer and Tony already prepared for the truck and a SUV.

"You think you could fit us all in those two cars?" Nat asked while she threw her bags in the back of the truck.

"If you want to bring your Natmobile with you, be my guess." Clint answered.

"Yeah. Steve, we will take my car."

Nat dragged her man to her Corvette. They followed Clint out of the city and began the small road trip to nowhere because the archer insisted that he will not tell them anything about the destination to keep it a surprise.

Steve and Natasha split the drive every time they stopped at the gas station. Tony started to complain when his cellphone had no reception anymore.

"I have a state of the art technology! I have my own satellite! And why on earth I don't have any signal!"  
"Because we are in the wood, Stark." Nat replied as she watched her man filling up the gas.

"I hate being out of town. I couldn't believe myself I accept your invitation, Legolas."

"What? I think it is great if we are away from all the craziness those stupid politicians thrust upon us."

They were arguing about this until the last car was filled with gas. Thor and Darcy came back with a bag full of snack for every car then they hit the road again and it was Steve turned to drive.

Finally, they reached their destination. Steve frowned when he saw the sign at the gate.

"Barton Ranch? What the hell?" He muttered to himself before reaching his hand out to wake his soulmate up, "We arrived, darling."

Nat rubbed her eyes and she had the same reaction as Steve, "What the hell?"

"Your best friend has a farm.  
"My best friend has a farm." She repeated as if she didn't believe what she just saw.

They pulled over in front of what appear to be Clint's farm house. The archer led everyone inside the house.

"It's nothing much but it really is a cozy place."

"When did you buy a farm?" Natasha asked. "Not to mention that you never ever tell me about this."

"It's my little secret nest." Hawkeye explained, "I just buy it a year ago after the Chituari attack."

"You should have told me!" Nat yelled at her friend, "We could have done a lot of crazy stuff here!"  
"Like what? I don't need you here to scare my chickens!"

Their banters continued to no end. Everyone scattered around to find their room. Apparently, Clint already put everyone's on the door so they would know their rooms. Steve walked up and down between two floors to find his room but there was none.

"Mmm…Clint, where is my room?"

The archer gave the captain a mischievous grin, "You two turds follow me. I will show you to your accommodation."

Clint led the couple out of the house through the back door only to find a huge white tent next to a small pond. The archer pushed aside the tent door to reveal a luxurious accommodation inside. It wasn't like any normal tent when it came with an en suite shower on the left side with a wooden partition. Another corner was a living area with a white sofa and coffee table. The middle of the tent was a sophisticate fire place with a cozy fur blankets lay all over the ground. The left side of the tent was a mattress covering with fluffy white blanket and pillows.

"So…this is my gift for both of you." Clint spoke up, "Hope you guys like it because you two can basically live in here."

"Wow." That was all Steve could say as he dropped their bags on the floor, "This is not actually kind of camping I once go with Bucky."

"It's glamping, cap."

"What the hell is glamping anyway?" Steve asked.

"It's a luxury, glamorous camping."

"I see."

"What exactly is your plan here, Clint?" Nat asked, narrowed her eyes at the archer.

Clint shrugged, "You know it's time for you guys to finally do it. So I guess I better set up something nice so you two will be in the mood to…consummate your love and complete that fucking bond."

"We are doing nothing that we aren't ready, Clint." Natasha insisted.

"Well then, enjoy your stay. Dinner at six." Clint headed off the tent door, "If you guys do it, don't wreck my tent okay?"

* * *

The couple did come to have dinner with their friends at the main house. Steve clearly saw Clint handed Tony twenty dollars. Luckily for them, Natasha did see it because she was paying her attention at a big golden retriever.

"Awww!" She knelt down and patted the dog's head, "Hmm, Clint named you Lucky, huh?"

Lucky swung his tail in air and licked Natasha.

"He loves you, Red." Clint said.

"Of course he loves me."

"Yeah, he almost bites Stark in the ass."

Natasha smiled at the dog, "Good boy." She praised.

"Dinner's ready!" Pepper called everyone from the dining room.

It was a nice time that they all shared. Everything on the table came from Clint's farm and it was organic food. Steve and Natasha sat next to each other and clung tight together. Tony and Clint were telling jokes to everyone. Thor was drinking Asgardian mead and offered to Steve who reminded the god that alcohol had no effect on him.

"This is a nectar of the god, Steve. I am certain that it is strong enough to make you feel…a bit tipsy."

"Let taste that theory, hmm?"

"I do not recommend that, Rogers." Natasha warned, "It knocked me out by just one pint of it."

Steve didn't listen and gulped down the whole pint of it and he did feel a bit tipsy like Thor said. The world spun at little and the Captain had to shake his head. Thor grinned widely and poured Steve another pint.

"One is enough." Steve said.

Thor laughed, "Dear captain, only Asgardian mead could knock the strongest warrior to the ground."

"Yeah, I don't need to be knocked to the ground."

"I take that you and Lady Natasha will have a special plan for tonight." The God asked with a mischievous smile.

"God…" Nat groaned but her face has a fainted blush.

"We are not doing anything." Steve insisted but he knew no one would listen to him.

Then the teasing began and it only stopped when Natasha got up in a very threatening way that shut everyone up. She said goodnight and led Steve back to their tent.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked when they were finally alone inside the tent.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"  
"You seemed a bit…murderous a couple minutes ago."

"Yeah, those juvenile jerks couldn't do anything me."

Steve hugged her from behind and kissed her neck, "Good to hear."

"Let take a bath, shall we?"

Natasha pulled her soulmate by his belt and they slowly striped each other off their clothes. Steve put his lips on hers. The touch was setting them both on fire. His hands gently slid down her arm and back relevantly it made Natasha felt like she was the most precious thing on earth.

Steve lifted her up and slowly guided them inside the bathtub. His lips never left her skin and only sucked harder on her neck, eliciting beautiful moans from Natasha. Her hands was at his arms and neck to give herself a better purchase on him. She felt like her body was on fire and his every touch only fueled her desire.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he pulled away to look at her beautiful green eyes.

"I love you too." She murmured back. Finger traced over his lips. She bit her bottom lip and Steve took the sign and kissed her again.

But Natasha pulled away. Obviously had something that troubling her mind.

"You can ask me anything, soulmate." He said.

"Do you see me as her replacement?" It was something that she wanted to know for a long time but didn't dare to ask him directly. Steve was a bit dazed by her question, "And I want an honest answer, Steve."

"I love you, Natasha. You're very similar to Peggy but you're entirely a different person." He explained, "I love you for who you really are. The person underneaths the mask you put on to deceive people. The kind, loving and caring person. The amazing woman I slowly fall in love with and I give you all my heart."

Nat felt tears filled her eyes and she was trying to hold back a sob. Steve smiled at her and pulled her closer to his chest.

"Darling, you don't have to cry." He said, "I'm lucky to have you as my soulmate and if you don't mind I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. I would love for you to carry my child. I would love for us to grow old together." He reached out for something inside his pant's pocket, revealing a red velvet box. He opened it in front of her and it was his mother ring.

"Marry me?"


	25. The Deepest Level of Intimacy

Natasha stared at the ring in front of her before drifting her eyes back to the blue earnest orbs. Steve was looking at her, expecting her answer anytime soon.

_Is this real? Is that really happening? Is Steve really want to spend the rest of his life with her?_

Natasha was quiet and staring at the ring for almost a minute and Steve was getting very nervous from her silence. Millions thoughts ran through his mind, both from his soulmate and his own thought.

"Soulmate?" He spoke up, unsure, "Darling, will you marry me?"

Natasha didn't reply anything but crushed her lips with his in a passionate kiss. Steve got his answer but Natasha pulled away to whispered it to him, "Yes"

He smiled against her lips, "I love you so much, darling" He said, "You mean so much to me, Natasha Romanoff. You're gift, an angle gracing and guiding me back home. I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with, soul mate."

"I would love to spend the rest of my life with you too, Steve so put that ring on my finger already." She batted his forearm.

"I was just trying to be romantic." He excused.

"I know. And I love you for trying to be romantic."

He chuckled before slipped the ring on her finger and kissed the knuckles affectionately.

"But we have to talk about the baby thing again."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know…I don't want them to suffer the thing we've been through together. What if they didn't find their soulmate? What if they never have a chance to see colors? I can't let them live in that hellish world of black and white."

"Baby, we will take about it again. You don't have to worry."  
"Steve…."

"I love you so I will not force you to do something you don't want to."

Natasha smiled and kissed him, "Thank you for your understanding."

* * *

The next morning the couple cooked breakfast for everyone and when everyone was sitting at the table. Natasha and Steve broke the news to everyone.

"We're engaged." Natasha said followed by loud booming voices from everyone.

"One at the time!" Steve yelled over the noise.

"Can Tony and I plan your wedding?" Pepper asked, barely contained her excitement.

"Yes, of course." Natasha nodded.

"I will pay for everything and you guys can have anything that you want!" Tony offered.

"Thanks, man." Steve replied, "But we do want a small and private wedding as you can manage."

"Whatever the bride and groom need!"

"Pep! NO! They must have at least 500 guests! This is Captain America and the Black Widow's wedding!"

"Can I be your best man?" Clint asked.

Thor placed his hand on Clint's shoulder, "We will have to discuss about that, Lord Barton. I want to be Lord Steven's best man too."

"I pay for the wedding! I gotto be the best man!" Tony chimed in.

"I will stay as quiet as possible." Bruce said, "You may do whatever you want, Cap."

"Dr. Banner will be my best man." Steve announced and immediately silenced everyone, "As he is the one who help Natasha and I with this soulmate thing."

Everyone mumbled their agreement because in the end, they will let the captain choose whoever he want. Natasha automatically chose Pepper without any room for anyone to volunteer themselves.

She loved all the girl but Pepper was the closest to her.

Then Tony and Pepper were off to plan the wedding and leaving the rest of the gangs to discuss other things.

"Why don't you guys just get marry here?" Clint asked, "I can accommodate all of us. It's seclude and very private."

"Actually that's a very good idea, Clint." Natasha agreed.

"I can make the glamp tent again but in a more seclude area than this time."

Steve smiled at Natasha and pulled her closer to him by her waist, "That would be great, Hawkeye."

During that day, everyone was still pretty excited about the engagement so Clint had to drag them all out to survey the area to hold the wedding. The archer suggested that the perfect place would be on the hill during sunset. It will make the most beautiful and memorable wedding of all time.

It ended up with them sitting on the top of the hill, watching sunset together.

"I would be great if I have someone by my side." Clint spoke up.

"You will find that person one day, Clint." Natasha reassured.

"Yeah, there are still Maria and I who haven't our special someone yet." Darcy chipped in.

"You better do something, Legolas." Tony teased, "Your clock is running out."

"Shut up, Stark."

Steve and Natasha were left out from this argument because the lovebirds were passionately making out and ignoring everything that happened around them. Natasha climbed onto his laps and nestled herself there, the safest place on earth, the only place that she belonged.

"I belong with you too." He whispered the same sentiment because he heard her voice in his head.

They watched as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon and turned the sky into the shade of a pale tint of orange, fading into twilight.

"That's beautiful." She said.

"Not as beautiful as you."

"Your sweet words will can get you anywhere you want, soldier, so you better use it with only me."

"Of course, darling. Only you."

They shared a kiss but it was interrupted by a loud call from Tony, "Hey, it's freezing so we are heading back to the house right now."

Steve pulled Natasha up but she climbed onto his back and let him carried her all the way back inside the house. Steve sat her down on a couch but his soulmate also demanded a hot chocolate marshmallows before she go to bed.

"Anything my lady want." He said and walked into the kitchen.

"Wow, red. You have him completely in your hands." Tony exclaimed.

"Yeah…"

"Can you guys stall him for me for about half an hour?" Natasha asked out of nowhere.

But the billionaire and the archer knew better than that, "Planning a little sexy right?" Clint asked. His curiosity was off the chart.

"Finally bang?"

"It's none of your business." The spy said, "Will you guys help me or not?"

"Fineeee." The two prankster agreed.

Natasha smiled at them before she walked back to her tent. Steve came back from the kitchen a minute later and frowned when he saw his soulmate was gone.

"Where's Natasha?" He asked. His mind was now wandering to her.  _Where are you?_

 _I_ _'_ _m in the tent. You don_ _'_ _t have to worry_ , she calmed him down,  _and I_ _'_ _m taking bath right now. You can joy me if you want._

_I would love that._

"I will just assume that you have a telepathic conversation with her." Clint said.

"Yeah, we just did. I will go back to my tent right now."

"Wait up, cap!" Tony pulled Steve's arm, "We still have a lot to talk about the wedding."

"I think it can wait for tomorrow."

"NOOOO! We have to talk now."

Steve didn't know what the rush so he just assumed that Tony was too excited about this. Stark asked him about the exact date that he and Natasha wanted so the captain made up the appropriate number. A month from now would suffice because it was just a small wedding with only the team and their close friends anyway.

"1 month!" Tony yelled at him, "I know I have all the money in the world to make it happen…but a month?"

"What's the big deal? I mean….it's only us."

"If you want Red to wear a washcloths…be my guess. Zuair Murad can't make a wedding dress in three weeks."

"I'm okay with whatever you say, cap." Clint shrugged.

"Fine…June then."

"Yeah, four months from now sounds like a logical choice."

Steve sighed and tried to end the conversation as fast as he could. It was almost 40 minutes before Tony and Clint let him go. The two prankster watched as the captain made his way back.

"Do you think they will do it?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, of course. Nat pulled it all out like that. Steve wouldn't stand a chance."

"Shit….I want to see how soul mates consummate their love would be." Tony screeched as his mind wondered, "I bet you it will be extremely hot."

"I don't know. I think they will go for love making."

"Lame." The billionaire pouted, "But I know one thing…they just want to fuck each other brain out."

* * *

Steve made his way to the tent and trying not to spill the hot chocolate which he thought he would have to warm it up before she could drink again. But when he pulled the tent door opened, he stopped dead in his track. Jaw went slack and his eyes were starring on the most beautiful woman he ever seen in his entire life. Then he slowly took in the environment around him.

The tent was decorate with at least 20 scent candles and it aromatic fragrance could only made his brain stopped working.

"What do you think, soldier?"

"Na…Nat…" He stuttered, flushing from head to toe. He was so endearing.

"Put the chocolate down, Steve."

He complied and turned back again to stare dumbly at his soulmate who was in white short silk robe that he could clearly see that there was nothing underneath. Her long smooth legs were seamless as he trailed his eyes downward. He slowly stepped toward her until they were in a close proximity.

She did nothing but it was more than enough to sending his brain on overdrive.

"What are you trying to do, soulmate?" His voice turned hoarse as he whispered near her ears. Steve couldn't stop himself anymore and pressed his lips on the soft skin of her neck, "Gosh, why are you so irresistible?"

Natasha shivered under his touch and his deep sexy voice. She melted in his embrace and beautiful moans eliciting from her lips, only fueled Steve's deep dark desire and he succumbed. She could see that his pupils were dilated with arousal. There was no flushing Steve Rogers anymore. This man in front of her was something else entirely. Natasha couldn't help but pressed herself tighter against him and felt his hard arousal against her legs.

Steve growled at the sudden friction. Hot breathe kept hitting her skin, making Natasha burned to the core.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked.

"Yes…only with you, soulmate."

He lifted her petite body up as Natasha wrapped her legs around his waist. Their lips never left each other's until he placed her down on their bed. Natasha pulled him down for another slow and sensual kiss as he let her take control and search every corner of his mouth. Nat moved her hips against his, desperate for more friction between them.

"I love you." The word rippled through every part of her as his reverent fingers started to part her robe and kissing down every inch of silky skin he found. Hot lips trailed down from the side of her face to her neck. His teeth was scarping at her collarbones, making Nat squirmed under him. Fingers threaded in his hair, drawing him all the more closer. Steve kept murmuring how sweet and beautiful she was, how perfect she was, how kind and good she was to him, how much he love her at every inch of newly revealed skin.

She repeated the sentiment and then moaned aloud uncontrollably when he took her hard nipple in his mouth. Her back arched as he took his time eagerly pleasured her with his tongue and teeth. He gave her more pleasure than she could possibly ever think of. But as his lips almost reached her left hips, her hand still his and he looked up at her beautiful green eyes to see a protest with a mixture of desire.

"It's the scar…you don't want to see it." She tried to breath. Chest heaving as she looked down to him, "It will ruin the mood."

"No, it won't."

Steve shook his head and ignored her protest. He parted the robe all the way and revealed the scar from the gunshot wound. Natasha stared at him, gauging his reaction. It was the only flaw on her perfect skin and she was constantly self-conscious about it.

But Steve Rogers was really something else. He smiled at her and bend down to kiss Natasha's scar, gently, lovingly, making tears brimmed in her eyes. He told her she was never be as beautiful as she was right now. Natasha knew it wasn't a lie because their minds were connected. He cherished every part of her the way no man could ever make her feel. Throughout her whole life, sex was lie and deception. Mission, target and kill. Not this, not making love the way Steve was doing to her.

"How does Captain America learn all of this? Practice much?" She teased even she was breathing hard.

"You don't need to know." He murmured back as he headed further down on her body.

Natasha arched her back when she felt his lips on her hot wet folds. It was all sweet and gentle but she needed more. She was desperate for more. She couldn't take this slow torment anymore.

"Steve...baby...please" Her breath caught in her throat as her hands pushed his head down to urge him to go faster. He complied, anything she want she will have it. His tongue licked up her slit, tasting her sweet nectar, until he found the sensitive nub that made Natasha moaned his name out loud. Body writhed, searching for ultimate release. Steve sucked hard on her clit and took it between his teeth, teasing her. His hand went to her hips to still her as his finger continuously thrust in and out of her center.

Her plea became more desperate as she felt her orgasm was close. Her breath caught in her throat and moans became louder. She shouted his name when her walls finally convulsed around his fingers and a warm gush flowed out of her and onto his hand. He didn't stop until she came down from the euphoric high. Natasha gently shoved him away, too overstimulated.

When she opened her eyes again, Steve was striping off his clothes and giving her a great view from the place she lay. He was indeed a finest specimen and he was indeed enhanced everywhere. Steve knelt down between her legs, parting them wide enough. Natasha felt the tips of his length at her entrance and the spy fought the urge to just thrust her hips up, biting her lips to keep herself from moaning.

"Steve…I need you." It sounded like a hopeless plea that only him could release her from this agony.

"Yes, darling." He sweetly replied before slowly pushed himself into her wet heat. They both groaned at the sensation. Even she was dripping wet but he took it slow, pushing in inch by slow inch until he seated fully inside her heavenly body. A whimper escaped her lips and it took Steve's attention. His blue eyes cautiously observed her but he saw nothing but desire burning bright.

Steve felt so good inside her, stretching her out, filling her up, reaching the place she didn't know it was exist within her. Every touch of him making her feel… _alive_. He slowly pulled back, moaning at the feeling of her heat and wetness that surrounded him. They were made for each other. Steve bended down to kiss her lovingly as he planted both hands on the bed for the support. Eagerly trying to press back against his hard thrusts, her legs came wrapping around his hips. Hands took hold at his muscled back as they started moving together in the perfect rhythm.

 _It was too much_. Too much feeling that Natasha never experienced from sex before. It had never been this way before. She never felt so much love from a man. Before this it was all greed and lust, not love, caring and reverent. It was all new and earth shattering kind of realization.

_This was a dream._

"It is real, darling." He whispered in her ear, "I'm real."

She stared back up at him. Tear ran down the side of her face from her beautiful green eyes, "I love you" She said.

"Why are you crying? Am I hurting you?" He was alarmed at her reaction.

"No…no…I just…it's perfect." She choked back a sob and broke out into a smile, "Everything is perfect."

Steve kissed away her tears and picked up his pace once again. His hands took hold at her hips as they moved as one, breathed as one, and became alive as one. Their souls also reached out for each other, their mind became one, and every part of their very own being came together at this final stage of the bond.

The deepest level of intimacy between two soulmates. The soulmate bond was finally completed and nothing could separate them forever.

Another waves of tears of joy fell from Natasha's eyes as she felt how close they were now. Her desire was already uncontrollable and she was about to combust when he thrust back to the hilt in one powerful slam, feeling his cock rubbing over her g-spot making Natasha moaned quietly. She trailed her finger through his hair, holding him closer at the same time he rocking faster into her.

"Steve….god…almost…" She couldn't get her brain to work anymore as all of her was consumed with lust and desire.

Steve seemed to pick that up and drove hard and fast into her. Natasha threw her head back and moaned aloud. His thick shaft pulsing inside her and it made her body spasm and convulsing around him. Steve groaned out her name as her wall milking him, pulling him over the edge with her. Steve didn't stop moving even when she came hard, stilling moving his hips harder, deeper, helping her ride out her orgasm as he filled her up.

He held her tight and didn't let her go until she finally came down from her high. He caught her in his warm embrace, pressing a loving kiss over her neck and shoulder, murmuring how much he love her.

Natasha felt herself crying again. She never felt so much love until this very moment, until her Steve. He settled down next to her on their bed and pulled her along with him.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Steve." She replied.

"I'm so lucky to have you, soulmate." He looked into her beautiful green eyes, "I was so lost, Natasha, until I found you. I'm home."

* * *

**\- The End-**


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